AIBU to think being bossy isnt such a bad thing?

[bejeezus]

my dd is 7yo and is lovely. Really good at making friends where ever she goes, happy, cheerful, energetic, a chatterbox, a bit ADHD. But she's bossy! there is no doubt about it. She bosses me and her dad at home. She bosses her imaginary friends. And, she bosses her real friends! I know from what she has said, that her friends have complained about this to her. I know that some parents have made comments. her teacher said she is no bossier than any of the other bossy kids (many of which are her friends).

I have witnessed her initiating compromises when people dont want to play her games/her rules. She insists that she does take it in turns to decide what is being played at school. We have had endless talks about 'being bossy' and 'how she would feel if her friends were bossing her....' Bottom line is though, she says she likes being bossy! She appears to understand the consequences and appears to have made a conscious decision to be bossy!

I am not bossy at all...Im not sure how much I should be trying to crack this. Being bossy is certainly a legitimate characteristic that has its uses! AIBU to 'let her be bossy'?

Naaaw! I was a 'bossy' child myself and I suppose I'm a 'bossy' middle-aged old trout but so what? It's just my nature and doesn't make me a bad person, nor should it your little girl! Everyone in my little circle of friends at school expected me to invent games to play, which I was happy to do, just as my adult circle of friends now expects me to organise all our social events, ditto. I attracted and married a man who quite likes decisions to be made for him and have bred a couple of DS's the same. I'm not a bully, I'm not a nightmare, I'm not nasty and I'm not a control freak, I just seem to attract people who like to be 'guided' .... lol! Some of us are born leaders and your little one will be fine, just keep an eye out to make sure it doesn't whizz out of control and/or lose her friends. :)

Sometimes in children being bossy/controlling can be a sign of anxiety, and giving into that bossyness rather than giving the child firm boundaries can be really anxiety provoking for the child.

I'm quite bossy. So is DD1. I recognise myself in her a bit!

I have stacks of friends, loved my family and in laws, always been v popular at school, work, had plenty of boyfriends etc etc

I just feel that I know my own mind and I'm decisive and if I think there is a good way of doing something then I say it. At primary school apparently I always made "clubs" and people would come and join in whatever games (I bumped into someone a few years back and that's what they said, and they said it fondly).

I am well aware that my DH is someone who doesn't mind being bossed around a bit but then I use my bossiness for good not evil and it means we get stuff done which we wouldn't if he was just dithering around. Plus when he does say that he thinks x, y or z I always say fine as I know it must be important to him.

I think that lots of people on the thread probably have a slightly different idea in their head of what bossy means with some people interpreting it as bullying and some as being assertive. I'm not actually a bully or terribly assertive strangely so there you go.

I think that it takes all sorts blah blah and a 7 yo girl being bossy is not exactly unusual or a bad thing assuming that she isn't being horrible to anyone.

This has really got me thinking about the difference between bossing and being assertive and bullying. If you follow dictionary definitions through, then being bossy and being assertive are the same. And like a few people have said the difference between the 2 is often only gender!

I am very assertive at work. Not so much in my personal life. I don't have any desire to lead or be in control, but will defend my opinion IYSWIM

Funny, when I dropped dd at school this morning, I witnessed the friend who had told her off for being bossy, shouting at a group of boys!