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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I didn't say anything to this new Mum, and now I wonder if I should have done...

379 replies

lurcherlover · 19/02/2012 12:51

In Starbucks, a couple came in with their baby (brand new - no more than a couple of weeks old). Dad goes to get coffees, Mum sits down opposite me and starts to make a bottle up. She got a bottle of water out, mixed formula powder in it then proceeded to feed it straight to baby. Obviously therefore the water had been boiled at home, but allowed to cool while they were out. I assumed she didn't realise the bacteria are in the formula, but believed the widely-held myth that it's the water that's dangerous. I nearly said something - I wasn't at all going to be rude, I was going to say something along the lines of "I hope you don't mind me saying, but you'd be better keeping a flask of water straight from the kettle with you, mixing the powder in a bit of that and then topping it up with cooled boiled water so baby can drink it" - but I held off and didn't say anything because I'm a wimp I thought it wasn't my business. But afterwards, I thought, if it had been me and I was doing something (however unwittingly) that might be putting my baby's health at risk, I would want another Mum to tell me so in as non-threatening a way as possible. So I wonder if I should have said something. What do you think?

(Disclaimer: this is in NO WAY intended to be an anti-FF thread - I just wanted to point out to her the safest possible way to formula-feed her baby, not in any way to judge, so please don't think that comes into it)

OP posts:
callmemrs · 19/02/2012 13:59

There is a risk they could have been run over walking to Starbucks. There is a risk they could have been killed driving there. There is a risk the newborn baby could have picked up some random germ from a customer there. Life is riddled with risk. The risk of bacteria in formula killing the baby after this one feed is waaaay down the list.

And as someone else said, why are assumptions being made about how long the water had been carried around? Couple might live 2 minutes away.

MaryZ · 19/02/2012 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2012 14:00

Something else I got wrong then. Sad I am sure it would have been ok 9 years ago. though.

PamPerdbrat · 19/02/2012 14:03

I used to make up bottles in advance fully; ie add powder to boiling water and store them until I needed them. I made them up in the morning and used them within 12 hours, or used ready made. I think most people who ff that I knew did that.

Midwives will happily teach you how to bf, but not how to mix up a bottle! Bit odd, but there again the risk of your baby becoming ill cant be that high; or else surely they would?

OP, best to keep thinks like that to yourself. New parents can be very defensive and I can see why Sad

EasilyBored · 19/02/2012 14:03

Um, earlier on my,DS had a nappy explosion that required a bath to clean up. He stuck his hands in it, so then it was all over his hair and face. I don't think that was sterile. And how many bf mums sterilise (oreven wipe) their nipples (which may have been in a bra, or pressed against a breast pad all day)?

Also guess people use a brand new muslin every time they have to wipe sick/snot/unidentified goo off their babys face?

We're moving to ff at the minute but have so far only used the cartons, what is the new advice on making up bottles?

PamPerdbrat · 19/02/2012 14:05

easily good point. And I used ready made cartons a lot; they were brillo!

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 19/02/2012 14:06

We were told to boil the kettle and let it stand for 15 minutes before pouring into the bottle and adding the formula.

This was not quite three years ago, so probably way out of date now Hmm

We used to do that for every single bottle until he was about seven months old. We were lucky enough to have plenty of places locally to get freshly boiled water from if we were out and about.

When DS got older we would boil the water and store it in the fridge, then heat it up in the microwave, add the milk, stir it a lot to prevent the hot spots and then cool it down to a drinkable temperature in a cup of cold water.

It was a lot of gaffing about and I will always disagree when FF is described as an easy option. In certain terms it is a lot of hard work, especially if it wasn't your first choice but was just the way it worked out in the end.

My mother used to boil all my bottles once a day and then store them, nicely made up, in the fridge until they were needed.

AlbertoFrog · 19/02/2012 14:07

I did this for DS too - poor mite. Knew I was (and still am) a bad mother. Gave him a bit of my chocolate digestive the other day too.

Seriously though. When I see a new wee baby all I want to do is cuddle it and breathe in that newborn smell. I'm so busy staring longingly at the baby I don't notice what it's being fed.

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2012 14:08

DS1-sterilising the bottles, pick up teat with a tong out of the steriliser, and drop it on the floor. Has to be sterilised again.

DS2-same scenario. Pick teat up off floor, rinse under tap and stick on bottle. Tongs are lost.

But as I say this was 9 years ago. Grin

Ephiny · 19/02/2012 14:08

I thought it was OK to do this - isn't it storing the made-up formula that's the problem?

OriginalJamie · 19/02/2012 14:09

I am also very surprised how much the advice has changed. This is exactly (the lady in the OP) what I used to do (9 years ago).

Purple :

Some babies like cold formula, some don't

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2012 14:09

I thought so Ephiny, but I may be out of date it seems.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 19/02/2012 14:12

Even when tins and packets of powdered infant formula are sealed, they can sometimes contain bacteria such as Cronobacter sakazakii (formerly known as Enterobacter sakazakii) and, more rarely, Salmonella. Although these bacteria are very rare, the infections they cause can be life-threatening.

To reduce the risk of infection, make up each feed as your baby needs it, using boiled water at a temperature of 70ºC or above. Water at this temperature will kill any harmful bacteria that may be present.

Make up feeds, one at a time, as your baby needs them.

Always use boiled water at a temperature of at least 70ºC, but remember to let the feed cool before you give it to the baby.

Bacteria multiply very fast at room temperature. Even when the feed is kept in a fridge, bacteria can still survive and multiply, although they do this more slowly. The risk of infection increases over time so that is why it is important to make up the feed only as your baby needs it.

Preparation and hygiene

A baby?s immune system is not as strong or as well developed as an adult?s. This means that babies are much more susceptible to illness and infection. Therefore, good hygiene is very important when making up a feed.

