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Original poster

To leave MumsNet because it's becoming RadFeministNet?

999 replies

SigmundaFraudina · 21/02/2012 17:56

Had enough of their agenda being forced down my throat whether I want it or not. Major recruitment drive going on lately, and serious opression of other posters views. Just gets worse and worse. This was not what I believed MN was supposed to be about.

I'm off.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/02/2012 10:33

seeker... taking your example, women have no responsibility for rape. I was one of those women who had had it dinned into her head from a young age - "Don't wear that, this could happen"... "Oh you are silly to take risks, that's what happens, nevermind, worse things happen at sea.". It was relentless, like a mantra. I still considered myself a feminist - womens' rights the same as men, etc. I didn't give that any real thought.

I've read posts here, being through experiences of my own and come to the conclusion that absolutely, the only person responsible for a rape is the rapist. No question of that in my mind at all. There are some fantastic advocates for feminism all over MN, I'll engage with the ones who don't shout. However angry the issues can make someone, to shout at somebody for their views is pointless and, to my mind, defeats any concept of educating.

Hullygully · 22/02/2012 10:33

Abs - eh?!

JerichoStarQuilt · 22/02/2012 10:33

hully - well, fair enough.

But, if someone else chooses instead to go with 'you are being racist and I'm off', that's fair enough too. And the same here. The OP is basically saying that - for reasons I don't quite follow - the feminists have a duty to change their views until she or he can agree with them. While I can see that might lead to all sorts of hugs and kittens, it might also be quite boring and irritating to posters who hold their strong views for a reason.

TunipTheVegemal · 22/02/2012 10:34

Hully - "Them coons should fuck off back home. They are all muggers." (Barely an exaggeration)
Friend: "Yes, I know what you mean."

Could you really say that though? I couldn't give that much initial agreement with something so vile without feeling like I had utterly compromised myself even IF I think it is the first step in changing someone's views.

LineRunner · 22/02/2012 10:34

The first time I went on the FWR board I needed some advice on licensing policy for sexual entertainment venues. The posters were excellent. I was led gently and effectively to relevant data and useful interpretations.

Ask, and you shall receive.

Hullygully · 22/02/2012 10:34

I agree with you Lying.

One can express strong and authoritative views whilst using PARD.

AbsofCroissant · 22/02/2012 10:34

I'm a religous Jew woman.

And it is actually, if you think about it, ridiculously insulting grouping people who have a belief in a G-d, essentially, with people who are racist and rape apologists. Really insulting.

StewieGriffinsMom · 22/02/2012 10:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/02/2012 10:35

SardineQueen... I expect there are and they do enjoy that. I'm not one of them. Imagine though the satisfaction in foiling their plans by not rising to the bait?

SigmundFraude · 22/02/2012 10:36

'SF - why on earth should they not be rigid in their views, though?'

They can be as rigid as they like. But they should really stop trying to convince others that they aren't rigid in their views.

And they should really stop descending en mass to silence other posters. Or derail threads to silence other posters. Or wilfully ignore posters who have other views and continue the discussion without even acknowledging them, the online version of 'sending to Coventry'. And then they have to nerve to accuse others of using silencing techniques Hmm.

SardineQueen · 22/02/2012 10:37

Lying after the 50th time patience can wear thin.

And if someone tells me that someone was "asking for it" damn right I'm going to get shouty.

Hullygully · 22/02/2012 10:37

Jericho - I can't even remember what the op was about! I've moved on to my drum theme.

Tunip - I think you can. When people hold views like that they are invariably frightened, low self-esteem etc etc. They are used to never being listened to. If you can say, I hear you, it is very powerful and gets them to relax enough that they are capable of hearing a different view. Ime.

