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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave MumsNet because it's becoming RadFeministNet?

999 replies

SigmundaFraudina · 21/02/2012 17:56

Had enough of their agenda being forced down my throat whether I want it or not. Major recruitment drive going on lately, and serious opression of other posters views. Just gets worse and worse. This was not what I believed MN was supposed to be about.

I'm off.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/02/2012 10:53

Nyac... Feminists don't have some extra duty to educate on Mumsnet any more than anybody else does.

No, of course they don't, although some feminists choose to post to persuade other people and turn them towards feminism. After all, vegetarians have been doing that for years. Patient explanation (no education required) or defamatory shouting - all grist to the mill on a chatboard but not at all the same.

SardineQueen · 22/02/2012 10:56

I think the point is that people are sometimes shouty and sometimes patient depending on their mood and on what has been going on lately.

No-one is perfect and everyone loses their temper / CBA from time to time.

YuleingFanjo · 22/02/2012 10:56

has the op come back with a different name?

Nyac · 22/02/2012 10:56

Legalising brothels does not make prostituted women (not sex workers - being paid for sex isn't work) safer Sigmund. What it does is tell men that it's OK to use women in this manner and increases demand for prostitution so trafficking rises and the industry expands as has happened in the Netherlands and in Australia. There isn't any evidence that criminalising people (overwhelmingly men) paying for sex in Sweden has made life more dangerous for women in prostitution there, and they have reduced prostitution massively, as well as changing public attitudes to sexual exploitation.

But seriously you need to be honest about what you're aruging for. Legalising brothels makes it legal for men to buy and sell women. The laws are telling them they are entitled to do this. Pimps stop being pimps and become managers, women become a commodity and are treated as such. It's a hideous state of affairs.

SardineQueen · 22/02/2012 10:59

lying I remember when I was about 17 a girl was raped near where I live and the police came knocking on doors asking if anyone had seen/heard anything.

My mum said that the police had been and was talking about it in that sort of "ooh this is different and a bit exciting" sort of gossipy tone of voice IYSWIM which seemed really off. Then my brother said "what sort of person is out by themselves at 2 in the morning anyway" and my mum and dad agreed and I said "well, I am". And they all shut up and looked a bit thoughtful.

So maybe I did always know.

I have learnt an awful lot on these boards though.

Nyac · 22/02/2012 11:00

You still haven't said which views of yours you think feminists should take on board Sigmund.

Nyac · 22/02/2012 11:05

"No, of course they don't, although some feminists choose to post to persuade other people and turn them towards feminism. After all, vegetarians have been doing that for years. Patient explanation (no education required) or defamatory shouting - all grist to the mill on a chatboard but not at all the same."

Well I suppose. But the point I'm making is that the feminists who aren't here to educate shouldn't be criticised for putting their point of view across the same as everybody else. Mumsnet is a place where people state their views robustly. There is no reason why the feminists here should be hamstrung and told to be polite when nobody else feels beholden to behave the same way.

Like I said a lot of the defamation is coming from the people criticising the feminists.

MosEisley · 22/02/2012 11:07

It does seem that the OP has come back with a different name.

Not a very successful flounce, was it?!

Or perhaps it was successful, in sparking an ego-massagingly long thread for the OP...

SigmundFraude · 22/02/2012 11:08

'You popped up on the thread and kept telling her that this was a "minor" incident and she was "blowing it out of proportion" then you bandied around some lovely comments about "manginas" and how within a month she would be persuaded to refuse PIV etc.'

Ok. I made one comment on one post using that term. I did not 'bandy it around', it was one comment, in response to one of the posters definition of a 'real man', saying real men (which is an insult in itself) do not go to LDC. It was wrong to use the term 'mangina'. I have heard it used plenty of times before, sometimes from men claiming to be one. I was an idiot for saying that, didn't realise how disrespectful it was, and I apologise for saying that.

RhinosDontEatPancakes · 22/02/2012 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SigmundFraude · 22/02/2012 11:12

'There isn't any evidence that criminalising people (overwhelmingly men) paying for sex in Sweden has made life more dangerous for women in prostitution there, and they have reduced prostitution massively, as well as changing public attitudes to sexual exploitation.'

swedish sex laws

Hullygully · 22/02/2012 11:13

The problem with that Rhino, is that feminism isn't about a single topic, like dogs or hair serum, it is a general position and outlook on life that covers all topics. You may not like some people's views on prostitution/rape/education/housebuying/foodstuffs, but that's just hard cheese, you can't ask them not to post their opinions in the same way everyone else does.

