Husband feeding baby from a jar

[Ilikechocs]

DS2 is 16 weeks old today. He's a breastfed baby with the odd formula bottle. Has a bit of a cold just now so was up a couple of times last night, having previously slept through.

Had an appointment at teatime for a well needed haircut so DH came home from work and took over. Came home from haircut to find half empty jar of puree on worktop. DH had decided he needed it, hadn't discussed it or anything.

Got a bit annoyed as, with our other children, I would have preferred to start with baby rice when he was first weaned, I would also have taken photos etc and most importantly, I don't think he is ready for it. I would also have made purees myself, although have nothing against jars. I also wouldn't have given him his first taste of solids at 7pm incase it resulted in a sore tummy in the night (which I will have to see to!) Have told him that if DS2 is up in the night, he will have to get up, not me.

Clearly, DH doesn't believe in the art of communication. Am I right to be annoyed?

I'd have been grateful that my husband had remembered to feed the child!

I think your dh has probably been speaking to your mil.....

I was told they'd been changed last week by a health professional - if that's not the case, i'm sorry but am just passing on what i was told by, and i repeat, a health professional.

Before this descends into 'hcp know nothing and you should believe me as an anonymous internet poster', Dd weaned at 6 months and i personally think this is the best idea idea and what i'm planning for no2.

Was your DH aware that you felt DS2 wasn't ready for solids?

I agree it does seem strange for him to 'experiment' like that unless someone put the idea into his head.

I'd have been annoyed if my DH had done this, but then I was quite vocal about not wanting DS weaned before 6 months whenever weaning came up in conversation.

Meant to also add i am really clumsy when posting not helped by using my phone...

When i said they're always changing, i meant advice and guidance for parents...

Once again, sorry for the bum advice

Back when I had ds1 & 2 the weaning guidelines were not before three months at the earliest. Although I recall waiting until at least 4 months and only then introducing home-made fruit puree in very small quantities. Ex-dh, in fairness would never have behaved like the OP's husband. Mainly because he'd have needed a map with a fucking great "X marks the spot" to find anything related to the babies.

So YANBU in being somewhat surprised to come home to this scenario. I doubt it'll do your child much damage but it would irritate me to discover this sudden and previously undiscussed weaning. Although I really can't imagine taking pictures of a baby covered in glurpo so that aspect wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest. Do people really do this? If so, where do you stop with the paparazzi shoot? First poo in a potty? First pee on the kitchen floor?

Man makes own decision with PFB shocker.....

I have no issue whatsoever with him thinking a 4 month old baby was ready for solids, but I do think he should have started him on some baby rice first and not gone straight into the jar.

If your DH had been at work and you had decided the time was right to give baby solids, would you have waited and checked that your DH was happy about it first? I doubt it.

It's tough being a man sometimes. If you do nothing you are lazy and uninvolved, and if you do something you do it wrong.

If you cant trust anyone with your baby why dont you just take the baby with you eveywhere? Poor man. Hes allowed to babysit at your convenience, but not allowed to actually be the baby's father.

I'd be annoyed. Better warn him now not to decide to take the baby for a haircut without you.

Sorta joking, sorta not.

He made a decision you don't agree with, you probably make some he doesn't agree with. Being the mother isn't the trump card.

I agree with you trixie. This is all a bit patronising

If it's not mens' fault, it's their bloody mothers

Furious? Livid? The man gave his daughter some food not heroin.

Thank you to everyone who has responded to my post on here. Ok, I didn't quite mean 'all men need to be told' but I'm sure that some of you get the picture - I agree that there are perfectly capable men out there. It just to happens that DH doesn't know (and wouldn't find out off his own back) when to start weaning, potty training etc etc.

Tooscary - you are absolutely right. As a breastfeeding mum, I am the primary carer and am annoyed that he chose to try and wean without any discussion. He says he didn't consult anyone.

Yes, I would have liked to have taken a photo of my child with his first solids. But yes, maybe that's just me. I like to do these things. And no, obviously, I wouldn't take a photo of him with his first pee on the floor etc, that is ridiculous.

And no, DH does not have it 'shit' as someone so nicely put it.

To iscream - re haircuts, we've been there and done that with DD. Except he chose to cut her hair himself (another story, he's not a hairdresser) which nearly ended up divorce!

The update is that DS2 didn't sleep through last night and woke because of his cold as originally indicated. Of course, DH didn't get up for him, I did.

Obviously, to any male posters and 'trixie' I don't mean to come across as patronising. I posted here to get support from fellow mums. Thank you to everyone who has supported my thoughts but it is also disappointing that some MNetters have to be negative and downright horrible sometimes, not just on my post but on others.

At the end of the day, I'm the baby's mum, I carried him and gave birth to him and am his primary caregiver. I have worked hard to establish breastfeeding and a routine along with my other DCs.

It was just a random thing to do.

If he had cooked and pureed the food himself would it have been ok?

It sounds to me that the OP is cross because a) he has done this without discussing with her - who, as a breastfeeding mum is the primary carer food-wise at the moment and b) it was kind of pre-meditated (he bought the jar at lunchtime) so he's actually been a bit sneaky to get it in then give him some puree the minute he's out of the house.

Evil chap - buying baby food for a baby.

On a more serious note OP, beware the trap of criticising everything not done Your Way, as over a few years that can turn into you doing everything.

In caes like this its useful to have an End Result Checklist:

• dying baby? No
• fed baby? Yes.

As sunnydelight said above, being the mother is not a winner takes all trump card.

His decision to give puree is so far off the guidelines YANBU to be very cross. Between 17 and 25 weeks I'd still expect both parents to discuss whether they should go against the guidelines.

I agree what

YANBU OP

I'd be bothered that it was before dc was ready, before the earliest guidelines and without discussion.

FWIW, I wouldn't give DD solids without discussion with dh (she's dc2).