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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit sad my dd wants her hair cut

71 replies

Molehillmountain · 14/02/2012 23:45

Its long, nearly waist length (on a six year old) and blonde and wavy. She has several sensible reasons for wanting it cut (not just that her best friends hair is short!) and I don't want to be completely dominant and pushy on these sorts of things. And it is a pain to brush. But I'm still sad. Aibu? And should I veto the haircut?

OP posts:

scurryfunge · 14/02/2012 23:47

Let her choose. It's only hair and it can grow again if she doesn't like it.

wantingmore · 14/02/2012 23:48

my dd 5 has hair the same lengh and has never had it cut yet. i would be sad too if she wanted it cut. at the moment she loves it. sorry no real advice but if it was me i probably wouldnt let her cut it.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 14/02/2012 23:48

Waist length is very long, I'm not surprised she wants it cut.

She could still have long and pretty hair, it just doesn't have to be that long.

workshy · 14/02/2012 23:49

it's natural you don't want it cut but you should still let her

the brilliant thing about hair is is grows -plus at 6 she should be getting more independant in terms of personal care and looking after her own hair is part of that -that will be much easier if it's shorter

and it doesn't need to be short, imaginary bra strap is a good middle ground and still 'long'

BertieBotts · 14/02/2012 23:51

Take lots of photos :)

Long hair is such a commitment, although it looks lovely. Would you grow your own hair that long and be prepared to put the work in? If not I think YABU to be sad about it, and YWDBU to veto it.

I think overall it is her decision. I loathe having long hair now I've had short. It seems to give me so much more time! 5 mins to wash, 10 to dry, compared to potentially hours and so much more brushing and styling and conditioning etc to worry about. I can wash my hair before bed! Or before leaving the house on a cold morning! I can dye it and it will grow out before I get bored of it! LOVE short hair.

workshy · 14/02/2012 23:53

have you thought about donating her hair if she is having a fair bit cut off?

might make the chop easier if you know it's going to a good cause

sashh · 15/02/2012 06:24

Your little girl is starting to show a bit of indipendance. Before she has it cut please have a look at little princesses

www.littleprincesses.org.uk/

you might feel less sad if you knew your daughter's hair was going to make a wig for a child with cancer.

leftmymistletoeatthedoor · 15/02/2012 06:44

Do NOT veto the haircut, my mum was 'in charge' of my hair until I was 12. I am still a bit resentful tbh! and then dyed it and cut it in every conceivable combination

That said, yanbu to feel sad about it. Ds is 5 and asked for a big boy haircut when he was 4 - ie short. He has gorgeous blonde hair which was curly at the ends i cried

Dd on the other hand needs to grow some hair - she is 16months - maybe you coukld send me your dd's hair for wig making purposes? On a serious note if she's getting it cut very short you can actually donate hair for wigs for kids with no hair for whatever reason.

OddBoots · 15/02/2012 06:49

My dd was about the same age when she wanted hers cut, I was a bit sad but went with it, I was amazed how cute she looked with shorter bobbed hair, it really suited her. She's now nearly 9 and growing it again but she liked it in a bob for a few years.

EirikurNoromaour · 15/02/2012 07:18

Don't veto it, that's not fair. I think donating it for wigs is a wonderful idea.

treadwarily · 15/02/2012 08:32

Be very proud that she has a strong sense of herself and the confidence to try something new. That is worth more than any length of hair.

Original poster

Molehillmountain · 15/02/2012 08:33

Definitely won't veto it! Have just looked again and waist length is a bit of an exaggeration but well down her back anyway. Think we'll book the hairdressers and have a lovely time! Will look at little princesses and see if there'd be enough.

OP posts:

ibizagirl · 15/02/2012 08:33

If your dd wants her hair cut, make sure you tell the hairdresser EXACTLY how much to cut off. Dd had her lovely long dark and thick hair cut last summer. We both said take about four inches off and i put my hand on dd's hair to show hairdresser. So as she started cutting i looked and almost died. She must have took off twice the amount. I said to hairdresser that it was too much and she said that she has to take off any split ends!! Of course, it had to be finished in that length. Dd was not happy and neither was I, but what could we say? As soon as we left the shop and got into my car dd burst into tears. It was awful. The hair looked ok but it just wasn't dd. Just make sure you say what you want and keep an eye on them.