You could ask them to use PARD though, if you wanted.

OrmIrian · 22/02/2012 11:14

Rubbish. I was going to say bollocks but I thought that might be inappropriate Grin

TheRhubarb · 22/02/2012 11:15

There are good and bad aspects of any section of humanity. I agree that Mumsnet has changed quite a bit, it's a lot more aggressive now than it used to be and you do have to make sure you verify everything you say with hard evidence, which is a bit of a pain as I usually remember stuff from documentaries I've seen ages ago or news programmes and I can never find the info online, so I get shouted down for that.

I don't want to be those who moaned about how Mumsnet used to be, because that's pointless, but certainly I've noticed that people are a lot more confrontational and sometimes take your point way out of context just to try and gauge a reaction from you. I've learnt now not to give it.

However that's possibly a reflection of society as a whole. I've noticed that the worse the economy gets, the worse Mumsnet gets. Everyone is anxious and angry and embittered and they come onto Mumsnet to let rip. Therefore, it is all the fault of the Tories.

I BLAME THE TORIES FOR THE DEMISE OF MUMSNET!

Shall I make up some statistics to prove my point? Grin

BIWI · 22/02/2012 11:15

I agree with Hully. The idea that feminism should be contained in its own ghetto on this site is actually rather worrying.

But absolutely to PARD.

Nyac · 22/02/2012 11:17

It's not very strong is it? A couple of sex industry activists saying that the laws aren't working.

On the other hand the Swedes are saying that there has been a big reduction of the number of women in prostitution. The only way to eradicate prostitution is to reduce demand. Men don't need to pay for sex, some of them choose to do so though, so the answer is to punish them when they do.

In fact the laws have worked so well that other countries have copied them (Iceland and Norway) and France and Israel are also thinking of following suit.

You still haven't said which views you think feminists ought to take on board Sigmund.

AIBUqatada · 22/02/2012 11:19

Feminism isn't a topic; it is a stance, or a range of stances, associated with every part of a woman's life, and so relevant in every part of a woman's discussion site. Of course it was, potentially, useful to have a feminist topic, too, where people could take discussion of it further, but that certainly shouldn't mean it isn't discussed right across Mumsnet.

OrmIrian · 22/02/2012 11:20

And I agree with hully too.

dollymixtures · 22/02/2012 11:20

Just so I'm clear op... You are flouncing because of all the radfems posting outside Feminism and "pushing their agenda" onto those who don't want to hear it but instead of posting in Flouncers Corner you start a thread on probably busiest section of MN with a (deliberately?) inflammatory title that's guaranteed to bring the Marauding Hordes running with pitchforks in hand? And then you keep posting anyway?

Righto.

RhinosDontEatPancakes · 22/02/2012 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SigmundFraude · 22/02/2012 11:21

'You still haven't said which views of yours you think feminists should take on board Sigmund.'

Not all men are the enemy.

Most women do OK under western patriarchy, as opposed to middle eastern patriarchy.

Not all sex workers are abused.

Some women actually like being 'objectified'.

Non-feminists are quite capable of rational thought, and are not mind controlled by by the patriarchy.

Male DV is as important an issue as female DV. One is not worse than the other.

PIV is not calculated murder.

Take a look at the reports in the media about the massacres in Syria right now. Put things into perspective.

Olderyetwilder · 22/02/2012 11:23

What's PARD?

JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 22/02/2012 11:23

Rhino's Maybe the reason feminist posts don't get moved to feminism like a thread about site admin would get moved to site stuff is that they crop up on threads everywhere - because they are an intrinsic and often inseparable part of how we see ourselves and our relationship to others. A feminist perspective is often at the heart of our views on many issues. eg If I were to say that I think prostitution is generally a bad thing (and abusive to women) should the whole thread immediately be moved to the Feminism board ?

SigmundFraude · 22/02/2012 11:25

'On the other hand the Swedes are saying that there has been a big reduction of the number of women in prostitution.'

That's because it's being forced underground where it's not visible.

BIWI · 22/02/2012 11:26

Polite
And
Reasonable
Discourse