Don't flame me for starting another BF debate but is BF after age of 2 more about comfort than nutrition?

[doradaisy]

Work colleague admitted today that she still BF her almost 4 year old, she did so with all her DC up to age of about 4. Another more blunt friend replied with 'come off it, for god's sake that's mad' kind of thing. Said BFing work collegue went on a rant about how WHO recommend up to age of 2 and beyond and how she could count with one hand the number of times her children have been on antibiotics, and how cow's milk is SO bad for children and really unnatural, etc, etc and the comment (which annoyed me a bit) that 'her children could not turn around in years to come and blame her for bad health'... We were all a bit silenced and she looked relaly embarrassed.

I piped up that I thought WHO recommended til 6 months, as I did for my PFB DD. I also mentioned my DTwins, 18 months, only got BF for 6 weeks (as pediatrics recommened formula due to jaundice, etc) and have never been on antibiotic

Am just a bit put out at the ranting and her seriously defensive tone and her total moral high ground about it all. I said, in a measured tone, that if she'd decided to BF for so long it was more about 'comfort and less about nutrition'. Am I fair?

I get on quite well with her, but feel like she was fighting a losing battle to convince us. I can see she's doing the right thing but also said 'she knows it's not our cultural norm' - sounds like she's trying to be a bit controversial, no?

Each to their own of course, but why was she being so defensive?!

(goes to hide under a table and wait for the fighting to start )

Yes, in a nice cup.
My almost 5yo would still be feeding now if I'd managed it :( I stopped because I was tired and bedtime, feeding 2, was taking hours. Wish I had been able to let him self wean though

If this conversation happened in a park, or someone's house or whatever, that would be one thing. But this conversation happened at work! Isn't it illegal to discriminate against breastfeeding mothers in the workplace? So isn't somebody calling somebody breastfeeding a bit mad being very inappropriate? Isn't it rather similar to making a racist remark, or calling religious people 'nutters' in the workplace?

If people want to make these remarks, there may be a time and a place, but it certainly isn't at work. You should be abiding by the law, not sticking up for some colleague making rude remarks. Regardless of anything else, the woman did have the moral high ground, because she was having to respond to highly critical personal remarks at work that have nothing to do with her job. At the least, you have all been very rude to this woman, whether she breast feeds or bottle feeds is rather secondary to that.

I think next time someone bashes me for breastfeeding my two year old I'm going to say that it says I should in the Quran and hope that scares them off pushing it

Well op I think you should apologise for 'piping' up about the WHI guidelines that you knew/know nothing about

I bf my daughter still and she is over 2 - her choice. People always find it acceptable to tell me she is too old for breast milk and why not just give het cow's milk

There is definitely an element of comfort but I also see around me that breastfed babies are not the ones getting ill etc. The babies/toddlers I know with the worst infections/coughs/eczema etc are not the breastfed ones.

The majority of babies admitted to hospital with problems such as gastroenteritis are ff too.

WHO not WHI!

thats where my family like to be different, we get our fair share of the vomiting and runny noses :) Maybe my milk has turned to water

As none of you were clearly working couldn't one of you googled?
That would also mean you didn't have to come home and start the whole buggering mess again on here.

when you have a child who has fallen, is distrerssed and crying and you have something that will comfort them instantly it is wonderful. why is comforrting a child so dismissed?

Honeydragon I am now going to become your Official Stalker.

I'm feeding a 2 year old and it's sod all for my benefit, I can tell you! Can't wait for him to self wean. (aside of course from the reduced cancer risks, and the lower risk of osteoporosis as the bone density sets differently with prolonged BF)

Baroness oooooh lovely companies always nice.

Okay I'll bite OP.

I breastfed first one til 2.3 yrs because I could. I thought she would give it up of her own accord: nope. Or that the milk would dry up when i went back to work full-time (after a year) without expressing: nope.
So it seemed a shame to waste it.