Original poster

Molehillmountain · 15/02/2012 08:34

And I think it'll go well-gave her control of what she wears (from what she owns) and I love the outfits she puts together. She's got more style than I will ever have!

OP posts:

MissSayuri · 15/02/2012 08:57

Yes, take LOTS of photos, if only to show her when she's 16, like my dd, and has straightened, bleached and chopped the life out of it and 'would die' to have hair like that again

lurkinginthebackground · 15/02/2012 09:03

I think you should let her have it cut, just makes sure its not too drastic to begin with.

SilentBoob · 15/02/2012 09:04

Horrified at the idea of not letting a little girl choose to have short, practical hair. Would you make your son have very long hair to look cute?

My nearly 6 yr old daughter just got a most adorable little bob - up above the hairline at the nape of her neck. She looks bloody fabulous. And no long hair dramas and tangles any more. We are both loving that aspect.

In fact my 5 yr old daughter now has shorter hair than my 3 yr old son - both their own choice. The only rule in this house is that if you want long hair it must be kept cleanish and tied back when appropriate.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/02/2012 09:11

I'd love it if my 10.9 DD wanted her hair cut. We have arguments over it. I have withdrawn from any input. If she wants to look like a scarecrow it is her choice.
Hers is mid back length and her goal is to be able to sit on it. I have tried to explain about split ends and trimming but it goes in one ear and out the other.

NotWell · 15/02/2012 09:15

I regretted cutting my DDs hair at the same age....and so did she! It was annoying as she began to grow it back and it has never gotten as long. I know it sounds extreme but I would let her try one of those websites where you try on hairdo;s...upload her pic and show her how she will look.

MissSayuri · 15/02/2012 09:17

I know I'll be flamed for this but I don't like seeing wee girls with short hair. A bob can look lovely but it's all personal choice I suppose. I don't like short hair in general anyway, even on grown women.

ReallyTired · 15/02/2012 09:24

My ten year old son is insisting on growing his hair. We have had lots of criticism from friends and family as its at that horrible inbetweeny stage. I think that allowing children to decide their hairstyle is important. My mother insisted on short back and sides for me and I hated it. I looked dreadful as a five year old, but my mother couldn't be arsed to comb it. I would have loved long hair. However each to their own. I now have a long bob.

I think that donating the hair to make into a wig is a lovely idea.

Original poster

Molehillmountain · 15/02/2012 09:32

It wouldn't be very rational to veto, would it? Nor to be sad. Think she's got enough to donate which would be fabulous. Quite excited now.

OP posts:

Original poster

Molehillmountain · 15/02/2012 09:34

Oh no...just seen the "we regretted it" posts! Not going to be short short and it does cause tears when doing proper brush.

OP posts:

Cherriesarelovely · 15/02/2012 09:36

I think you should let her have her hair cut. It's her hair after all and it doesn't like she is suggesting anything outlandish! My DD is very lucky and has what I call "dreamy hair"! It is thick and all different shades of gold and blonde. She was in a play over christmas which meant that she had to have it endlessly brushed and pinned up and so in January she had it chopped off into a short bob. It looked great, just different. I liked the fact that she didn't feel she had to always look one way forever as it were just because people love her hair! However, she is now growing it long again as she said she "just doesn't feel like me"!

MissSayuri · 15/02/2012 09:39

I remember the tears well. My dd had platinum waist length thick wavy hair. Beautiful to look at but a nightmare in the mornings. She was really into drama when she was wee and she got it all hacked off into a jaw length bob to play Tallulah in Bugsy Malone when she was 10. I was heartbroken, but I think it was because she looked so grown up. Don't feel bad about being sad, just don't let her see how sad you are. Remember it will grow back, my dd had really long hair again by the time she was 12/13, grows like wildfire at that age!

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