All equipment used to feed your baby must be sterilised. Bottles, teats and any other feeding equipment need to be cleaned and sterilised before each feed to reduce the chances of your baby falling sick or getting diarrhoea.

It is best to use boiled drinking water from the tap to make up a feed.
Do not use artificially softened water or water that has been previously boiled.

Bottled water

Bottled water is not recommended to make up a feed as it is not sterile and may contain too much salt (sodium) or sulphate. If you have to use bottled water to make up a feed, check the label to make sure the sodium (also written as Na) level is less than 200 milligrams (mg) per litre, and the sulphate (also written as SO or SO4) content is not higher than 250mg per litre. It is not usually sterile, so it will still need to be boiled, like tap water, before you prepare the feed.

A step-by-step guide to preparing a powdered-formula feed
Step 1 Fill the kettle with at least 1 litre of fresh tap water (don?t use water that has been boiled before).
Step 2 Boil the water. Then leave the water to cool for no more than 30 minutes so that it remains at a temperature of at least 70ºC.
Step 3 Clean and disinfect the surface you are going to use.
Step 4 It?s very important that you wash your hands.
Step 5 If you are using a cold-water steriliser, shake off any excess solution from the bottle and the teat, or rinse the bottle with cooled boiled water from the kettle (not the tap).
Step 6 Stand the bottle on a clean surface.
Step 7 Keep the teat and cap on the upturned lid of the steriliser. Avoid putting them on the work surface.
Step 8 Follow the manufacturer?s instructions and pour the correct amount of water that you need into the bottle. Double check that the water level is correct. Always put the water in the bottle first, while it is still hot, before adding the powdered infant formula.
Step 9 Loosely fill the scoop with formula, according to the manufacturer?s instructions, and level it off using either the flat edge of a clean, dry knife or the leveller provided. Different tins of formula come with different scoops. Make sure you use only the scoop that is enclosed with the powdered infant formula that you are using.
Step 10 Holding the edge of the teat, put it on the bottle. Then screw the retaining ring onto the bottle.
Step 11 Cover the teat with the cap and shake the bottle until the powder is dissolved.
Step 12 It is important to cool the formula so it is not too hot to drink. Do this by holding the bottom half of the bottle under cold running water. Make sure that the water does not touch the cap covering the teat.
Step 13 Test the temperature of the infant formula on the inside of your wrist before giving it to your baby. It should be body-temperature, which means it should feel warm or cool, but not hot.
Step 14 If there is any made-up infant formula left after a feed, throw it away.

Dos and don'ts
As manufacturers? instructions vary as to how much water and powder to use, it is important to follow the instructions very carefully.
Do not add extra powdered infant formula when making up a feed. This can make your baby constipated and may cause dehydration. Too little powdered infant formula may not provide your baby with enough nourishment.
Do not add sugar or cereals to the feed in the bottle.
Never warm up infant formula in a microwave as it can heat the feed unevenly and may burn your baby?s mouth.

From NHS

OriginalJamie · 19/02/2012 14:12

www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/making-up-formula.aspx

NHS advice. OP is right.

Makes FF a massive faff

Bunbaker · 19/02/2012 14:13

It's a wonder that DD survivde in the bad old days when we mixed up 24 hours worth of bottles in one go and kept them in the fridge to be reaheated when required.

Disclaimer - DD was BF until 6 months and then went on to formula.

MaryZ · 19/02/2012 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrahamTribe · 19/02/2012 14:17

It only makes FF a massive faff if you follow those current guidelines, Jamie. If I had another baby I'd do exactly as I did before, which is make up the feeds with cooled boiled water the night before, store in the fridge and use as required, taking with me when I went out and warming in the microwave as needed. Very little faff there.

BadPoet · 19/02/2012 14:19

I don't think you should have said anything, not your place (obviously I know that doesn't stop some people).

However you are right of course about how to make up formula. For some reason this message isn't getting across - the water and bottle can be as sterile as you like, but the formula isn't and never will be unless you use hot enough water. It is an enormous faff though and I've known lots of bottlefed babies, never seen anyone make every feed as recommended by the NHS and never personally heard of any serious gastric illness. Glad the risk is small.

I breastfed but once gave honey to my under 1 yo Shock, judging the risk v small there also.

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2012 14:19

When did it change?

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 19/02/2012 14:19

With all 3 of mine, the guidelines for formula have been different; with DD1 (13) we were told to make up feeds for 24 hours and store them in the fridge then heat them up as and when needed. With DD2 (7) advice was to do as the mother the OP is talking about did, ie keep bottles of cooled boiled water and add the formula powder. With DS (almost 3) advice was to make up each bottle individually when needed. I did option 1 with all 3 of mine.

OP you did the right thing not saying anything. If some stranger had approached me when I was post-natal and hormonal and told me I was doing something wrong then I would probably have told them to fuck off and punched them!!

ILoveGreggsSausageRolls · 19/02/2012 14:20

There are some specialised formulas that require cold water only, they must not be made up with hot water.

I think it's infasoy?

MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 19/02/2012 14:31

Inbetween DS1 and DS2 Sparklingbrook. That was confusing.

The NHS advice does say that as long as you use hot water to make up the feed then you can store them in the fridge.

Glittertwins · 19/02/2012 14:32

Very very unreasonable. We did the same with our pair with absolutely NO illnesses. I would have firmly told you to butt out.

OriginalJamie · 19/02/2012 14:34

Graham, I know. I ff both mine. I wonder if I'd have the confidence now to go against that advice, though. Probably wouldn't know about it if it weren't for this thread, mind you.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 19/02/2012 14:36

Am off to Starbucks will keep my eyes pealed for any formula feeding mothers to enlighten.....