I didn't say anything to this new Mum, and now I wonder if I should have done...

[lurcherlover]

In Starbucks, a couple came in with their baby (brand new - no more than a couple of weeks old). Dad goes to get coffees, Mum sits down opposite me and starts to make a bottle up. She got a bottle of water out, mixed formula powder in it then proceeded to feed it straight to baby. Obviously therefore the water had been boiled at home, but allowed to cool while they were out. I assumed she didn't realise the bacteria are in the formula, but believed the widely-held myth that it's the water that's dangerous. I nearly said something - I wasn't at all going to be rude, I was going to say something along the lines of "I hope you don't mind me saying, but you'd be better keeping a flask of water straight from the kettle with you, mixing the powder in a bit of that and then topping it up with cooled boiled water so baby can drink it" - but I held off and didn't say anything because I'm a wimp I thought it wasn't my business. But afterwards, I thought, if it had been me and I was doing something (however unwittingly) that might be putting my baby's health at risk, I would want another Mum to tell me so in as non-threatening a way as possible. So I wonder if I should have said something. What do you think?

(Disclaimer: this is in NO WAY intended to be an anti-FF thread - I just wanted to point out to her the safest possible way to formula-feed her baby, not in any way to judge, so please don't think that comes into it)

I'm glad you didn't say anything.

Lots of people do this, they have done it for all their older children and they were fine etc........

In terms of 'dangerous' things to do I think it is pretty low on the list TBH and wouldn't have said anything. I think you risk someone being defensive, confused and embarrased.

I daresay she'd be doing a thread about how a complete stranger told her how to feed her baby if you had said anything.

That's partly why I didn't say anything really pinkapple. I remember how vulnerable I felt as a new mum and it would have made me cry if someone had said it to me, however nicely - but then I wonder if when I had had time to recover it might have been something I'd have wanted to know.

You were right to mind your own business tbh.

Agree with pink. As risks go, this is way down the list, and no doubt less risky than the drive or walk to Starbucks. There are risks in everything we do, and frankly, if she is storing the formula correctly the risk of anything nasty is so tiny as to not be worth thinking about. The upset you would have caused would outweigh any 'helpfulness'. I'm glad you didn't say anything

Once in a while it is fine to cut corners. It would only be unadvisble if every bottle was being made like that.

I wouldn't interfer in a case like that. I thought that you were going to say that they fed the baby some adult food, which would be different.

It's amazing any of us (born in a the FF generation) survived really

Actually given the above it's amazing that my FF (unable to feed ..disabled) child survived either.. do people REALLY worry that much???

Very glad you didn't butt in and make a new parent feel totally shit tho...!

The instructions to make up formula are on each box, it's not exactly hidden information that she's not going to know unless you tell her. If she chooses not to follow them, it's up to her.

I can see what you mean, and that you were thinking of being helpful, but I wouldn't say anything.

We were told by a special care nurse that, although not recommended, it was ok to do exactly that on odd occasions.

Also, you don't know the circumstances. I'm not in any way anti-FF, but I desperately wanted to BF my DS and for many reasons was unable to. If someone had made the vaguest comment about me feeding him incorrectly (even something as well meant as this) I'd have had a complete breakdown in front of them.

Glad you didn't.
Both mine were fed this way - it was on the guidelines on the formula box with one and then had changed with the other.
Far worse 'nasties' on a well sucked, dragged along comfort blanket.

Both my friends did this with their two dds made up the feeds with previously boiled water that they kept in their changing bags /fridge or upstairs for night feeds. Hence every feed their kids got was cold.
I used to feel really sorry for them

yanbu to have left her to it, I doubt your advice would've been welcomed.

However, it's nothing to do with the storage of the powder, formula is not made in a sterile environment, it may harbour any one of many kinds of bacteria that can cause gastroenteritis, I have seen babies with gastro and it is evil. yeah yeah yeah, I'm sure my mother made up formula in this way and I'm alright, I also travelled in a car placed on the back seat in a moses basket. I personally would feel extremely guilty if I made my baby sick from improperly making up formula. In my job, I try to make it clear to all parents how to make up formula safely, then it is their responsibility if they choose to ignore that advice. However, you had no responsibility to educate this woman.

www.who.int/foodsafety/publications/micro/en/qa2.pdf

Not a scare tactic red top, but a food safety guideline from the World Health Organisation. EXTREMELY nasty bug sometimes found in infant formula and killed by proper preparation.

I'm glad you didn't say anything. She would have been told in hospital/by health visitor how to make up the feeds, and as mentioned it's written on the box, so it's something she would have already know, and might already be feeling guilty about it.

You feel sorry for children fed cold milk??????
Blimey there are children on this planet with real problems you know.

Good that you didn't - i probably would have sat in Starbucks sobbing uncontrollably if you'd said it to me with DS1 after the bf nightmare I had with him!

I made all my bottles this way with both DS - why? Because on both occasions it was how the midwives/health visitors said it was best to do it! Maybe I was ill advised but they've both survived and both have good strong constitutions with little illness.

Sometimes it's best to just enjoy your coffee!

Are people honestly that paranoid? Statistically, it was probably more dangerous driving there or more dangerous to put your child in a pram. How did any child survive even 10 years ago fgs.

Thankfully you did not say anything to the other Mum because if it was me, you would have gotten a blasting for sticking your nose in!

I thought you were going to say they put coffee in the baby's bottle. Now that would have been worth getting worked up about.

Discretion was definitely the better part of valor here. (Or as Tiptoptoe put it, if it was me you would have gotten a blasting for sticking your nose in!).

I'm glad you didn't say anything, on two grounds

a) the instructions are readily available anyhow
b) what you appear to be recommending wouldn't actually reduce the risk.

Read the WHO link above. You need to make up with boiling water, wait and then give immediately (no standing about) or make up with other water, then boil, to deal with bacteria, way to cool and then give immediately.

I don't think anyone really does that every single feed, do they?

That's how I made up bottles for ds's 1&2. They had invented the little cartons by the time it got to ds3.

PurpleHonesty.... Neither of my children liked warm milk! Warm milk is to make the parent feel better. No need for it. Both wolfed down carton after carton of room temperature Aptimil (and of course, cooled boiled water with milk powder chucked in).

OP even as a vulnerable new mother I would have argued the toss with you!

I used to carry cooled water around in the bottle and then mix in the formula when I needed it, then feed my baby with it still cold. Had no idea you weren't supposed to do it like that!

I only did it occasionally though as usually they were BF - just if they were out without me or where it wasn't convenient to BF.