to really not identify with the feminist boards on here, when i always thought I was a feminist

[DinahMoHum]

seems so joyless and anti sex.

I feel very conflicted now. I always thought feminism was about equality for women, which I dont believe we have, but it seems to re\lly be focusing on the wrong issues for me, and getting too much into dynamics of personal relationships, and peoples sexual preferences

im probably being unreasonable

Now, as we are stereotyping feminists as aggressive, miserable and shouty, I think I might dig out my old yellow dungarees, crop my hair and find my old blue bovver boots....

Had those in the 70s.

Gurl Its just a shame that posters who are interested enough to go onto the FWR boards don't stay because they say they don't feel valued or welcome there. It does happen and its a shame, won't lose any sleep over it, but it is a shame.

"I think Feminists need to realise that they do not come across at all well when so many of them are aggressive, shouty and do not appear to be particularly happy or pleasant people. I realise that only a small minority of feminists are like this but they are also the most visible group and the ones who tend to make themselves heard the most."

Well, I think anti feminists need to realise that they don't come across qt all well when so many of them are passive, pathetic and do not appear to be particularly aware or thoughtful people.

Just wondering how that makes you feel........

ShitThatsALotOfMoney I get it that some people have felt like that, but, honestly, I haven't. I have only posted on there a few times and actually started a couple of threads under an old name. The only reaction I had was welcoming and kind. Nothing nasty, nothing unpleasant at all.

"I think Feminists need to realise that they do not come across at all well when so many of them are aggressive, shouty and do not appear to be particularly happy or pleasant people. I realise that only a small minority of feminists are like this but they are also the most visible group and the ones who tend to make themselves heard the most."

Replace 'feminists' with 'non-feminists' and you've summed up a lot of this thread.

'Now, as we are stereotyping feminists as aggressive, miserable and shouty, I think I might dig out my old yellow dungarees, crop my hair and find my old blue bovver boots....

Had those in the 70s.'

That's the one bit I couldn't do though.
I had the dungarees and the boots and the attitude...but I had long black hair down to my tailbone. Couldn't crop it, even to conform.

Gurl Which is great, but that wasn't my experience at all. Like I said, its just a shame really.

Damn, now I find myself wanting to go to the feminist board...

What usually happens at this point in these threads is that the FWR regs agree to be more welcoming, start up some welcome, intro and chat threads, or even after one such thread, stop posting altogether.

And none of the detractors ever bother popping over and starting to contribute in the air of "truce". I find that really strange.

Dustinthewind Nah, actually had long, red curly hair (as in nickname), but that wouldn't have sounded quite right in the post

ShitThatsALotOfMoney Well, I hope you go back & have a better experience next time :)

ShitThatsALotOfMoney I suspect a lot of people don't feel welcome because they are disagreed with.

What do you suggest we do about that? I'm not about to find porn or prostitution sexay fun just so that other MNers won't have their feelings hurt by being disagreed with. Neither am I going to hold much truck with arguments about high numbers of false rape claims, etc.

The nature of MN is that people tend to state their opinions fairly robustly. The FWR section is no different in that respect.

You know all these feminists who are really committed to feminism but don't like the FWR boards? But ackshully, they really are committed feminists?

Where were they on the F4J threads?

That's a real feminist issue to get your teeth into. The misogyny and stereotyping of F4J.

Where were you all, feminists? You must have known that's a topic most of the FWR regulars would agree with you on?

Ah, fuck. You know what I forgot to do this morning? I forgot to appear happy and pleasant.

I know I have a clown suit somewhere, underneath my copy of Beauty and Misogyny and on top of How to Win Friends and Influence People. Shall I get it?

...is now totally sad to realise that can't get 50-odd year old body into yellow dungarees last worn by 20-odd year old body :(

Luckily, lots of lurkers usually take the plunge, though.

Refusing to engage with tossers?
Doing family stuff?
Marking books?
At work?
I could say the same about all the lack of posts on Memoo's threads about the closing of Refuge. She had one running in AIBU and one on FWR.

BasilRathbone Sorry, I was lurking on that thread and was too chicken to post. Will try to join in next time.

Slow typing, my last post was to Basil.

Gurl Maybe I will

Beachcomer I think that what I didn't like the few times I tried to get involved on the FWR boards was some quite aggressive responses and on other threads quite belittling responses. The threads were about SAHM type topics rather than porn/rape type issues where you would more expect aggressive passionate responses.

Basil Must all feminists be committed feminists? That is a very high expectation to have of people. Personally, I'm interested in the role of women in the workplace and the issues surrounding that and any discussion that follows. I'm not very interested in F4J. Maybe I'm not committed enough?

Perhaps what is needed is a slight expansion of the Feminist section.

I can see how people may be intimidated and / or put off if many of the subjects are , can't think of the right word, but 'weighty' . Discussions about feminist texts and articles may not be accessable for some, especially if their free time is limited. If many regulars are tierd of doing feminism 101 everyday to get new visitors upto speed it just adds to the alienation.

Maybe that's a terrible idea. < shrugs > but a lot of this stuff seems to be about perception. And whether that perception has foundation or not is almost irrelivant to the outcome.

I know this sounds terrible, or could do, but add a 'fun fem' section and I bet there'd be less of these bun fights are more people flowing into the more serious issues.

I think in relation to this thread though the problems have their roots in personalities not ideology.

I'm probably not either, commited enough to the feminist cause I mean.
I tend to get all het up about children's rights and disablist issues, and feminist stuff has to take its turn.

Really? I have found that the FWR section regulars do not bash either SAHMs or WOHMs - they tend to support both choices and get annoyed with the system that makes it hard for women whatever they do after becoming mothers.