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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being a complete geek or is my SIL being U?

111 replies

Ruudiluca · 07/03/2012 20:42

Ok this is a bit embarrassing but I am a major fan of the Game of Thrones books by George RR Martin. I have all the books in the series in special edition, each book is about 30 quid a pop and they look like lovely old fashioned books. I am such a geek Blush .

My 17yo nephew has started getting into the series ans my Dbro and SIL were round for dinner and my nephew saw the books and asked to borrow one to read. I was a bit apprehensive because I had saved up loads of money to buy them. SIL promised that she would ensure he would look after it and I was put in a position where if I said no I would look tight.

Anyway my SIL returned the book last week and it was a state. The hardback cover was all bashed up and the were stains on the pages and the front page had been ripped. I told her I was pissed off and she promised to replace it, ok fine.

However when I received the replacement it was just a bog standard book shop paper back. I said that this was the wrong one to SIL but she started having a go at me saying I was being precious and it is still the same book just different form. I text my Dbro tonight and he has agreed to replace the edition that I had. SIL has rung me up screaming down the phone saying how Dbro has said he will take the money out of nephew's pocket money and that I need to say to Dbro that I have changed my mind.

AIBU to just let Dbro take it out of nephew's pocket money or should I just forget it?

OP posts:
SpectacularChoice · 07/03/2012 20:56

Children need to learn to respect others property, it should have been returned in the condition it was lent in. I never lend books and I don't buy special editions. Just hardbacks that I keep and that look new. Get it replaced, or suffer the loss and replace it yourself but never lend anything ever again.

Original poster
Ruudiluca · 07/03/2012 20:58

FriedSprout they did know that they were expensive and special to me. DH bought me the last one for christmas and Dbro asked me about it when they came over for xmas dinner and even commented on the price of it....he is more of an xbox man Grin

OP posts:
freelancescientist · 07/03/2012 20:58

YADDNBU. Post this in Adult Fiction too if you want lots of other people to feel your pain.
I'm sorry for your loss.

fatherchewylouis · 07/03/2012 20:59

Well if they knew they were expensive special editions and then treated them like that andrelced with crappy paperback they are a pair of twats!

Original poster
Ruudiluca · 07/03/2012 21:00

scaryteacher yeah it arrived this morning in the post Grin. They do show it on a channel on sky and virgin I think it is Atlantic something or other?

OP posts:
BellaCB · 07/03/2012 21:00

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable! Its not about replacing the text of the book, its about replacing something worth £30 that your nephew borrowed and then trashed. Stick to your guns. He's 17, he's more than old enough to know how to look after someone else's property.

SconeInSixtySeconds · 07/03/2012 21:00

This is a young man - not a child! if his mother could buy you a paperback replacement she could buy him one in the first bloody place.

YANBU - definitely a proper replacement is required.

DaisyAndConfused · 07/03/2012 21:00

YANBU.

I hide my special books away so that no one can even ask me to borrow them. This situation has happened to me too many times so I have learned the hard way.

If I want to share a book with someone I buy them their own paperback second hand off Amazon copy.

17 is old enough to understand he's done something wrong and there should be consequences.

Your SiL needs to calm the fuck down.

Winkly · 07/03/2012 21:02

YANBU, reading about that made my blood boil.

Replacing your beautiful hardback with a shitty paperback is like smashing someone's 50 inch LCD telly and replacing with with an old portable and being surprised they're cross because you can watch the same telly programmes.

He's 17, time he learned some responsibility. You made it clear it was something precious.

Am furious on your behalf.

alicethehorse · 07/03/2012 21:03

Although YANBU to be very annoyed about this, if you don't have the support of SIL you will probably be seen as the bad guy.

In your position I would probably let it go for the sake of my relationship with the nephew.

Or could you say to him, "I feel you owe me one for this, but I really don't want to see you go without money for three weeks." and then come up with an alternative way he can pay you back - can he help you out with something? Or could you agree he owes you a nice meal (or expensive book) once he is working?

eleda · 07/03/2012 21:03

I'd be telling my SIL that if she hadn't been such a tight arsed bitch and had kept to the promise SHE had made in the first place and replaced like for like I wouldn't have had to go to my DB. How she or her son pays for it is irrelevant. If your DB decides that it should come out of his sons pocket money that is between him and his wife and son. Perhaps your nephew should get a Saturday job and then he wouldn't be without cash for 3 weeks!

Eggrules · 07/03/2012 21:05

If you are a geek, I am too. I have sets of hardback books and would be peed off to have an odd one in the set. You should have a like for like replacement. The consequences to your nephew are not in your control.

Read all of GOT on my Kindle and I loved them. I am a name changer, was TyrionLovingYourWork for a while.

Original poster
Ruudiluca · 07/03/2012 21:07

This is the Link edition of the books that i am talking about if anyone is interested in having a gander.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 07/03/2012 21:09

Yanbu

Sil is a twat.

Original poster
Ruudiluca · 07/03/2012 21:09

Eggrules, I love Tyrion. Can you imagine some of the answers he would give on AIBU Grin.

OP posts:
Adversecamber · 07/03/2012 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzpig · 07/03/2012 21:13

Wow that edition is gorgeous. I haven't read those books (got book 1 on my kindle) but my heart fluttered a bit when looking at your link!

YANBU.

And I don't know why SIL has so much involvement in this, surely DN as a 17yo should be taking responsibility for this from start to finish?

He could've borrowed it from the library anyway.

FlossieTeacakeShouldFakeIt · 07/03/2012 21:14

Your dbro has the right idea, YANBU.

Original poster
Ruudiluca · 07/03/2012 21:15

Oh God I have literally just got an arsey text from SIL saying "Thanks to you I have just had a row with your brother. Children are starving in Africa, you need to get your priorities straight before you whinge about a book!" Angry

OP posts:
freelancescientist · 07/03/2012 21:19

Oh dear. She really has no idea, has she.

So, kids ARE starving in Africa, but her son still RUINED SOMETHING REALLY PRECIOUS AND SPECIAL TO YOU.....I'm fuming on your behalf.

DaisyAndConfused · 07/03/2012 21:20

Can't you just text her back a link to this thread?

maddening · 07/03/2012 21:21

yanbu and would expect apology from sil for her disgusting behaviour (ringing up and screaming ) no wonder dn has no respect for your property!

ENormaSnob · 07/03/2012 21:22

I would be texting an equally arsey text back.

Honestly, she sounds a right tit.

Original poster
Ruudiluca · 07/03/2012 21:22

DaisyAndConfused I wish I had the balls to!

OP posts:
maddening · 07/03/2012 21:23

well next month she can take money out of dn pocket money to send to aftrica, I don't know how you're staying calm!!

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