Don't flame me for starting another BF debate but is BF after age of 2 more about comfort than nutrition?

[doradaisy]

Work colleague admitted today that she still BF her almost 4 year old, she did so with all her DC up to age of about 4. Another more blunt friend replied with 'come off it, for god's sake that's mad' kind of thing. Said BFing work collegue went on a rant about how WHO recommend up to age of 2 and beyond and how she could count with one hand the number of times her children have been on antibiotics, and how cow's milk is SO bad for children and really unnatural, etc, etc and the comment (which annoyed me a bit) that 'her children could not turn around in years to come and blame her for bad health'... We were all a bit silenced and she looked relaly embarrassed.

I piped up that I thought WHO recommended til 6 months, as I did for my PFB DD. I also mentioned my DTwins, 18 months, only got BF for 6 weeks (as pediatrics recommened formula due to jaundice, etc) and have never been on antibiotic

Am just a bit put out at the ranting and her seriously defensive tone and her total moral high ground about it all. I said, in a measured tone, that if she'd decided to BF for so long it was more about 'comfort and less about nutrition'. Am I fair?

I get on quite well with her, but feel like she was fighting a losing battle to convince us. I can see she's doing the right thing but also said 'she knows it's not our cultural norm' - sounds like she's trying to be a bit controversial, no?

Each to their own of course, but why was she being so defensive?!

(goes to hide under a table and wait for the fighting to start )

There's a BF/FF thread for a reason.
Basically it means that if that's what you want to discuss, post it there.
MN is doing my head in tonight, fuck, I'm grumpy.

OH so tired

I agree with batcave - shame on you OP for not defending her choices as a mum whether you did the same or not. She doesn't need a hard time at work when she's trying to do her best - and she is trying to do her best I'm sure.

Flossie- a mother may genuinely bf a child beyond two years for the child's desire for comfort rather than the mother's.

Why was she being so defensive?!

Come on...! Because she was being attacked by ALL of you! What did you expect?

• WHO recommends BFing exclusively until 6 months, at which point solids are introduced, and then continuing until at least 2 years. Hardly anyone does this. Especially in the UK, where breastfeeding rates are amongst the lowest in the world.

• If you think cow's milk has nutritional value beyond 2 years, then surely human milk has even more so.

Leave the poor woman and her breasts alone to do what she sees fit for her children. Oh, and apologise if you if think that any of us on this tread have made some even half-way good points.

who the fuck are WHO anyway...

your breasts are MADE to breastfeed until 6 years old. Like they do in tribes, where women are REAL women..

what do you care anyway and why is it weird to feed later than 2 years? surely your child will determine what age THEY want to stop feeding at and not YOU? what do you think our breasts are for!

Of course there is nutritional value. But so what even if it is for comfort? You still give your children cuddles right? Theyre just for comfort.

World health organisation, and why untill 6? Who decided that was the magic age.

So your only a REAL women if you bf till 6? Are you having a laugh

at Real women, here have a hard hat and some flame proof trousers.

Your comment is just as poor form as the OP.

I never understand why people say 'you're doing it for comfort' like it's a bad thing.

Nutritional value AND stops tantrums, soothes pain, provides comfort in scary situations, and is just generally a wonderful way to connect to my toddler? Why would anyone have a problem with that?

The average weaning age in the world is 4.5 years (google Kathy Dettwyler). Once the adult teeth come in, the jaw changes shape so that the physical movement required for milk extraction becomes impossible.

At 3 years or something 6ml of breastmilk can still contain between 6-8 million cells, many of these stemcells, t-cells, and other useful things that combat illnesses and fix the child's body.

As for teeth - they are not an issue.

Check out Dispelling Breastfeeding Myths, the blog or the facebook page. Sounds like some of you could do with some proper information.

I bf ds until he was over 3yo and he had constant ear infections from 3 months old until grommets went in. After about 2yo I would partually agree it was for comfort, as I would have encouraged him to stop at one point, but his grommets came out and bf was the only thing that comforted him during an infection.

The only one who could have done with bf for nutrition was dd2 who hardly ate anything, but also chose to give up bf when she was about 2.6yo.

4.2 is an average age of self-weaning, not an average world weaning age.

