To really like the book "French Children Don't throw food"

[catgirl1976]

I am sure some of them do and the title is a bit (like French Women Don't Get Fat - I am sure lots do) - and I find the author annoying and think I would dislike her IRL, and I think the "French" attitude to BF is not righ......but these issues aside..........

I've just read this and I loved it. DS is 15 weeks now and I wish I had read it before he was born as I think I would have handled his sleep / waking differently.

He does sit nicely in restaurants though (smug).

It has got rid of my guilt about the fact I will be going back to work in 3 weeks and putting him in nursery and the fact that I combination feed. I love this book :)

It seems like relaxed, common sense, sensible parenting to me

this is a review of the book

www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/jan/20/french-children-food-pamela-druckerman?CMP=twt_gu

the french do have a very different attitude to parenting, people are not afraid to discipline children parents or when they start school teachers and there is respect for adults from children.

I live in France, and have noticed that Eating is an event to the french, it is still normal for most shops and businesses to close down between 12.15 and 2.15 (ish) for lunch, no quickly grabbing a sandwich. If you go to any evening social events in France you do not expect to be eating your dessert before midnight, and the children do sit and eat well from a very young age it is expected of them and when it gets late the parents make up beds in the corners for them.

At school (which they can go to from 2 and a half) for lunch they are given a very healthy meal a vegetable or salad starter, a main with lots of veg, dessert usually fruit or natural yogurt and cheese after. Table manners are very important and children are encouraged to try everything but not forced to eat, they generally have a very healthy attitude to food.

The children are socialised into the parents lives, the lives of the parents are not restricted by having children, they do not revolve around the children, which seems to lead to more content and happy parents

I just started reading this book and I love it so far!

TheCatInTheHat - I did the pause too.I DID know it was called the pause, although I think it's full name when you translate it into English is "the pause when you lie in bed muttering gobacktosleepgobacktosleepitsthreeinthefuckingMORNING in the vague hope they'll forget they're cross and go back to sleep"

I wouldn't agree with everything the French do, but this book did highlight some of the 'preciousness' that a lot of parents in the UK exhibit.

By the way, why are one or two posters jumping down the OPs neck for her light hearted remark about her 15 week old sitting beautifully in restaurants. Talk about spiteful.

I agree catgirl. Especially with the bit about it being how we were brought up basically! It just seems we have gone the way of the US and gone child centric to their detriment. I also think some people on here are a little too offensive when dealing with your thoughtful comments... but hay! Good luck with your weenie bab - you sound like you are doing a great job.. . don't let any smug "I've got older children than yous" tell you any different.

Thanks riding :) I am muddling through but loving it, so thank you :)

handbag we were on a waiting to give birth thread together weren't we? How is your little one? How are you? Hope its all going great x :)

Yeah catgirl and with Ds we waited, and waited, and waited and waited! He was 15 days late :)

We're doing ok I think, he's huge and is growing out of everything at an alarming rate. I'm starting to go to mum and baby things with him but not clicking with anyone so far and finding it all a bit .. Meh.

Hope all is going well with your Ds too! And that going back to work is going ok for you too :)

Wow 15 days! You poor thing - I went 8 over and that was hard enough

Bet he was worth the wait though - congratulations xx :)

interesting thread, my DH is french, my kids are half French and half English.
MY SIL still puree's her 6 yr old daughter's food and gives her a bottle to drink milk/water from.

Definitely this is the way my DH was brought up and perhaps is the reason why I get very hacked off with his lack of interaction with our children.

must go read

talking to them and explaining to them and expecting good behaviour, allowing them to have a little frustration and not get what they want all the time/straight away, teaching them patience and not rushing to them the minute they make a sound

See, I did all that with DS. He's 2 and a half now, and a fucking nightmare in restaurants.

Never read this but have always instinctively done "The Pause". Perhaps I'm just a bit lazy. I have had two good natured, happy babies who eat well and sleep all night so I think it may actually work. The baby stage was just so easy. I had it down.

That is up until the age of two. Then all hell broke loose both times. Anyone have any tips for taming toddlers?

I think another huge cultural difference is that French mums definitely don't spend nearly as much time as UK mums discussing and feeling guilty about every facet of their babies' lives and their parenting. They just get on with it, particularly in relation to the Big Issues like having pain relief in childbirth (very common in France) and formula feeding (more common in France) which here are turned into massive statements. The less you obsess about something (in this case your children and your parenting) often the more it flows easily.

So glad to hear others say they avoid restaurants with their two year old. I thought we were the only ones!

Well if French parents are more strict with discipline I relate to that. I often find parents not telling their kids off if they are naughty here whereas if I go back to my parent's country (in Europe) they are more vocal with discipline and I am too! I find it works and keeps my little monsters under better control

Oh ffs - most parenting books advise not rushing to pick up a crying baby and also being consistent with discipline.

And any parenting book which encourages you to put your own needs first in regard to things like work/ bottlefeeding while leading you to think it's also good for your child is always going to get a big thumbs up from parents who want to do exactly these things.

Shagmund you are spot on. I think the needs of a small baby and what is best for them far outweighs the needs of the adult. Happy mum happy baby - that phrase is bollocks and used as an excuse a lot of the time for 'I can't be arsed'

I wrote a very long post last night which deleted itself. I totally agree. Putting your needs above those of the other family members is not the way to bring up happy, well rounded autonomous idividuals

Well, my son doesn't throw food, necessarily, in restaurants and tends to behave (at 2.8) but I think it hasn't nothing to do with my parenting and everything to do with loving food!

And he does throw food at home. A lot.

And I also highly recommend 'What Mothers do (Especially when it looks like nothing)'.

OP - The premise of the book is that, compared to French mums, Brit mums are crap at being parents and their children are yobbettes. With such a premise, you aren't going to get a civil discussion on the subject matter from the 'crap' mums (even though the book has some valid points)

Love it :)

shagmund - I have to go back to work. It's not so much a want (I would want to eventually, just not this early).

I bet I am not the only mother who has too. Perhaps anything that lets me and the thousands of others in that situation fell as little less guilty is no bad thing?

*feel a little less guilty, rather

Happy mum happy baby - that phrase is bollocks and used as an excuse a lot of the time for 'I can't be arsed'

As is rubbishing it by people who want to drown in bubbafluff.

Everything in moderation.

15 weeks!!!!! larf larf larf !!!!!

my newborn has excellent manners too , just like a little francais bebe in his petit bateau

Someone else totally missing the point