To really like the book "French Children Don't throw food"

[catgirl1976]

I am sure some of them do and the title is a bit (like French Women Don't Get Fat - I am sure lots do) - and I find the author annoying and think I would dislike her IRL, and I think the "French" attitude to BF is not righ......but these issues aside..........

I've just read this and I loved it. DS is 15 weeks now and I wish I had read it before he was born as I think I would have handled his sleep / waking differently.

He does sit nicely in restaurants though (smug).

It has got rid of my guilt about the fact I will be going back to work in 3 weeks and putting him in nursery and the fact that I combination feed. I love this book :)

It seems like relaxed, common sense, sensible parenting to me

As someone who used to au pair in France - yes they do throw food! But generally it's an interesting concept. Which leads me to another interesting concept: the woman who wrote that book also wrote this -

www.edsaintsimon.com/fichiers/infidele-Marie-claire.pdf?id=infidele-Marie-claire.pdf

it was available on the Marie Claire website but has been temporarily taken off while she gets loads of publicity for the new book! I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. Funny kind of life they lead

I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. Funny kind of life they lead

Well they are French :)

Saw a graph recently on topics viewed on Wikipedi. Sex etc was in Top 10 in every country except Spain and France. Explanation - they are actually having sex rather than agonising it.

Bit like kids, really :o

We live in France, DP is French, and DD has been going to restaurants regularly (several times a month) since she was three weeks old. There has never been a problem with behaviour, ever. I never even thought there might be.

they are french. They don't even have that excuse . She's American, he's British. I sort of know him (or used to - he would have absolutely no idea who I was) so have followed this whole thing with goggling eyes.

I think someone else alluded to this, but the good restaurant behaviour is probably due to a more respectful attitude toward food in the home. You only eat at meal times, always at the table, and no of course you don't play with your food or throw it on the ground. The whole family eats together as well (for dinner at least).

dreamingbohemian - too right, in our family the whole family eats together every evening and all weekend without fail. I eat lunch with DD 3 or 4 times per week as well.

I think that French children may have had their personalities removed by the hideouness that is the french education system .

Seriously though, French DC are what we wouold consider better behaved in certain circumstances, yet revolting in others that bother other cultures.
They don't have a magic wand.

However, I do approve of the way French women generally still value themselves, their lives, their careers and their partners post childbirth. I think far too many British women put everyhting to one side once they have DC. It is tempting of course, but ultimately corrosive and dull, dull, dull.

She's American, he's British.

When in Rome, do what you believe the Romans do :o

wordfactory - French children manage to behave themselves in restaurants before they go near school!

I know...I'm joking.

"I do approve of the way French women generally still value themselves, their lives, their careers and their partners post childbirth."

The ideal is, however, very hard to live up to (despite the massive social pressure to achieve it). The various solutions to maintaining the illusion of the ideal are pretty unpalatable.

I think it's never worth attempting to live up to an ideal. One doesn't need to be perfect.
Just remembering that you and your life do matter post DC, that not everyhting has to revolve around them is worht doing. And I think French women do this better than British women.
Over here there is almost an assumption that you, as a woman, will come bottom of the pile once you have DC. Women who work, have active socialise, spend time on their appearance and their relationships are often seen as selfish or neglectful of their DC. Quite absurd.

bonsoir yes, until recently DH had a job with a 2.5 hour lunch break, I was working at home, so we were all eating together every day for lunch and dinner. It was really nice! I had to put a bit more thought into what we would eat but as a result we all ate much healthier, I think.

I'm hyperventilating at the very thought of DH coming home every lunchtime!

In a good way or a bad way?

Oh bad!

I would have to make sure I was in. And I would have to make sure there was somehting to eat. That he liked! And he would want to talk...oh no, no, no.

Hahaha. Well we only did it a few months, it might have gotten old after a while!

Btw I agree with everything you write here, about women sacrificing themselves too much.

I had a bit of a crisis post-baby as I found I still wanted to do things for myself, was perfectly able to do them without neglecting my baby in any way, yet felt almost paralysed with guilt at actually doing them. How messed up is that?

And as for meeting DC for lunch! Please God, no.

Bonsoir you must be abrely back from the school run when you're setting off for lunchbreak. Then home again and back for collection. You must feel like you're on a sponsored walk!

dreaming it is difficult, everyhting is a conflict. You want to do x, but feel you should do y. Or you feel you should do y and are frankly too knackered.

This is why we shouldn't try to be perfect at anything. Very good will do just fine. And that goes for work, how one looks, the home and child rearing.

Banish perfectionism. Banish guilt.

LOL at sponsored walk.

My whole life feels like a sponsored walk sometimes - go here, go there, carry round scraps of paper and little bits of cash that keep falling out of the envelopes. Always sweaty and harried-looking. Except that no one's sponsoring me

I'm interested in this book because I love the idea that my nearly-one year old might be able to behave appropriately in restaurants at some point n the next year or two or three. We do take him to eat out, but tend to time it so that he's sleeping when we arrive, and then pop him in the highchair and give him one bit of food at a time, or else spoon feed, until he's bored, at which point we typically beat a hasty retreat. At home, he gets more or less what we eat ... But when it's finger food, a LOT gets chucked on the floor.

Now, I think (I hope!) this is pretty normal at this age, but I'd love to know how to encourage a speedy transition towards eating like a civilised adult. Have read Penelope Leach and the toddler taming book, but iirc they both seem to effectively say that it's not possible to have a civilised dinner with a young Toddler: you need to pick your battles if you don't want to be yelling at them the whole time, and should accept that meals with toddlers need to be short and will probably be messy. So this silly-titled book seems to take a quite different attitude - does it give helpful tips on how to get from messy baby to polite, cutlery-using toddler, who won't shame me in restaurants? Or do any of you lot have any?

Don't the French advocate beating the crap out of children though?

Thus, French children are quiet around adults because they are afraid of a good beating.

Remember the fuss a few years ago in Edinburgh when a French father took his kids out of a restaurant and hit them repeatedly? In fact, wasn't he arrested?

The secret of a quiet meal is Angry Birds.

Sit quietlly, eat nicely and you get Angry Birds.

Play up then we go home before pudding and you have to deal with grumpy parents delivering The Lecture

You are all talking about it though aren't you? This is just the latest how-to book for the already besieged parent. I bought STACKS when pregnant and read them all, some I discarded as not for me, some I boggled at, and some I found helpful in parts. How is this one different?

A book called 'Some British Parents Are Way Too Sensitive To Publisher's Whims' might make me some money...

At the risk of sounding smug, our 4 yr old twins have been very good in restaurants. Any tantrum has resulted in a swift exit with the offender under 1 arm where they calm down. We have taken them out from weeks old though and carry quiet entertainment just in case.