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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or ungrateful to think that a present of 2 nights B&B is a thoughtless present.

124 replies

LizziePizzie · 14/02/2012 15:45

Please don't get me wrong here, it is at a VERY nice posh spa hotel, but here in lies the problem. My husband and I are going to have to pay for food and any spa treatments. Its like a brilliant present but with a financial burden attached to it. We are being forced to spoil ourselves when we would rather just save money.

We wouldn't have chosen to spend money on ourselves in this way at all, but now booked, (over mothering sunday weekend so an excuse to spoil me!) we are looking forward to it!

OP posts:
MurmuringClothDoll · 14/02/2012 15:48

"My husband and I are going to have to pay for food and spa treatments"

Er....why? It is a B&B not a prison where you HAVE to use the treatments on offer as well as the restaurant!

And I don't get your post generally....you say you're not happy with it...then you say you'r'e loong forward to it. Make up your mind!

YABU!

piprabbit · 14/02/2012 15:48

Who is the present from?

trixie123 · 14/02/2012 15:48

who booked it for you? How aware are they of your finances? If its a really lovely hotel, you could do without spa treatments and just enjoy time away together from the DCs - and you don't have to eat in the hotel restaurant - print off a voucher and go to Pizza Express.

SydSaid · 14/02/2012 15:48

Is this some sort of wierd stealth boast?

Shineyoncrazydiamond · 14/02/2012 15:48

YABU!

cobwebthegrey · 14/02/2012 15:49

YABU and ungrateful too!

ZillionChocolate · 14/02/2012 15:49

Take sandwiches.

catgirl1976 · 14/02/2012 15:50

YABU - I think it is a lovely present

I do understand if your finances are tight it is difficult to get something like this if you can't afford to travel there or have a meal etc but I doubt the giver was aware of this and just wanted to give you a treat

Ilovedaintynuts · 14/02/2012 15:50

You're a bit weird.

stressheaderic · 14/02/2012 15:50

Last year, DP treated me to a night away for my birthday.
We'd had a takeaway pizza the night before at home but only eaten half, so we took it with us and polished it off for lunch in our v posh hotel room.
We know how to live, us.

EthelredOnAGoodDay · 14/02/2012 15:51

Is it a spa hotel where you can use the facilities (pool, sauna etc) for free without having a treatment? And you could always go out for fish and chips in the evening if you don't want to pay for a very expensive hotel meal...

mrsjay · 14/02/2012 15:51

I dont undrerstand you are moaning yet looking forward to it Confused you dont need to go to the spa you dont need to eat in the reasturant , you can go and have a lovely and non expensive weekend

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 14/02/2012 15:52

But you just said you are looking forward to it.

If you are going for Mothering Sunday will you be taking the children with you?

TimothyClaypoleLover · 14/02/2012 15:52

Lizzie - you normally have to pay extra for food and spa treatments at a hotel. Or you choose not to have the extras. Or you could take a picnic to have in the bedroom!

IMO I think its a lovely thoughtful present - having just come back from surprise night at hotel with DH for my birthday. Yes, we paid extra to have dinner but so what, we had a lovely time together and its not like we do it all the time.

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2012 15:52

Use it as a chance to detox and just drink water

AnyFucker · 14/02/2012 15:52

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?q=tiny+violin&hl=en&biw=1024&bih=546&tbm=isch&tbnid=cAlDgAFJVvNlMM:&imgrefurl=annahumphrey.com/blog/%3Fp%3D155&docid=q6ddS9fBilGqfM&imgurl=annahumphrey.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/tiny_violin1.jpg&w=516&h=387&ei=94I6T6LEDobHsgaP-ZXZBg&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=125&sig=113946450201745616851&page=1&tbnh=171&tbnw=214&start=0&ndsp=9&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&tx=73&ty=85" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this is for you, OP

JaneMare · 14/02/2012 15:56

YABU and ungrateful

take food and a bottle of massage oil?

NatashaBee · 14/02/2012 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spooktrain · 14/02/2012 15:59

My fave line in this OP is [sticks out petted lip for extra effect]:

We are being forced to spoil ourselves

LittlePebble · 14/02/2012 15:59

YABU I'll go instead if you want?

LittlePebble · 14/02/2012 16:00

AnyFucker Grin

birdsofshoreandsea · 14/02/2012 16:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dozer · 14/02/2012 16:04

Yanbu, is odd and over-personal to give gifts that require time / money to people other than partner without asking beforehand if it's something the receiver would appreciate. especially annoying as they've committed you to being away for mother's day. And, since it's expensive, will have to act all grateful when you didn't ask for it or want to do it.

Also don't like prescriptions for enjoyment, a spa hotel would not be my idea of "spoiling myself"!

Dozer · 14/02/2012 16:04

Bet it's a gift from parents or in-laws whose agenda is to have time with the grandkids!

Original poster
LizziePizzie · 14/02/2012 16:05

OK OK - point taken - although I think I didn't quite use the right words to explain how I am feeling.

The people who bought my DH this present are a lot better off than us. I am looking forward to it as we will probably be making the most of the gift and hotel. What I am asking is that, its a bit like being given a present that you have to contribute to, which isn't my idea of a present at all.

Yes we can get sandwiches or take away or pizza express, and not have any spa treatments, but what is the point in going to a spa hotel if you are not going to use the 'extra' facilities?

If someone said would you like to go to a spa hotel for 2 nights, or a city break, we would have chosen the city break. We would have chosen anything other than the spa hotel.

OP posts: