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AIBU?

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Original poster

Don't flame me for starting another BF debate but is BF after age of 2 more about comfort than nutrition?

195 replies

doradaisy · 07/03/2012 19:54

Work colleague admitted today that she still BF her almost 4 year old, she did so with all her DC up to age of about 4. Another more blunt friend replied with 'come off it, for god's sake that's mad' kind of thing. Said BFing work collegue went on a rant about how WHO recommend up to age of 2 and beyond and how she could count with one hand the number of times her children have been on antibiotics, and how cow's milk is SO bad for children and really unnatural, etc, etc and the comment (which annoyed me a bit) that 'her children could not turn around in years to come and blame her for bad health'... We were all a bit silenced and she looked relaly embarrassed.

I piped up that I thought WHO recommended til 6 months, as I did for my PFB DD. I also mentioned my DTwins, 18 months, only got BF for 6 weeks (as pediatrics recommened formula due to jaundice, etc) and have never been on antibiotic Grin

Am just a bit put out at the ranting and her seriously defensive tone and her total moral high ground about it all. I said, in a measured tone, that if she'd decided to BF for so long it was more about 'comfort and less about nutrition'. Am I fair?

I get on quite well with her, but feel like she was fighting a losing battle to convince us. I can see she's doing the right thing but also said 'she knows it's not our cultural norm' - sounds like she's trying to be a bit controversial, no?

Each to their own of course, but why was she being so defensive?!

(goes to hide under a table and wait for the fighting to start Grin)

OP posts:
pjmama · 07/03/2012 19:57

'come off it, for god's sake that's mad'

Sounds like she was defending herself, which really she didn't need to do as it's nobody else's business. And WHO recommend 2 years btw.

ommmward · 07/03/2012 19:58
Biscuit
McHappyPants2012 · 07/03/2012 20:00

www.who.int/features/factfiles/breastfeeding/facts/en/

2 years :)

ragingmull · 07/03/2012 20:00

WHO recommend 6 months as the very MINIUM age you should feed to.

It sounds like she was annoyed at being harassed about something she chooses to do with HER child.

Get over it.

spartafc · 07/03/2012 20:01

I believe the WHO recommend exclusive bf'ing to 6 months, and bf'ing, non exclusively, to a minimum of 2 years.
I've not carried out any research in this area, but I assume the WHO have, or at least know someone who has Grin.
Why did your colleague feel she had to convince you anyway?
I am bf'ing a past 2 year old (not at the moment, he's in bed now) and it's not to be controversial. To be controversial I would, of course, feed him Gregg's sausage rolls and fruit shoots Grin.
FWIW, I have felt defensive about bf'ing my son at this age in the past, mainly when I've felt like I'm being judged.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 07/03/2012 20:01

why not ask in the relevant section of MN?

There is a WHOLE TOPIC devoted to BF and FF, how amazing is that

HTH

Memoo · 07/03/2012 20:03

I never get why people think its weird to give a child breast milk and yet they think it's perfectly normal to give them milk from a cow. It's really twisted.

LemonDifficult · 07/03/2012 20:04

She's talking about health because she feels she has to for whatever reason. I don't know many children who've been on antibiotics much, that's pretty irrelevant. The whole, sly, 'you must be making your children ill if you don't breastfeed til X' would have irritated me but, since it won't be true, just let it go.

Triggles · 07/03/2012 20:05

It sounds like SHE is trying to be a bit controversial?!?!?!

And you aren't? Hmm

If you genuinely had a question regarding BF, you wouldn't come to AIBU for the answer. Biscuit

Original poster
doradaisy · 07/03/2012 20:05

On reflection, I DO think she was forced to defend her position as other friend was being shoocked about her choices.

Probably wasn't very concise on my OP about direction question - is there a nutritional value to BF after 2 years, am assuming there is, will check out WHO website

OP posts:
deleting · 07/03/2012 20:05

I would say it probably is more about comfort at that age generally, but what's wrong with that? I'm still bfing ds3 and he's 3 in june. it's definitely just a habit for us, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. he doesn't need it for nutrition really. having said that he's been ill with a virus and had flu and it was the only thing he was interested in, so in that case it was both. She was probably being defensive because you all seemed to be criticising her and is it really something you had to 'admit' to?!

mrsscoob · 07/03/2012 20:06

Its 2 and she probably went on a rant as she is so used to people judging her and making snide comments. Good for her I say.

troisgarcons · 07/03/2012 20:07

slumps

puds11 · 07/03/2012 20:07

WHO recommend 2 years, but have also said progressing beyond this point as many other countries do, is very beneficail to your child.

mrsscoob · 07/03/2012 20:07

Are you going to tell her tomorrow that you were wrong?

MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren · 07/03/2012 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

deleting · 07/03/2012 20:08

why would there not be nutritional value after 2 years?

RitaMorgan · 07/03/2012 20:08

Of course there is a nutritional value to milk - what a stupid question Confused

Do you think it becomes dust and air after 6 months?

suburbophobe · 07/03/2012 20:08

Breast feeding is a very personal thing.

I did it for just over a year - had to stop as I was getting dangerously too thin.

No-body's business how long someone else does it. People always - and WILL always - have an opinion...

Hey Boys... so many topics on Mumsnet, don't get down on someone for NOT FINDING THE RIGHT ONE and opening their own... we're not at school now... Grin

quickhide · 07/03/2012 20:08

Sounds like she was defensive because she felt under attack! If you've only just found out and her DC is 4yo it doesn't sound like she normally goes around shouting about it.

Fwiw I'm still BF my 2yo- not for any particular reason other than she never stopped and I see no reason to force the issue. Her kids, her boobs, her business!

quickhide · 07/03/2012 20:08

Sounds like she was defensive because she felt under attack! If you've only just found out and her DC is 4yo it doesn't sound like she normally goes around shouting about it.

Fwiw I'm still BF my 2yo- not for any particular reason other than she never stopped and I see no reason to force the issue. Her kids, her boobs, her business!

puds11 · 07/03/2012 20:08

yeah cows milk isnt exactly great for anyone thats why people have lactose intolerance

FlossieTeacakeShouldFakeIt · 07/03/2012 20:09

She is right that WHO recommend up to two years, but then they have to think about areas where children starve to death and die from a lack of clean drinking water, so I think that's a fairly flimsy argument.

Personally I think it's strange to bf for that long and I suspect it is much more about the Mothers need rather than the child's. I bf for 10 months each and I do believe it has contributed to my dc's good health, but bfing a child that could walk up to me and undo a maternity bra himself would have seemed creepy to me.

Gargula · 07/03/2012 20:10

I FF one of my children and BF the other for 1 year - so i really have no axe to grind, but seriously, what the fuck do you care?
We are, thankfully, in a position of real freedom to choose how we feed, and how we comfort our children, and I think YABU to judge her choices.

StealthPolarBear · 07/03/2012 20:10

No no n
Who applies to the world. Clues in the name