I am breastfeeding this one (now 15mths) until one of the following happens:
She decides she prefers juice/tea/cows' milk (gets all three btw)
The milk dries up
Someone takes her off to do cold turkey
my boobs fall off

Seriously I guess I will feed her til pre-school or one of the above.
I am not going to flame you though as I am the first to admit I bf when:

my child has a sunken fontanelle/won't take water
my child is sick
my child has fallen over
my child is receiving a vaccination
my child is tetchy
my child is sleepy
my child is on a plane, coach etc

all the bloody time then

It IS handy. It is free, quick, easyish and I am lazy
I take vitamins when i remember and so guess she gets nutrients and anti-bodies still.

Would not dream of making out my child will be better off health-wise long-term though developmentally or physically as

i was formula fed and am right clever, me
nieces fed 6 months by my ds and are very bright, not as sick as mine
mine have no allergies but were both fairly fluey all the time
my milk lacks vit D and less iron as fortified so am giving vit D tablets
both my kids are...big-boned (BF meant to help against obesity but not in my case must be the choc, ice-cream, happy meal, coke habits

Bottom line If you don't judge me for bf past 6 months I won't judge you for
not having done.

Less iron than

What's wrong with comfort feeding?

I think it is strange not to breast feed at all, unless you can't which is a different issue, when the health benefits are so clearly flagged up these days. I do think it is almost an odd perverted cultural taboo left over from the 60s and 70s when formula become fashionable.
I can't pretend that I don't have some sort of judgement of people that get funny about breast feeding beyond what they deem acceptable- I assume they are somehow ill educated or have had that narrow minded attitude put into them from their upbringing.
I realise some cannot breastfeed, which is a great shame but not the end of the world as we do have a v good substitute but no one pretends it is equal unless they are in denial- of course that is just because b milk is so amazing no synthetic substitute can compete however good it is and however much it does the job of providing more than adequate nutrition.It is all the other benefits of B milk that make it something health professionals are so keen to promote.
It sounds like the op just has an opinion on when you should stop b feeding...again your cultural bias perhaps from your upbringing.

Misssic - perfect post!

Sounds like you pushed her into a corner in a massively rude way and she, not surprisingly, came out fighting.

This debate astonishes me really. Apply what you have said to other scenarios. Would you still feel entitled to criticise and opine about other aspects of people's lives that are frankly none of your business? Think about it.

There is no other bodily function that is so judged and maligned as extended bf. Her choice, her child. Your job to butt out.

Is there a nutritional value to ciw's milk after age 2?

Why can you so easily accept that milk from a farm animal has more nutritional benefits than milk from a human?

Cow's milk

Oh, and do you think 2, 3, 4 year olds don't deserve "comfort" from their mummy?

IMO a woman should be allowed to bf for a long as she likes, what I do disagree with is all the incorrect fundamentalist crap that is spouted to justify it, eg these are "real women", that you are putting a child seriously at risk by not bf to 2 yo etc etc.

The biology is basic - when 100% of the calories are from milk (up to about 6 mo) and the Childs immune system is rudimentary, the benefits are at their highest. Once they take solid foods the importance declines as the % of calories declines, and their own immune systems develop. By 2 yo the % of calories from any bf is a small% of total and they have their own immune systems. Most humans have adapted genetically to drink cows milk, so it's a perfectly good source of calories once their systems can take it.

The WHO 2 year thing is mainly aimed at developing countries where sanitation and food quality are not givens, especially for water, so bf is especially recommended.

YABU. and your colleague. Obviously.

Shes doing what she sees best for her child. You were both rude to judge her and I don't think she should of been embarrassed at all, by the fact that shes still breast feeding or by anything she said.

I do think its odd that we live in a culture were its 'normal' to give a young child cows milk instead of milk that's naturally designed for them.

Do I think I'd breast feed till 4? I'm not sure, but I didn't think I'd make it till one.

And I hate all this rubbish about it being for the mothers needs. Absolute bullshit

Someone asked whether other mammals fed their babies as long as humans sometimes do.
IIRC, primates feed for approx. 6 times the length of gestation.
For the great apes (orang-utans, chimps, bonobos etc. this is at least 4 years, sometimes up to 6.

WMW, the WHO guidelines are not aimed mainly at developing countries. They have said that it applies just as much to developed ones. I thought this was because of things like asthma which are so more common in developed countries, but I can't remember their statement on it.

If you are going to contradict WHO health guidelines and tell people they don't really apply to them, shouldn't you be providing a statement from the WHO to back this up?