To not go to DN's Christening so DD can go to a party?

[reddaisy]

Dsis is having DN Christened on the same day that DD has been invited to a party at a soft play. Aibu for wanting DD to go to the party?

I want to help her forge some friendships with the other preschoolers as she is leaving the village preschool soon as she only has a temporary place there.

Ideally I would like to miss the christening myself but I understand that would ruffle some feathers. DP could take her and we could all make the gathering afterwards.

We aren`t religious so Im not sure how this would be viewed.

DD is three by the way.

I'm having DD Christened this weekend and I'd be really upset if my sister took my DN to a party instead. Obviously every family is different (DSis is actually DD's Godmother so slightly different).

In my family it's not about how religious the guests are it's about the support they show by actually turning up to something that's clearly important to the parent.

I think that is a bit U to be honest.
She'll have other parties to go to surely?

I'd imagine it mght upset your DSis quite a bit if your DD didn't go but perhaps if the timing works your DP could bring your DD to the 'party' part after the chuch service?

Your DD will be inundated with party invitations over the next few years, but your DN only gets christened once. It sounds like you just don't want to go. It's fine if it doesn't mean that much to you, as you're not religious - each to their own. But if you're looking for a valid excuse that won't upset your family, then I don't think a party invitation would be enough. If you don't want to go, then you should just say so and deal with any reaction - or bite the bullet and go.

I'm not religious but a family gathering like that would take precedence over a party. Your child will have plenty of parties to go to in the future.

You are being very precious and horrible actually.

I think YABU and would be annoyed if my sister didn't go to my sons christening because of a party. I assume the christening has been arranged for a long time?

Yabu. No real friendships are forged at the age of 3. You sound precious and deluded. No child will ask to play with your dd after she has left the school. No parent will think to seek out your dd, unless they are good friends with you. Which they are not, by the sounds of it, as otherwise you would not be desperate for your dd to spend an hour or two at soft play, with children she already see at preschool anyway.

Sorry YABU - your DD will quickly forget she missed a party

Your DSis will not quickly forget you missed the christening of her child

I cannot imagine my DSis even contemplating not coming to DS' christening. Not for anything tbh

YABU and it really would not look very good to the rest of the family when anyone asks where you are and find you chose to take your child to soft play rather than attend a very close family christening.

Oh wow YABU! Massively so! You want to miss an important family event for a nursery party? Seriously?

yabu and not very nice - definitely more important to go to family event rather than party

Scurry said it all for me.

YABU.

Religious or not, a christening is an important family occasion. Far more important than a soft play party with some preschoolers that your DD will not remember or probably still play with in 6 months time.

Would it bother your sister if your three year old wasn't at the church?

I am personally not bothered about going as I am not religious at all and neither is my sister! But without the party invite we would have all gone no question.

I seriously didnt think it would be that much of a big deal. Would it be really that bad for DP to take DD and for as well?

I'm afraid that I agree that not turning up to the christening in favour of a party would be a massive insult to your sister.
Your daughter will be invited to loads of parties, your niece/nephew will get christened once. It isn't about whether you believe. It is about a family gathering to celebrate the naming of a child and then a bit of a party afterwards. Sorry, buy IMO family comes first.

YABU, I wouldn't dream of doing that.

YABU and your sister will hate you for it.

Im not sure Hulababy. I logically dont see why it should as the church would be quieter without Dd there.

I am not being horrible or precious I genuinely don't understand why anyone would get their child Christened if they aren't religious but I will bow to the mumsnet wisdom on whether we should all attend.

Wow, totally unreasonable imo. It's your nieces Christening, it happens once!

Some people use Christenings as an excuse for a family party - religious themes aside, is that a bad thing?

Your DD will get invited to other parties, you DN will only be christened once

My sister definitely wouldnt hate me! Our relationship is very strong. She would tell me how she felt if I broached it with her but if the general feeling is that Aibu then I wont even mention it.

Party invite came first btw

I am not religious but if someone - especially a family member invites me to a christining I go. If its important enought for them to arrange it then its clear important enough for me to go - I think your sister would be quite hurt if you didn't go - especially if the excuse was a party.
Why not invite one or two of the children round to play sometime if you want to continue friendships

Scurry - we would all make the party afterwards. Naively it would appear that I didnt think it would matter if Dd was there.