Am I being a complete geek or is my SIL being U?

[Ruudiluca]

Ok this is a bit embarrassing but I am a major fan of the Game of Thrones books by George RR Martin. I have all the books in the series in special edition, each book is about 30 quid a pop and they look like lovely old fashioned books. I am such a geek .

My 17yo nephew has started getting into the series ans my Dbro and SIL were round for dinner and my nephew saw the books and asked to borrow one to read. I was a bit apprehensive because I had saved up loads of money to buy them. SIL promised that she would ensure he would look after it and I was put in a position where if I said no I would look tight.

Anyway my SIL returned the book last week and it was a state. The hardback cover was all bashed up and the were stains on the pages and the front page had been ripped. I told her I was pissed off and she promised to replace it, ok fine.

However when I received the replacement it was just a bog standard book shop paper back. I said that this was the wrong one to SIL but she started having a go at me saying I was being precious and it is still the same book just different form. I text my Dbro tonight and he has agreed to replace the edition that I had. SIL has rung me up screaming down the phone saying how Dbro has said he will take the money out of nephew's pocket money and that I need to say to Dbro that I have changed my mind.

AIBU to just let Dbro take it out of nephew's pocket money or should I just forget it?

Erh no, it's replaced with one that is the same. You leant a book that he promised to look after, he's 17 not 4 and capable of taking care of it.

YANBU, dn needs to learn to respect other people's property. Glad your DB is teaching him a lesson,SIL sounds very PFB still!

Your db should definitely replace it with dn's money!! You did tell them to be careful with it and it came back in a shocking state. Tell dsil to sod off. Yanbu.

I'd let this one go tbh

It will damage your relationship with your nephew

Just remember not to lend them in future

Next time, just look tight. I have certain books I never lend.

And YANBU. They need to replace what they ruined and your nephew should pay for it.

Yadnbu

YANBU. What are the books about? I am a nerd, too. :)

I never lend anything. When I did lend books, I didn't get them back most of the time.

It's just my nephew gets £10 a week pocket money so I am a bit at the thought of him not having any money for 3 weeks. But then my SIL said she would ensure it was looked after so I think I do deserve another copy, maybe she should pay for it and make nephew do chores up to the amount of the book??

I think it's a bit bad to be dealing with SiL over it, and then, because you didn't like her response, to switch to your brother. That would annoy me if I were the SiL, however what your brother has said is absolutely right - the ds is old enough to know these were precious to you, and you needed it to be looked after, indeed, he was there when you talked about it, so he should give you the money to replace it / replace it out of his money.

YADNBU. And it sounds like your SIL needs a lesson alongside her son!

HeidiHole it is a cross between lord of the rings and the sopranos haha. They are amazing books. Here is the link to the wiki en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Game_of_Thrones

Yanbu but I would have made the point clear about them being expensive special editions in advance as it may have put nephew off borrowing or incentivised him to take more care or at least prepared him for the expensive replacement.

As it is you should def get a like for like replacement from the person that borrowed the book.

YANBU. Books are precious to me and if one of mine got ruined, I'd expect an exact replacement - whether it was a third ed. paperback, hardback or first ed. special.

I want to know what they're about too. I need something new to read

YADNBU.

Books should be treated as the owner would treat them and damaged books should be replaced like for like. Your nephew failed to adhere to that, so yes, he should have his pocket money docked and you should never, ever, even under pain of death lend him one of your books again.

I am very picky about who I loan books to, and anyone who fails to treat my treasured books with the required reverence will never get a second chance. Definitely a one strike an you're out situation.

Ah, xposts!

I really didn't want to lend the book out but everyone kept going on about it. Even DH put his two cents in by saying "He is an adult now I am sure he will take good care of it." So I was put in a position, grrr.

I am so at a 17yo getting "pocket money"... and no, you are not being unreasonable at all!

No you are definitely not being unreasonable, your SIL is out of order, ofcourse your nephew should replace the book with the same hardback you gave him or replace it with his own money. Your SIL should grow up and maybe if she started treating others with respect then maybe her son may also learn to treat others, and their possessions, with respect.

Stetsons

Glad I'm not the only one. :)

YANBU at all. If SIL is bothered about nephew having no money for 3 weeks she could pay half since she promised it wouldbe looked after.

And she was seriously taking the piss buying a paperback to replace it.

YANBU.

If anyone rang me up and started screaming down the phone at me I would put the phone down pronto.

Just a thought, but did your dn realise that it was a special addition when he borrowed it? - perhaps your sil and nephew don't understand that aspect of your books?

By the way, I would have been cross too. Just started on book 5 so way to go yet - also the dvd is out

He's 17 and still gets pocket money? I was fricking earning my own money at that age. Anyway not the point. Yanbu. He should have looked after it so now he needs to pay.

Did you know that the TV series is out on DVD from Amazon? Ds has the entire series in paperback, apart from the last one, but wanted the DVDs to go with it.

Am abroad, so couldn't get it on Sky, and wouldn't have Sky anyway.