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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think you should be able to sue your mum if you weren't breastfed

694 replies

Richocet · 15/03/2012 08:04

and have suffered health consequences that could have been prevented by breastfeeding?

OP posts:
MadameChinLegs · 17/03/2012 15:07

I wonder about the sentance "more FF babies die of SIDS than BF babies". Could this not be because possibly more babies are FF? If 100 babies die of SIDS, and 80 of those are FF BUT 80% of all babies are FF then surely the same percentage are at risk? I'd rather see it explained in those terms than more FF babies die of SIDS than BF babies.

MadameChinLegs · 17/03/2012 15:07

grrr....sentence

latrucha · 17/03/2012 15:08

'the amount of desperate searching/money spending the pro bfing lobby do'

??

If you have any evidence for this statement, I'd be glad to see it. As far as I know, no one is spending a huge amount of money on researching the benefits of breastfeeding or on linking formula to health issues.

I would be delighted if there were.

Coconutty · 17/03/2012 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsHeffley · 17/03/2012 15:18

You get my drift,should have said -desperate linking some Mumsnetters do instead.Wink

Astronaut79 · 17/03/2012 15:24

Exactly, mrs. On this thread, I'm quite clearly destined for sainthood, as I breastfeed.

On the wohm/sahm threads I'm probably going to hell cos I wohm.

Just waiting for the threads on:

vegetarian child vs meat fed

telly vs no telly

sweary toddler vs toddler learning French

clarks vs other shoes

cats vs dogs

frozen peas vs garden grown

MrsHeffley · 17/03/2012 15:28

Exactly I alternate regularly Astro.

Only on MN can you in a day go from poisoning your child to being a medal deserving provider of health inducing food.

I do hope all these bfers don't feed their kids red meat!!!!!

MrsHeffley · 17/03/2012 15:30

Actually am I a saint or the devil?I bf and ff all my 3.They hardly ever have red meat though soooooooo.......

ledkr · 17/03/2012 16:47

*Ledkr- I'm sorry to hear that, and for you, obviously formula is a life saver. You do the best with what you are given. The vast majority of women can bf, but they don't, this is not doing the best with what you are given.

I've had my own struggles with breastfeeding, and it's been bloody hard, as are alot of things when you have child, it didn't give me an excuse to not do my best though.*

Im glad you appreciate how hard bf can be and well done for sticking it out.
However add to that maybe some siblings maybe one with sn or maybe some pnd or an unsupportive dp who is hardly there or maybe complications after a birth or elderly parents to care for. Just a few of the many reasons that "doing your best" would be far more difficult.
Its not always possible to devote so much time to getting it right.

I have worked with women who cannot bf due to having been abused in the past and some women actually just choose not to.

I work in cp and trust me there are far greater issues for some children and nobody ever starts a thread about that.Some people would be struck dumb by how some children live.

It is lovely that you have been able to bf your children and im sure they have benefitted greatly,but how others choose or are able to feed their children really is none of your business.

OriginalJamie · 17/03/2012 16:51

In my time on MN I have read some excellent posts by breastfeeding campaigners. People who have some empathy.

OP you could have chosen to start a thread about the lack of support given to bf mothers, or about formula marketing, or about all the other things you want to bang on about.

But you chose not to do that. You chose a stupid, illogical and insensitive thread title, and ignore the emotional and psychological dimensions which others have pointed out. As Ariel says, you aren't going to change anyone's mind by your approach.

shagmundfreud · 17/03/2012 17:02

"but how others choose or are able to feed their children really is none of your business"

This thread is a general discussion about feeding choices. Nobody has made any personal judgement on any individual's choice, neither do they have the right to.

But babies' sole source of nutrition for the first six months of life is a public health issue, and it's wrong to suggest it's an inappropriate topic for debate.

As for the disadvantaged children you describe, nobody here is saying that it's more important for a baby to be breastfed than to be loved and cared for, but actually babies bought home from hospital into the most chaotic, dirty and disorganised households have by far the most to gain from being breastfed, as long as their mothers aren't currently abusing alcohol or drugs.

