To really like the book "French Children Don't throw food"

[catgirl1976]

I am sure some of them do and the title is a bit (like French Women Don't Get Fat - I am sure lots do) - and I find the author annoying and think I would dislike her IRL, and I think the "French" attitude to BF is not righ......but these issues aside..........

I've just read this and I loved it. DS is 15 weeks now and I wish I had read it before he was born as I think I would have handled his sleep / waking differently.

He does sit nicely in restaurants though (smug).

It has got rid of my guilt about the fact I will be going back to work in 3 weeks and putting him in nursery and the fact that I combination feed. I love this book :)

It seems like relaxed, common sense, sensible parenting to me

Having attended a supposedly very good French secondary school as an exchange student it seems that their superior parenting creates rude, disrespectful teenagers.

Implying that a whole country of parents have all the right ideas is a very strange premise for a book, and not one that would induce me to read it. That said, if the advice has helped you then that can only be a positive thing.

I haven't read the book, or the whole thread in detail, but I am baffled. Do all French people parent exactly the same then? On any patenting forum or at any toddler group you will find breastfeeders and formula feeders by choice, BLW and purée feeders, AP and those who use controlled crying, working patents who use nurseries from three months and militant SAHMs. And plenty in between all those opposites.

Seriously, do the French not have access to all the parenting books we do? Or stuff online?

My goodness, I live somewhere where French school children visit every day and they appear much less well-mannered than British children. Ther are generally quite rude, arrogant and much more likely to throw food than British children. Just my experience.
However I like the sound of the 'pause'. I think modern parents do struggle with the concept of allowing children to self-settle.

Arf at 15 month old sitting nicely

Sorry 15 weeks.

DD didn't fuss in restaurants when she was very young either and how smug we felt until... we were all jet lagged and in a restaurant in San Francisco with friends. She was fussing alot and then angrily threw a carrot at our friend which hit him on the head . Not so smug after that, let me tell you

Perhaps I should write a book entitled "Irish children are so used to being ignored because they have 15 siblings that parenting is a breeze."

I really dislike most books on parenting, for some reason they REALLY offend me

I have however read why french women dont get fat.
eat less, move more, and lots and LOTS of stylishly tied scarves, and one excellent quality cashmere caridgan

and for your treat. one square of 70% chocolate! what a treat!

LOL cailan

And purely anecdotally, I watched a French family with two young boys at a restaurant while we were on holiday in Europe. The boys did indeed behave impeccably at the table, but they were clearly shit scared of their mum. They were more or less silent throughout the evening.

My son - who was three at the time, on the other hand, sat at the table, had a good attempt with his cutlery, entertained us with some
funny faces and staged a humorous pantomime of stealing Daddy's
food of his plate. On the way home he said "I really enjoyed that dinner out!"

Know what I'd rather see in my children.

Just to be clear, neither the OP nor the book have much to do with sitting nicely in restaurants. The "mine sits nicely comment" was a jokey comment as he is 15 weeks old, and as I said in another post, not able to much more than sit and be fascinated by tablecloths. So of course he does.

But that isn't what the book or the thread are about. My interest in the book is in the sleep stuff and the lack of guilt

My Dutch child does not throw food. She prefers to smush it into the tabletop/her hair/passing strangers trousers.

I get what you say about the guilt OP - coming from Ireland I find the general attitude to parenting in the UK a bit odd too. Perhaps it's just the family I come from (I have about 60 cousins, there is always a baby in the family) but the attitude I was brought up with was "feed them, cuddle them, make them safe, and when they're old enough boot them out on the street and tell them not to come back till dinner!" There is no agonising over stimulation or education, you just give them some fun things to look at, chat to them now and again and when the time comes you send them to the local school. My English friends have commented a lot on how relaxed I am but I don't see why I wouldn't be relaxed - DS is healthy and mostly happy so there's nothing to worry about.

Totally agree Calin - I am not sure all the flash cards, mandarin lessons and helicopter parenting are good for mother or child.

I did the pause at 4.30 this morning (didn't know it had a name 'til I read this). As other posters have said it was me lying in bed whisper-crying 'go back to sleep pleeeeease go back to sleep'. Unfortunately it didn't work and have now been up for 5 hours already. What am I doing wrong? How long should the pause be?

Irish too - I think the fact that pretty much any adult could put you in your place helped, although from what I see when I go home that has changed. Plus as you say there were always great crowds of kids so no one got precious.

Yeah I tried it too with similar success.......maybe if I had done it from birth it would work but I dont know. DS to seemed to laugh at me at 5am :)

Am also Irish, agree with Cailin - but think of all the agonsing we're missing out on :o

You lot must be living in a different Britain to me: I have no idea what a flashcard even looks like, have absolutely no difficulty dodging Mandarin classes in my neck of the woods, but I can see what a smack looks like any day on public transport (sounds less sophisticated in English though, doesn't it?). I assume you have to aspire to a certain income level to access the whole guilt ridden experience?

Who woke the Mummy Martyrhood beasts?! Come on, admit it!

Ha ha, yeah, I think I'd be more sympathetic at 4.30 am if dd needed cuddles or consoling, but I walk in the room and she stops crying and laughs her head off, body quivering and legs kicking with excitement 'yeah! I got you up!'

It's a good job she's so fucking cute, that's all I can say.

Right - got to go to work, leaving my tiny DS to become damaged :)

TeamEdward, I'm Welsh! [stern look]
But no, as a rule, we don't waste food.

FWIW, I think it's deeply depressing that a culture which places such a high value on food finds it acceptable to withhold from babies both fresh food and optimal nutrition for the first six months of their lives. For the sake of adult convenience.

Can you imagine the same arguments being used to justify feeding the elderly or infirm on a diet consisting entirely of non-fresh food?

Haven't read it and wasn't planning to, but now I think I will at least give it a look.

catgirl, I didn't think you were being seriously smug in your OP. For what it is worth, your DS might not automatically become a restaurant terror as he ages. DD is 21 months and still does very, very well in restaurants.... At home, though, not so much. Two nights ago she tipped her entire plate over her head. I'm not sure why she's so much better when we are out - more interesting? better grub? older siblings not always there to impress? unconscious response to our expectations? - but it is not down to Superior Parenting. More down to luck, I suspect. Or perhaps her French genes.