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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit sad my dd wants her hair cut

71 replies

Molehillmountain · 14/02/2012 23:45

Its long, nearly waist length (on a six year old) and blonde and wavy. She has several sensible reasons for wanting it cut (not just that her best friends hair is short!) and I don't want to be completely dominant and pushy on these sorts of things. And it is a pain to brush. But I'm still sad. Aibu? And should I veto the haircut?

OP posts:

Flyingoutofcontrol · 15/02/2012 09:44

If you've got a good hairdresser, they should be happy to cut in stages. So they'd take an inch off (just a rough cut and not a full proper finished cut), and check with her whether she wanted more. And repeat until it's at a length she's happy with.

T'was the way my hairdresser did it when I was getting mine shorter, and it made all the difference - I could then judge if my mental image stacked up against reality. It also showed that with shorter hair, my hair curled - and thus if I'd cut it as short as I'd envisioned, it would be too short with the curl IYSWIM.

Good luck!

pootlebug · 15/02/2012 09:54

Well MissSayuri at least you're realistic in knowing you'll be flamed. Perhaps you'd like to tell your preferences on not liking short hair on little girls to my just-turned-four year old whose hair has still not grown even to shoulder length? Maybe you'd be one of those nice people we come across from time to time who says 'Well I thought she was a boy because she's got short hair?'

MissSayuri · 15/02/2012 10:04

Oh pootlebug I don't have a penchant for obese men either but I don't go and shout it in their face do I? I'll like and dislike what I choose thanks very much! There is such a thing called 'discretion' which humans are capable of showing. You sound more upset about your daughter's lack of hair than I imagine I am.

randommoment · 15/02/2012 10:16

YANBU to be sad, but she's old enough to have input into the decision. And it does grow back, honest!

lollopybear · 15/02/2012 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

startail · 15/02/2012 10:28

DD1 got the hairdresser to cut her mane into a long bob while I was sorting out her sister. She was 11/12.
I wasn't pleased, but had to accept she was old enough to choose.
Two years latter it's longer and thicker than it ever was, but she's learnt to brush it to the ends herself

startail · 15/02/2012 10:35

Oh and at six there's no need to worry. She'll grow it back to a length she can tie it up very quickly.
I had DD2s cut because it was messy glorified baby hair at about 6/7 and she now (10) was a longish bob.
She is absolutely firm that it is not to be cut again and spends ages playing with different styles.

applecrumbleandcream · 15/02/2012 10:51

Misssayuri what an odd and narrow minded comment to make about short hair! It's only hair after all, it will grow back and I think on little girls it looks stylish and shows they've got imagination to not follow the norm. Plus as another poster has said some girls just can't grow their hair long through a medical condition, do you not like theirs either?

redskyatnight · 15/02/2012 10:56

6 year old DD has just had her hair cut short(er). It means she can now easily brush it herself (it was previously too long for her arms to reach the ends). Definitely a plus point!

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 15/02/2012 11:00

I would be sad too, in fact I would probably just refuse to let my DD have her hair cut, which I know is probably very unreasonable but there you go.

My 7 year old has really long hair, past her bum, and my 5 year old has waist length hair. I love their long hair and like MissSuyuri I don't like short hair on girls. Sorry for those whose girls do have short hair it is just my opinion, we don't all have to be the same or like the same things.

I think if she does want it doine and you aren't keen then do as Lolloybear suggests and try to delay it a bit in case she changes her mind.

MissSayuri · 15/02/2012 11:02

Oh I forgot you're not allowed to have likes or dislikes on Mumsnet. Sheessh. What a boring monochrome world some of you reside in. I don't like the colour yellow, is that allowed? Get a grip.

DizzyDancing · 15/02/2012 11:03

Well maybe I'll be flamed for the opposite, but I don't like ridiculously long hair on little girls - think it generally looks a mess.

A neat style is much nicer - doesn't have to be really short, shoulder length or similar is lovely. The hair generally looks healthier too.

Have lots of friends with daughters of 3 or 4 with bobs and they look gorgeous.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 15/02/2012 11:04

I certainly woulnd't flame you for that, as I said we all like different things

bradbourne · 15/02/2012 11:07

MissSayuri is perfectly entitled to think whatever she likes about little girls with short hair/little boys with long hair/ladies with curly hair/men with no hair... It's an opinion about her personal preference. We are allowed to have those, aren't we?

I daresay that there are things that you dislike that MissSayuri likes.

As for me... I like to see little girls with long hair, but not as long as waist length. Is that allowed - or is someone going to be "offended" by that?