PerryCombover · 22/02/2012 10:39

Blardy feminists.
I remember when this was all fields and we knew our place

Hullygully · 22/02/2012 10:39

sgm - I know what you mean, but I think it is essential to put the other person's moccasins on and walk a bit and see why they are where they are so they can be helped to take them off and wear flip flops.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 22/02/2012 10:40

"The relationships thread that everyone keeps banging on about was an absolute disgrace. It was basically, OP's DP went to a lap dancing club? Clearly he hates women. Punish him. Never mind the fact that the OP herself said he was a good man generally."

err no ... thats not quite how the thread went

OP said she was extremely upset becuase her DP had gone to a strip club again and lied about it even though he knew that she strongly objects to strip clubs. This was clearly a major issue for the OP who from the outset of the thread expressed her objection to strip clubs. You popped up on the thread and kept telling her that this was a "minor" incident and she was "blowing it out of proportion" then you bandied around some lovely comments about "manginas" and how within a month she would be persuaded to refuse PIV etc.

You completely invalidated her feelings to pursue your own agenda.

Nyac · 22/02/2012 10:41

"to shout at somebody for their views is pointless and, to my mind, defeats any concept of educating"

I don't think people voicing feminist opinions on Mumsnet are doing it to educate though are they? They are stating their opinions about issues because they are their opinions, the same as everybody else.

Feminists don't have some extra duty to educate on Mumsnet any more than anybody else does.

Interestingly enough though, when we do link to information we get criticised for it. I think catgirl was having a go about how anybody could use google so it's pointless. Basically it's criticism from every angle the critics can think about, generally avoiding the topic in hand.

I got called a manhater on the Amsterdam thread, just for stating my views. I didn't insult anybody else. I think there's a lot of hypocrisy going on in this criticism of feminists.

Hullygully · 22/02/2012 10:42

Abs, you know I love you. I would never mean to hurt or insult you. The egs aren't grouped together for any reason, just those are the ones that sprang to mind.

You can call me an atheist arse if you like.

JerichoStarQuilt · 22/02/2012 10:42

Well, some of my views are happily rigid. I'm pretty sure lots of people have explained their strongly-held views all over this thread too.

And I'll keep posting just as I see fit, funnily enough.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 22/02/2012 10:42

Not read whole thread but toddlerama I do love you:

"Feminism on the other hand is the reason you can even read mumsnet, because you have received some form of education despite your lack of penis."

If only that banner was along the top of the fem boards :)

seeker · 22/02/2012 10:44

Sigmundfrqud- please give me an actual example where thwt happened.

Oh, and I notice you ignored my comment to you abut the Harrogate thread, by the way.

Nyac · 22/02/2012 10:44

Sigmund your views are just as rigid as anybody elses. Are you really not aware of that.

JerichoStarQuilt · 22/02/2012 10:44
SigmundFraude · 22/02/2012 10:47

'Catgirl, SigmundFraudina who started this thread was arguing on the Amsterdam thread that paying for sex shouldn't be criminalised, in other words that it shoudl be legal for men to buy women's bodies. I don't know why you're claiming it didn't happen, it did.'

FFS! So fed up of people twisting my words to fit their own agenda. I said that brothels should be legalised to protect the sex workers. The swedish sex laws have outlawed paying for sex, and I then provided a link that said basically that the sex laws have pushed prostitution underground and made sex workers even more vulnerable. The sex laws haven't stopped prostitution at all.

Given the fact that prostitution is highly unlikely to be eradicated, I suggested that legalisation would make it safer for some.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/02/2012 10:47

SardineQueen... I can understand why that's frustrating. It's possibly something that you've never, ever questionned, being sure always. For some of us though, having 'old mantras' in our heads, it's been not so long that our views have changed. I have questions still - they don't change the way I think of rape responsibility - but I'd still like to understand.

I can quite see though that sometimes questions can be 'wind-ups' in not very good disguise and I'd be irked at somebody disrupting a discussion like that.

SigmundFraude · 22/02/2012 10:49

'Sigmundafreud- I've just been to look at the Hwrrogate thread- I really don't think it's that feminists have ignored the poster you mention- I think it's that the tread has moved on very quickly because of a particular pro LDC poster and she slid off the bottom of the page before most other posters noticed her.'

Yes, that may have been the case. But also, it may not. Who knows?