Those are the babies who are far more likely to end up in hospital with gastric illnesses from unhygenic bottlefeeding, the more likely to be abused if minor infections make them more fractious and harder to care for, for a parent who is already barely coping.

Really disadvantaged children often get the worst of everything in terms of education, nutrition, housing. A few months of breastfeeding would give them a nutritional start in life as good as the very richest baby in the country. Why shouldn't we want this for them? It might be the only time in their life they ever get the best of something. Sad

OriginalJamie · 17/03/2012 17:04

Nobody has made any personal judgement on any individual's choice, neither do they have the right to.

you haven't shag, but, just have a look at the thread title ....

ledkr · 17/03/2012 17:21

Grin at the thought that bf could make any difference to any of the serious cases i work with.
Trust me,to put anymore pressure on some of these mothers would be very detrimental to a family.
And sadly the amount of stress these Mums often live under hardly makes for a great supply of milk an 2 hrly feeds and fractious babies is the last thing they need.
My point is that whilst many people seem to think its their lifes cruisade to make sure other people bf,nobody really trys to put a stop to the very real and more serious issues.
And suggetsing that somene sues their parents for not bf is utterly making a judgement on someones personal choices is it not?

issimma · 17/03/2012 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ledkr · 17/03/2012 17:53
Grin

I also put-wait for it-a sprinkle of sugar on dd's weetabix Shock

baskingseals · 17/03/2012 18:07

sometimes it isn't a choice though, Shagmund.

MrsHeffley · 17/03/2012 18:13

Well quite clearly Ledkr she will loose all her teeth and get diabetes to boot in later life-you should be ashamed!!!!!

AlpinePony · 17/03/2012 18:51

Amen ledkr, I cry when I read the papers about abused children (that case in Hamilton a few months ago really hit a nerve ) - and yet we have morons here getting ants in their pants about people feeding children with something they'd choose not to.

Katy1368 · 17/03/2012 18:52

I honestly look at my FF daughter now compared to all the others in our NCT who were all breast fed and now they are 4 they are all the same. You couldn't tell who was BF or not you really couldn't. It seems only one small factor in a multitude of factors that add up to a happy childhood, as long as you most of them right not "suceeding" in a few seems irrelevant at this stage.

catgirl1976 · 17/03/2012 19:03

I combination feed DS so I must be neutral in the heaven / hell thing

But I am a WOHM, use childcare, had an epidural, sometimes co-sleep and have been known to shove him front of baby tv while i get dressed for work

If only I could bring myself to give the tiniest of fucks what the OP or anyone else thinks :)

TrollopDollop · 17/03/2012 19:19

I second everything Mrs h said. I didn't finish what I was saying earlier but in short that research you quote had been discredited by several reviews as when you control for other factors feeding is not a definitive cause. you should spend a little more time understanding this research before you quote it.

shagmundfreud · 17/03/2012 20:24

Trollop - you'd better e-mail the FSIDS, the chief executive of the NHS, the Royal College of Midwives and every single other reputable Health organisation in the UK involved in the health and welfare of babies and children, who currently support the view that breastfeeding is associated with significant reduction in a range of both common illnesses (respitory infections and gastric illnesses) and a small number of more serious ones (diabetes and SIDS for starters) for and explain to them that their panels of medically trained staff who spend hundreds of hours every year reviewing the evidence HAVE GOT IT WRONG.

And you know this on the basis of a bit of googling in between changing nappies and preparing the evening meal.

Seriously - the arrogance and desperation of some of you beggars belief Hmm

ArielNonBio · 17/03/2012 20:37

Is this still going on? How tedious.

ledkr · 17/03/2012 20:47

Ha ha arrogance?? Tis it not arrogant to keep telling people whatvthey should be doing just because you think they should and you are showing your ignorance insulting people who have tragically lost babies to sids.

Have you actually read the op cos if you had you would have been wise to start your own thread cos posting on here looks as if you are agreeing with the stupid sentiments.

After all if you die from s.i.d. cos your selfish mother didnt breast feed you,you can hardly sue them can you? Hmm

Distance y ourself from this horriblke thread or your credibility will be questioned.

ledkr · 17/03/2012 20:48

Oh dear so many typos and im sober too.

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