To the OP I would say that it has to be your daughter's decision, ultimately. But I would make sure she undersatnd it will take a while to grow back and would also agree with delaying a little (maybe two weeks or so) to make sure she doesn't change her mind.

Quenelle · 15/02/2012 11:15

My mum always forced me to have short back and sides. Whenever it came to haircut time she would bribe and coerce and bully until I gave in. I always hated it and still resent her for overriding my own preference for so long.

Having said that, I agree with DizzyDancing I think long hair can look rats taily if it's not very thick. I think little girls look lovely with a bob. I wouldn't force a daughter of mine to have a particular style or length though.

applecrumbleandcream · 15/02/2012 11:24

Of course it's personal choice, but a bit strong to say 'hate' short hair on little girls. That is in my opinion, am I allowed to say that?

PattiMayor · 15/02/2012 11:27

Do any of you have boy children?

I don't get really long hair on school aged children, seems a total pita

MissSayuri · 15/02/2012 11:29

Who said they hated anything?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/02/2012 12:50

My 9yo has bum-length hair, she loves it.
We had it cut to elbow length about 3 years ago and I was and couldn't wait for it to grow again, which it did.

When she wants to do something different then it's her choice.But at the moment, when I take her for routine trims, the hairdressers always exclaim at her "gorgeous hair" and how they were never allowed to have really long hair. One of the hairdressers asked if she could tie DDs hair in a French Plait (which DD loved)
I will make sure she has it cut in stages though,if she wants it shorter.

BTW DS has short hair-not a crop, but short- and I don't like long hair on boys.

cory · 15/02/2012 12:52

Imho it is important for a parent to realise when you are reaching the stage where it's not about your own personal likes or dislikes any more. I think if you can start by giving independence in little things like this at a fairly young age, it will help the transition into big independence, which is going to have to come sooner or later: loosen the reins gradually and it won't be such a sharp jerk.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/02/2012 12:53

My mother was one who "liked short hair on girls" and CBA to comb mine when I was little.
I remember -vividly- when I was about 6 or 7 her coming into my room with one of those razor combs and scalping me.
Went to school the next day like a fecking freak looking like someone with a headlice haircut.

That explains my long hair issues

Mumof1plustwins · 15/02/2012 13:07

YANBU
My DD's hair is past her bottom and she's 6!
Her dad doesn't ever want her to cut it but I just don't know.
I grew up with long hair but my 'mother' refused to allow me to get it cut and told me hairdressers will snip it all off!
She would only trim it herself if I bugged her. I didn't like my long hair- constantly caught nits and girls at school were jealous = mean.
When I left home I had it cut and now it's at a very manageable length and I love it (much to DHs disapproval!)

so far she doesn't want it cut because she loves Rapunzel so much so not sure that will last long...
I know I wont refuse her a cut because it's her choice but I won't let her cut it really short either!

gourd · 15/02/2012 13:19

Aw, I think I'd feel a bit sad too, but it's only hair - it will grow again! Waist length hair is hard work for anyone but especially a child. It must get awfully knotty. When we were kids my sister and I declared that we would never have our hair cut. Mine simply broke when it reached shoulder length (still does) so never realy got any longer, just looked tatty. My sister's hair grew till she would hurt herself accidentally sitting on it, and, as we were both active children, even with hair tied back it did get to the stage a few times where my Mum couldn't get a brush through it and would have to cut the knots out of it anyway! Much better to have shoulder length hair that can still be put up etc but is a lot easier to wash and manage.

BendyBob · 15/02/2012 13:29

Lol at the flack poor MissSayuri is getting. How very dare you say you don't like something on mn.

My own hair is v short. I'm tired of it being so short but now I'm trying to grow it it looks blimmin terrible. Oh the pain of growing out short hair

I have no major preferences but I can understand why Molehill feels sad. My dd has lovely hair and I'd be sad if she wanted to cut it, but if it's what she wants I wouldn't say no. I would suggest doing it in two or three stages though so it's not disasterously too short if she doesn't like it. It can be a big shock to go too short too quickly.

My ds (10) likes his longer. I prefer it short on boys but I've let him grow it, it's his hair after all, providing he has it in a bit of a style and keeps it clean and brushed. God what an uphill battle that is proving to be though

mrsjay · 15/02/2012 13:31

let her get it cut a little shorter i can remember having bum length hair I could sit on it , when i was younger i got it cut when i was about 10 , I hated it mum loved it the brushing is torture , let your DD get it cut if she wants , its only hair it will grow again ,

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