The average weaning age in the world is 4.5 years (google Kathy Dettwyler). Once the adult teeth come in, the jaw changes shape so that the physical movement required for milk extraction becomes impossible.

Dettwyler was debunked some time ago, the WHO recommend 2 years bf for developing countries where nutrition, sanitation etc are suspect, and the % of nutrition from breast milk as a % of all nutrition at 2 years old is pretty small.

Thems the facts

But, it should still be the right of any woman to bf as long as she damn well likes without others going all judgeypants.

Children are "designed" to self wean between 2 1/2 and 7.
If some mothers choose to allow their child to feed until they are ready to stop, they should not have to face criticism.

As mothers/parents, we make many decisions for our dc, they are our decisions to make. I have no idea what it is about Breastfeeding that makes other people think they have a right to have an opinion on how a child is fed. It's bizarre.

I meant they are real women because they put their children first, not there own interests and need for satisfaction. i should of worded my reply better but i was fuelled with disgust and anger and as a new bf mother im sick to death of defending something that is just NATURAL. (im at that stage) i guess its okay to carry on drinking cows milk till the day you die though. ohhhhhh..
but i mean who and what do the who know? i mean how can anyone determine such a thing, 2 years in england and 4 in europe! most women in the uk barely make it past 6 weeks and i know people who bf for 4 days and think they have DONE ENOUGH to ensure the baby has got enough from the milk its absolutely insane! so this poor women whos being bullied by you at work whos doing what most mothers couldnt do if you paid them in uk, shes my hero, hero of the day. I do apologise for my outlandish statements above, i just went on netmums and was angry... ha

dora you seem very sheltered so this may come a shock you don't have to EVER drink cows milk many people chose not to take milk from another mamal.

I really do find it odd that you (and pretty much most of our nation tbf) would question a woman feeding her own small child with her own natural milk and feel instead it should be taking the milk a cow makes to feed her own babies. That to me is far more unnatural than extended breast feeding, for whatever reasons.

I fed DS1 for the designated 6 months but wished I had for longer. I fed DS2 for about 14 months and was happy with my decision to stop.

So I am not an extended bf evangelist.

However - as an adult, I would admit that a lot of the food I consume is for comfort rather than nutrition. I've just helped myself to a hot cross bun which hasn't done me much good and might now go and make myself a hot chocolate.

So let's not pretend that nutrition is our only justification for feeding, whether it be bf, ff or actual food.

The WHO's recommendation is worldwide, not just aimed at developing countries.
AFAIK, there is evidence (but am on iPod so can't actually link to that evidence) that as long as a child breastfeeds, it is less likely to be admitted to hospital as a result of illness. Breastmilk contains antibodies whether it is in Africa or the UK, and whether the child is 4 months old or 4 years old.

WHO recommends 2 years. She is correct.

I know lots of Mums who give a lovely cuddly morning and evening breast feed at two and three years old. I can't see the problem and yes, past two it probably is a mixture of comfort and drink but who cares.

Anyway, cows milk isn't what it's cracked up to be that great anyway is it?! Sheeps milk and goats milk is more digestable protein wise.

Why is it unnatural to drink cows milk? Are you suggesting I express milk for my tea? Adults like milk too you know. We've been drinking cows milk for a long time. Bloody hell, we eat the rest of the animal and use whatever's left, why the hell shouldn't we drink the milk?

And may I ask, are we the only mammal in the entire animal kingdom that continues to breastfeed our young when they are well past being able to feed themselves?

MrsJason. No I'm suggesting that it's time for you to wean, we are the only mammals that continue to drink milk past childhood.

WHO recommends at least 2 years

Yes, balanced diet important, but your child doesn't need to eat carrots so why do you give them to him?

Just so sad that anyone who carries on BF feels they have to justify themselves.

Some DCs choose to carry on BFing, some are lucky enough to have mums who are willing to let them.

Whether such children do it for nutrition and/or comfort is neither here nor there.

I'm sure for DD2 it was a bit of both. She's always puts on a very confident act for the outside world, but still really liked to know that she was my baby and she's a total madam about food.

Yeah, imagine children looking to their mothers to provide comfort! What the fuck is that about eh? It's hardly a legitimate need is it?!

If they actually want nourished then obviously the milk of another animal would be better and much less creepy.