To think all men are basically pervs?

[mrsluvvaluvva]

Hi there

Felt compelled to ask this as just lately I have really been seeing men in a different light when in social settings. Perhaps I am just getting old and grumpy or reading something that isn't there.

I have been to a few parties recently and have been really conscious of men eyeing up very young almost tartily dressed teenagers. These girls were dressed very glamorously but waay too old for their age. I saw a couple of girls probably aged 16/17 and a couple over 18's, but not by much.

What I found worrying was middle aged men blatently eyeing them up and more worrying men in my group of friends/family. Men old enough to be their dad's. Not necessarily gawping but craftily staring when they could. Now I'm talking not just about a pretty girl but proper tarted up, hot pants the lot.

It made me feel quite sick to see middle aged men perving like this, so am I being unreasonable here to think even nice guys are secret pervs and although they may not be happy with their daughters dressed up like that, they will happily ogle others?

Any girl going out wearing hot pants, OTT make up, and obviously spending a huge amount of time on her appearance WANTS to be looked at.. I know I certainly did when I was able to get away with dressing in "tarty" clothes..

I don't get this? All men are liars seems to be the gist now? Very derogatory and unfair to assume that all men fancy young thin adolescent girls and therefore peverted.

I assume everyone on here exclusively likes broad shouldered wealthy men who don't lose cars* who will look after them. If they state otherwise they are lying?

*

Men at any age like attention!
I am a grizzly old 40 something but put me in a room with men born in the 1930's and I am a goddess!

I don't get this? All men are liars seems to be the gist now? Very derogatory and unfair to assume that all men fancy young thin adolescent girls and therefore peverted.
No, because most men will admit to it. And there may be a very small majority of men that it is not true of.

I meant the idea they are not to be believed if they say "young girls don't do it for them", that they must therefore be lying.

What would your reaction be if your OH said that he did fancy young girls?

All (heterosexual) men are programed to find nubile women attractive, and ditto all women are programmed to find virile men attractive, that's not pervy, its just biology.

He did he fancied me

What would your reaction be if your OH said that he did fancy young girls?

Tighten the chastity belt on the au pair.

There's nothing wrong with looking and there isn't much wrong with thinking briefly about how attractive some teenagers are. I had a moment a few years back when I realised that the group of gorgeous looking goth/emo boys I was sneakily admiring in the park were actually all about 14.

To the healthy adult, the occasional lecherous thought about a teenager is not about Being A Peedo. What you're actually desiring is at least partly your own teenage self and your lost youth. Doesn't mean you're going to do anything inappropriate to anyone.

SGB I had a similar moment. Friend and I were watching our DC play under 8s football. We turned around and spotted some lovely fit and gorgeous young men playing a match and said if only we were 20 10 years younger, turns out they were the Under15s!

women do this its not really a big deal as long as no one is getting with anyone underage.

I think tom the olympic swimmer lad is fit he is 16/17?Also I have fancied tyler from teen mom/16 and pregnant for a few years! He is really fit

I think I am happy I don't go anywhere that there are 'tarted up' young girls. The 16 year old girls I know are pretty normal looking, some of them are stunners but none are allowed to get 'tarted up'.

Isn't the point of getting tarted up getting noticed? I know that is why I used to do it when I was younger. We used to call them 'TAMB' shirts, as in 'These Are My Breasts'.

As long as people only look and don't do anything then no biggy. I look, not at young men admittedly because now I have sons as far as I can see there ain't a lot of difference between an 8 year old and an 18 year old, I can't think of anyone under 30 I have ever actually thought was hot, even when I was younger.

Some people are pervs, some are not.

I am certain DH doesn't find the TOWIE sort of look attractive, I know his 'type' and orange isn't it. Why are they orange by the way? Surely they must know it doesn't look like a tan, just orange. Why do people want to be orange?

I note LeQ the italisised more and I do

I have read this back again and stand by my defence of the male gender. Do I believe my OH? Erm yes, what reason does he have to lie? I chose to be with him and commit to him and him to me.

I have a male friend who vehemently detests and hates pornography, he is an active campaigner against it. He is 55, and I can certainly envisage him looking over at a gyrating 15 year old dressed that way and commenting to people he was with.

I am also going to be the one to don her flame proof judgy pants. Why did her parents let her dress like that and behave that way? I am 100% of the thought that a woman should be able to dress how the hell they want and not risk sexual abuse of any kind as a result But if we are classing her as a child than she should be dressed as one, if we are going to be totally black and white about this.

At 16 she's a women at least physicaly, and men will be attracted to that. To say they are all pervs is avery insulting generalisation. I've been together with my wife since I was 19. And yes I look at the female half of the population as I'm sure she looks at the male half. It's just the way it is, I don't however stand looking at girls half my age longer than a glance because I'm a big bloke and it could be intimidating for them. And it's rude.
But it is nice

Actually, the fertility tangent is interesting, because one of my books* has a table claiming that the percentage of menstrual cycles in which you actually ovulate varies, according to age.

Purportedly, under-eighteens ovulate in 30% of cycles; 18-25 year olds ovulate in 65% of cycles, and 26-40 year olds (very large age range there ) ovulate in 80% of cycles.

• this book

There isn't actually anything disgusting or wrong in teenagers wanting to attract attention, either. Not even if the attention they are trying to attract is that of an adult: lots of teens have huge crushes on older people (a teacher, a local sleb, a family friend etc). This doesn't mean that such a crush should lead to anything actually happening; the adult should behave responsibly ie be kind but keep a distance.

OK, there is a safety issue for young women, unfortunately, but there is nothing immoral about having or wanting sex. Advice to teens should be about safety, not 'Sex is dirty, you are bad for trying to look sexy, cover yourself up NOW'.

Anecdotally of course, under 18's seem to be bravely battling against those odds, and succeeding in becoming parents.

So i really wouldn't recommend that anyone rely on that table as a contraceptive...

I think whats worse is at a family event, I think any gender/age to gawp and gurn like a perve at a family is really innapropriate. its a bit inbreedy and wierd.

Absolutely SGB. That's why in black & white it doesn't work.

Archemedes, one of my male relatives is very very attractive (he models). We were at a charity rugby match and he changed his shirt. I literally went "gosh" in my head at his torso and about 20 seconds later "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew".

I agree with SGB that there is nothing wrong with a girl wanting to look attractive.

I do think it is odd that people try to justify adult men ogling 16 year olds by claiming it is biology. There isn't a good biological reason for finding 16 year olds, whose bodies haven't finished growing so have extra physical issues in pregnancy, to be particularly attractive. I can understand the argument for a 20 year old, but not for a 16 year old.

Humans feel protective towards the young, so you'd feel that biological instinct to protect somebody who hasn't even finished growing and in most societies wouldn't yet have finished acquiring the skills to entirely provide for themselves, let alone a baby, would be most people's first instinct. So if a lot of men actually do look at 16 year olds more than women in their twenties or early thirties, that is something about our culture or them as people, not nature.