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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I didn't say anything to this new Mum, and now I wonder if I should have done...

379 replies

lurcherlover · 19/02/2012 12:51

In Starbucks, a couple came in with their baby (brand new - no more than a couple of weeks old). Dad goes to get coffees, Mum sits down opposite me and starts to make a bottle up. She got a bottle of water out, mixed formula powder in it then proceeded to feed it straight to baby. Obviously therefore the water had been boiled at home, but allowed to cool while they were out. I assumed she didn't realise the bacteria are in the formula, but believed the widely-held myth that it's the water that's dangerous. I nearly said something - I wasn't at all going to be rude, I was going to say something along the lines of "I hope you don't mind me saying, but you'd be better keeping a flask of water straight from the kettle with you, mixing the powder in a bit of that and then topping it up with cooled boiled water so baby can drink it" - but I held off and didn't say anything because I'm a wimp I thought it wasn't my business. But afterwards, I thought, if it had been me and I was doing something (however unwittingly) that might be putting my baby's health at risk, I would want another Mum to tell me so in as non-threatening a way as possible. So I wonder if I should have said something. What do you think?

(Disclaimer: this is in NO WAY intended to be an anti-FF thread - I just wanted to point out to her the safest possible way to formula-feed her baby, not in any way to judge, so please don't think that comes into it)

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 20/02/2012 14:31

MixedBerries - it always does this until everyone who has said how/why 50 times just gives up and the last few posts are 'What? Why? But?' and it dies the thread death... then a fortnight later it starts again... and for some reason, people still seem to think anecdotes are more vaild than actual research.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 20/02/2012 14:31

they do. Hmm

although anyone with half a brain cell can memorise the amount of time that it takes their micro to heat water to the requ'd temp, then add powder and shake it.

MixedBerries · 20/02/2012 14:33

Shall we talk about disabled parking spaces or benefits instead? ;)

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 20/02/2012 14:33

regarding 'look, i've googled'. that's googling for research done on more than your three kids, pictish. Hmm honestly, where are we? Bounty?

pictish · 20/02/2012 14:37

eh?

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 20/02/2012 14:38

what are you confused about, pictish?

PoohBearsHole · 20/02/2012 14:38

After much thought about this, perhaps more awareness is the key and I have to say I didn't realise quite how violent this kind of bacteria was (I've probably got that wrong and it will be some bacterium of summit Grin). There do seem to be several of us on this thread that hadn't been told, been advised that this was a possibility. It has quite simply never come up. Whereas the hospital are quite unlikely to let you leave without a car seat, which possibly just highlights the risks. Perhaps I was never informed of this because a) I expressed a wish to bf and was able to, b) the hv knew I was bf and so assumed I wasn't using formula.
They were quite vocal with regards to the carseat though Hmm - which makes me wonder what the fuck else they never told me Sad

pictish · 20/02/2012 14:42

Well, the thing that is confusing me most of all, is why so many of you feel so very strongly about this?

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 20/02/2012 14:44

lol.

PoohBearsHole · 20/02/2012 14:44

Probably and quite unjustifiably its because those of us who were not given the information feel like we have been a form of rubbishy parent and might be being judged about all parentlng choices because of this. not saying that is true but its a possibility Smile

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 20/02/2012 14:48

why would anyone bother their backsides to judge someone who didn't know about it?

i am definitely coming round to the idea, though, of finding people who repeatedly point to their own children and claim that they've never had a tummy bug so Therefore The World Health Organisation Is Wrong On This One, a bit silly.

pictish · 20/02/2012 14:48

I mean, this is a real Mumsnet recurring theme isn't it?

How Other People Feed Their Children And My Opinion About That.

PoohBearsHole · 20/02/2012 14:51

I don't know, perhaps because you can't see facial expressions, or feel a bit of a numpty for not knowing about this, or just...... I don't know. I am probably wrong anyway Smile

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 20/02/2012 14:52

gawd, pictish...

i don't care what you do with your kids. i do care if you point to them and say that because they aren't sick then there's no point in sticking to the WHO guidelines.

and yes, er, safe formula feeding is likely to crop up on mumsnet, that seems like a good bet to me. certainly it's more likely to be a recurring theme than anal sex in centreparcs.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 20/02/2012 14:55

well at least you're open-minded enough to think about it, pooh. the fact is, the safest way to make up formula has been on the side of the box for years, but it's never going to happen that formula manufacturers are going to shout about why those instructions are in place.

do you know what i would love to know... the farking actual cost of a box of formula. it was nearly 7 quid when i was buying it, now it's 9. how can THAT be, and yet they don't even have to make it safe?

PoohBearsHole · 20/02/2012 14:55

Anal Sex and Centre Parcs.

I always miss those threads Sad

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 20/02/2012 14:56

lol Grin more important information... Wink

PoohBearsHole · 20/02/2012 14:58

Aitch - could not agree more. Farking rip off. Thank goodness that for the moment those days are behind me. £9 is outrageous. Also it is nigh on impossible to get all the flipping powder out anyway AND they never give you info on how many feeds you get out of a box. For some reason that pisses me off. Washing powder tells you ffs, why can't they?

And yes I am trying to be as openminded as possible Wink on all areas of mn.

PoohBearsHole · 20/02/2012 14:59

Except perhaps CP and Anal Sex. Both make my teeth go funny Grin

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 20/02/2012 15:02

eeeuw. my teeth just went funny. Grin

BiddyPop · 20/02/2012 15:53

Is there another CP discussion going on....hmmmm, wanders off for a nosy....Wink

nowittynamehere · 20/02/2012 15:54

there is new ways to make up formula every other week and tbh i was making mine up 24 hours in advance and keeping them in the fridge 19 years ago 4 years after that i was making them up as i went along , So im glad you didnt say anything maybe thats how she was told how to make bottles up ,

nowittynamehere · 20/02/2012 15:55

yes i know every other week was an embilishment Grin

GandTiceandaSprout · 20/02/2012 15:55

That's how I've fed all 3 of my formula fed babies.

Don't interfere in something in which you are not an expert in.

GandTiceandaSprout · 20/02/2012 15:57

Oh bollcks! You meant bottled water not a bottle with boiled kettle water in!

Oh.

Well I still wouldn't have said anything.

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