Am I being a complete geek or is my SIL being U?

[Ruudiluca]

Ok this is a bit embarrassing but I am a major fan of the Game of Thrones books by George RR Martin. I have all the books in the series in special edition, each book is about 30 quid a pop and they look like lovely old fashioned books. I am such a geek .

My 17yo nephew has started getting into the series ans my Dbro and SIL were round for dinner and my nephew saw the books and asked to borrow one to read. I was a bit apprehensive because I had saved up loads of money to buy them. SIL promised that she would ensure he would look after it and I was put in a position where if I said no I would look tight.

Anyway my SIL returned the book last week and it was a state. The hardback cover was all bashed up and the were stains on the pages and the front page had been ripped. I told her I was pissed off and she promised to replace it, ok fine.

However when I received the replacement it was just a bog standard book shop paper back. I said that this was the wrong one to SIL but she started having a go at me saying I was being precious and it is still the same book just different form. I text my Dbro tonight and he has agreed to replace the edition that I had. SIL has rung me up screaming down the phone saying how Dbro has said he will take the money out of nephew's pocket money and that I need to say to Dbro that I have changed my mind.

AIBU to just let Dbro take it out of nephew's pocket money or should I just forget it?

Can you continue to ignore D-SIL, and make a longer but lower-price payment plan directly with your nephew? Or even tell her directly that as DN borrowed and then damaged the book, you will only speak with HIM about the matter, and that she should take her beak out of it?

LOL I would be tempted to text back "I don't respond to tantrums"

My eldest daughter is a book nerd she lent her sister a harback and sister got sticky fingers on it eldest went spare , as she had looked after it for years , YANBU just dont lent them again

YADNBU! I love books and I love my kindle too!!

I would expect an exact replacement.

I must say I love the Game of Thrones series too, can't wait for the next one to come out but there is no release date yet. I think its going to be called the Winds of Winter, and one last one will be Dreams of Spring.

I can recommend a trilogy I've just finished called the Hunger Games trilogy - I really enjoyed them.

Your SIL is a nutcase.

This is why I don't lend anyone other than my mother any of my books, and why I never ask to borrow them from anywhere but the library. Because, as many people have already said, books are precious (that was one of the first full sentences DS said when he learned to talk He's nearly three now and still quoting it.)

The whole situation would upset me very much. She pressured you into lending him the book in the first place, she promised you he would take care of it, she agreed to replace it but behaved like a tight-arsed cow and bought a cheap copy that doesn't go with the set her son had spoilt, realised she had been caught out as a cheapskate and is now falling out with the entire family because your brother wants to do the decent thing and properly replace the book their son spoilt. Which will teach him a lesson about taking care of other peoples belongings by having him pay for it from his pocket money, which he's too old to be getting anyway because he's practically an adult and everyone else here on this thread was sold into child labour at an early age (myself included) for our pocket money.

Now she's sending you abusive texts blaming you and your mother for the breakdown of her marriage and swearing at you in front of the staff at your children's school?

She is, as DS would say, out of her rocker (or off her tree).

YANBU. But I am the woman who, at 28, flat out refused to let her 7 year old niece borrow a book of Shel Silverstein poetry because she would ruin it. She cried. I made a child cry and still wouldn't lend her the book . But in my defence, I had taken care of that book for over 22 years and she would have ruined it. I bought her her own copy but until it came she was still banned from touching mine. Books are precious.

Oh, and I'm 37 now and still wouldn't lend her it if she wanted it, which she won't because she's 16 now. If I've read something but don't want to keep it, I will give it away. If I want to read it again I will keep it, recommend it, suggest they find it in the library or buy their own copy for a birthday or christmas gift. But I don't lend books in the same way Joey doesn't share food

And that should be I will buy them their own copy for a birthday...

I'm blaming the stress of your damaged book and nutty SIL for my inability to make myself clear.

A very good friend of mine has an illustrated hardback edition of the LOTR trilogy. She lent it to then 12 yo DS. My, but he was careful with it.

fuck all to do with being a geek or not. you lent them something, they knew you were apprehensive that it would get damaged. It got damaged. I'm shocked that a sibling would try and rip you off like that

Why aren't you dealing directly with your nephew? He's 17, not a child.

I am reading my sisters hard backed copy of the last game of thrones book at the moment. I love it. I am being very careful with it. It is falling apart as I read! :( The spine is breaking.
If you want to books to look good, don't lend them to ANYONE... EVER!

FWIW I do think they should replace like for like, if asked.