To be in awe of private school's...

[whydontwehaveasharpknife]

I am a nanny, the other day I accompanied the girl that I nanny for in rural Northamptonshire to the schools open day, it was AMAZING- the grounds were like a national trust property, the uniforms all hand made by a famous London fashion designer, there was a lake, climbing wall, beautiful dining room, tree climbing, den building, the children who already attend the school were incredibly polite and sat in the library reading broad-sheet news papers.

I grew up on a council estate with a peado living round the corner that used to terrify me when I walked the dog, my mother is mentally ill and I've never lived with her, in my early teens my step mother left to become a heroin addict.

Needless to say, I have had to fight pretty hard for my A levels/sanity/ health and have applied to university this year but I must admit I couldn't help but feel 'lower than these people, the staff, the parents and even the children they were all so refined and I felt they could see that I am not of the same breed.

It is just luck though isn't it, why do some people who are born into fortunate circumstances get all the opportunities at success whilst others have to work really hard into their late twenties just to get the success these children achieve when they are 18.

Paying a fortune for schooling is a huge waste of cash Nothing like a huge sweeping generalisation.....what happened to the ability to have a discussion - with "all kinds of people"? Even those from private school.

Not every one from private school is an "arrogant prick", just as not every child from a state school is less intelligent/less able/doing fewer after school activities/from a poor background/likely to hold their child back [insert preconception here] as some people educating privately seem to think.

I didn't say I had a fantastic intellect, just a good education that my parents didn't have to pay huge amounts for. Same for a few of my school mates too, their parents had not gone to uni but they did, because they ignored the class clowns and bullies and worked hard.

My parents both worked full time as well by the way. They were certainly not helicopter parents. They, and my grandparents, just had an attitude to life that rubbed off on me, just by me being around them outside of school hours. Having a supportive family is worth way more than a private education costs.

I did make a sweeping generalisation there though: probably a lot of people I went to uni with also went to private schools but didn't go on about it. Most people didn't really discuss their backgrounds and you could guess at them only by their interests. But the ones who went to the 'top' private schools made a point of mentioning it and comparing themselves with others out loud. Possibly some of those arrogant guys are future politicians and businessmen, but a few of them were drop-outs.

I missed the point I was trying to make there, but I still think that private school is something of a last resort if you live in a bad area for schools, rather than something desirable. I think parents are living in a dream world if they honestly think that showering their kids with privilege is going to automatically have a good effect.

Perhaps it would be better for parents to have faith in their own ability to instil good values, and in the child themselves to achieve in an average school. School is such a short time in your life, I really don't think it's worth spending such a huge amount of money on it.

'School is such a short time in your life.'

Yes it is a very short time, but hugely important. Possibly the most important stage in a persons' life.
I went to a state school but didn't have the lovely middle-class, broadsheet-reading childhood you did. I went on to a highly prestigious educational establishment which was packed to rafters with public school people. They were a few wankers but most were pretty nice. Same as my northern comp really.

My dad got a scholarship to Reading School (?)

My grandad never attended a parents evening. He would sit at the back and leave quickly at the end of school shows as he was too embarassed/ felt inadequate.

My dad is 63 and has never forgotten it.

I have also had 'imposter syndrome' throughout university/work and still battle with not feeling worthy. The day someone offered me a decent salary I was absolutely terrified - i think private/elite schools give children a sense of entitlement which can be very positive, a feeling that they are worth time/ money invested in them.'

When I got to started secondary school, a state one, you could definitely tell the difference between the ones who had gone to junior private schools.

They had a very strong worth ethic and very focused. All of them I still know have gone on to be successful adults such as doctors etc

That's not to say state ones didn't as a lot still were high achieves including myself, and many are very successful to

But it just seemed al the private educated ones were always in the top sets, best at art and sports etc and very driven, eg life plan by age of 14 etc