I didn't say anything to this new Mum, and now I wonder if I should have done...

[lurcherlover]

In Starbucks, a couple came in with their baby (brand new - no more than a couple of weeks old). Dad goes to get coffees, Mum sits down opposite me and starts to make a bottle up. She got a bottle of water out, mixed formula powder in it then proceeded to feed it straight to baby. Obviously therefore the water had been boiled at home, but allowed to cool while they were out. I assumed she didn't realise the bacteria are in the formula, but believed the widely-held myth that it's the water that's dangerous. I nearly said something - I wasn't at all going to be rude, I was going to say something along the lines of "I hope you don't mind me saying, but you'd be better keeping a flask of water straight from the kettle with you, mixing the powder in a bit of that and then topping it up with cooled boiled water so baby can drink it" - but I held off and didn't say anything because I'm a wimp I thought it wasn't my business. But afterwards, I thought, if it had been me and I was doing something (however unwittingly) that might be putting my baby's health at risk, I would want another Mum to tell me so in as non-threatening a way as possible. So I wonder if I should have said something. What do you think?

(Disclaimer: this is in NO WAY intended to be an anti-FF thread - I just wanted to point out to her the safest possible way to formula-feed her baby, not in any way to judge, so please don't think that comes into it)

Guilty
I thought that was how it was done.
Oops (my dc are not that old!)
Weren't sick often so mustn't been too bad.

So good job you didn't ( I hit post too early by accident)

I would make up feeds in advance if I had another baby - exactly the same as before, that list of instructions from the NHS is ridiculous, you would never leave the house!

I don't think the OP came across as being a busybody at all but the vitriol and defensiveness on here is typical whenever anyone perceives so much of a criticism of formula feeding.

Presumably the guidelines wrt making up formula are best practice and whilst the majority of babies have no problem with formula that has been made up improperly, surely it is best to do things by the book so to speak in case - God forbid - your baby is the unlucky minority.

Just because things were always done in a certain way, doesn't mean that we should continue to do them the same way. My mum smoked heavily throughout pregnancy and when we were babies and we are "alright" but I don't think anyone would say that that is the right thing to do now.

And OP, you were probably right not to say anything but it's a shame really. Maybe the mother in question really did not know and would have welcomed your input and advice.

I think it IS being a busy body telling someone you don't know at all that they might or might not be doing something 'wrong.' As it was said up thread, this mum might know all the risks and might not be a new mum at all. I remember some one saying ds was 'very small' on one of our first outings - I cried all the way home! If some one had added that I was doing something wrong it would've finished me off!

Just read the thread ...wow, the mine field that is ff!!

With my first dd (now 12) we made a full days worth of formula and stored it in the fridge.

With my second dd (almost 9) we had bottles of cooled boiled water made up which we added milk to when she was hungry.

Dd3 was exclusively breastfed so I don't know what the guidelines were.

I completely agree with the poster who said that we can't compare what we used to do and say, oh I did xyz and mine survived. Rubbish! New research tells us safer ways to do things ...it would be ignorant to think we know best just because its what we did a decade or so ago. I have photographs of me sat on my dads knee while he was smoking a cigarette. I had a halo of smoke circling my head!! That was completely acceptable then, and obviously I survived, so should we carry on doing that? Of course not.

All that said, I think op, yanbu to say nothing. The mother, I'm sure, will have been told/read how to do it correctly and probably wouldn't have appreciated the interferance. Most of us on this thread who are clueless, are clueless because we no longer have babies and aren't in the loop, so to speak.

Tryharder

I am not seeing vitriol.

I also don't think the OP is a busybody.

I do think it's interesting that the advice has changed and it makes me wonder what I would do (I did exactly the same as Plonker with my tow DCs - similar ages). I also think about that in relation to sleep and weaning. I'm not sure I would change according to current guidelines

everlong - yes!

I'm really glad you kept quiet. Both of my boys were fed like that and they are fine and dandy.

DS2 has only recently turned 3 so it must be a very new change as that was how you did it then.

I am glad I didn't go on to have a DC3, I couldn't have done the new rules.

the easy way to do it is to have two bottles, one with a few ounces of pre-boiled but COOLED water in it, then in another put in the boiling/70 degree water, from a flask or kettle, only put in about half the amount you need so a 6oz feed put in 3oz of the HOT water, then add your powder to that ALL 6 scoops if making a 6oz feed, and mix, THEN add the previously measured and cooled cold water so another 3oz to make it up to a 6oz feed, this will cool the milk down quickly but the powder has alreayd been mixed with the HOT water and so killed the bugs. if out i just had two bottles one empty to put hot water in and mix the powder and the other with the pre cooled boiled water to top it up to the right amount. its easy to do.

at home i just made it up fresh then ran under the cold tap to cool, done in a few mins. or make it up in advance with hot water, cool quickly and then store in the fridge till needed and warm it up if you want. they say ideally make each feed up fresh but if you make it with hot water, then cool quickly and store in the fridge then that is fine as well. or just buy the little cartons for when out and about.

i dont know i bfed my first three but put the no 4 and no5 onto formula at 3-4mths of age and i just did the half hot/half cooled water method to get it the right temperatue, it wasnt a faff particularly. you do need to experiment the first few times to find out how much cooled water you need in relation to hot to get it drinking temp. i foudn half and half tended to be the best bet. as long as you always mix the powder with the HOT water and then add in the cooled water (that you have pre measured to make sure you get the right amount) then the powder is mixed correctly.

and i would NEVER tell someone if i thought they were doing it wrong! if someone ASKED me i would say the way that i chose to do it, but we are all capable of doing the research and coming to our own decisions/

4mad that sounds really complicated!

The risk would be considerably higher that one of them would drop their hot coffee (or some of it) on the baby. So maybe you should have told them that they shouldn't be having hot drinks while the baby's in the same room too?

nah its not, its simple, two bottles, one empty, one with some pre measured water in. like i said for a 6oz feed iw ould have one empty bottle to put 3oz of hot into and all 6scoops of powder (which i would have in alittle tub) mix those together and then just pour in the 3oz of water from the other bottle.#
when out i had a flask for hot water or else i just asked for some in a cafe.

i found it simple enough, but i guess its what you are used to?

and tbh there were times as they were older and i was in a rush or out and didnt have access to hot water than i made it up without hot water, its not ideal at all, but loads of people do it and the risks are minimal.

i think the easiest way is to make it up hot at home, cool quickly under a running tap and then take it out in one of those baby cool bags for bottles? then when baby needs it warm it up if baby prefers it that way or not if they dont mind.

or just buy cartons when out!

or do as many do and make an educated decision and ignore the advice

cartons, deffo.

which we are all entitled to do! we make calculated risks all day long, hell life is full of them. i think there are risks and they can be quite serious risks with the formula powder, but i dont think there have been any cases in the uk? tho there have been in australia and germany? and so the advice was changed to help prevent this? but it is about reading the information and then making your own decision.

if someone asked me i would tell them the official advice, i would say i found an easy way to do it was to mix half and half like i said above, buy cartons etc or you can just choose to ignore the advice. hell i ignored allt he pregnancy advice about not eating raw eggs etc,i read up and made an educated decision that as i only eat organic, free range, lion stamped eggs that my risks were pretty small so continued to have a nice fried egg sandwich with runny yolk some people wouldnt do that [shrug]

You should have just told her to bf!!

My two seem to be ok so far too everlong.