or ungrateful to think that a present of 2 nights B&B is a thoughtless present.

[LizziePizzie]

Please don't get me wrong here, it is at a VERY nice posh spa hotel, but here in lies the problem. My husband and I are going to have to pay for food and any spa treatments. Its like a brilliant present but with a financial burden attached to it. We are being forced to spoil ourselves when we would rather just save money.

We wouldn't have chosen to spend money on ourselves in this way at all, but now booked, (over mothering sunday weekend so an excuse to spoil me!) we are looking forward to it!

Spa treatments don´t appeal to me.

But I could happily spend a weekend sashaying between pool, hot tub & sauna.

OP-have you googled to check meal prices & where it is in terms of shops/pubs/scenic walks if you want to get out & about/not take supplies with you?

Yab stone bonking U. Agreed you have to get yourselves there but after that why do you have to spend anything more than normal. I stay in spa hotels a few times each year and you don't have to pay for anything extra.

The pool, sauna and gym are usually included in the price and you've got breakfast as well. All you need to do is go out for a nice pub meal like you may do at home.

I do not understand any of your rationale towards this lovely gesture.

I can understand where you are coming from OP , if you are skint then even buying sandwiches or pizza is a struggle

YANBU

It's like they had a nice idea and haven't thought it through. A present that you have to pay a load of money to use is a bit of a strange present, especially if you haven't got any money.

Bit like if someone said to us "we've bought you flights to new zealand!" we'd be like, um, ok, thanks, but what are we expected to do with them?

I would say YANBU, I would not appreciate this sort of gift either, I know I'm ungrateful, but I think giving a gift that dictates how the recipient spends both their time and money is no gift at all. I would really resent being given this, even if it was done with the best intentions.

Consider selling it. Dh and I sometimes go to a spa hotel, but have never done any spa treatments at all. We began to stay there before it was a spa, but new owners changed it into a spa. We would spend the day in the town shopping, eating and just enjoying time away from home. We do eat dinner and breakfast there, but have also eaten in restaurants in the town.

The rooms are expensive, so if someone wanted to sell us their gift certificate for half price, we would be thrilled and snatch them up.

I don't like grand gestures. In my experience they're often more about the giver than the recipient.

I'm in two minds.

It is nice in that you can go away somewhere you wouldn't normally go.

It's not nice if it's b&b for a weekend. Ok if a single night.

I think to try and change the deal with the hotel is a good idea.

I will admit spa vouchers with conditions ARE tricky - I was given a spa day for 'me and a friend' as a leaving present, but on reading the small print I realised what we got for the money was entry to the spa and 1 treatment included in price (i.e. my friend would have to pay for a treatment herself).

My closest friend lives several hours away from me and would have to pay to travel to where I live so we could use the voucher together, so I didn't think it was fair to ask her to pay for her own treatment! When I booked the spa day, I arranged for her to have a treatment as well as me, and had to sneakily pay for it when we arrived on the day, hoping she didn't twig what was happening.

However - the point is that the people who bought me the present probably didn't realise what the small print implied, to them it was a nice present for me and I got to take a friend too. The gesture was well-meant, just because not all implications were thought through is not really the giver's fault.

stewiegriffinsmum I know exactly where you and the OP are coming from. When you are truly skint then £20 might as well be £2 million, if you haven't got it.
Having said that I suppose the friends who gave the gift may not understand that so I expect they meant well. It's like a lot of gifts, sometimes they aren't what we want but we just have to be polite and gracious.

All you need to do is go out for a nice pub meal like you may do at home.

oh is that all? And when a budget is stripped to the bone already, where is the money to come from?

I agree that many of the YABU-ers really dont know what its like to have every penny accounted for and absolutely no spare cash for treats in anyway.

If it's that terrible for you, I'll happily take it off your hands?

I certainly don't think you can call the present thoughtless OP, infact I would say that thought has gone into it.

This is the kind of present that I would love but if you are skint I can understand your relutance as you can't make the most of the facilities at the hotel.

It's the same as any other present in that some people would love it, some would not, but with other presents you can politely say thank you and then quietly re-gift to someone else or whatever, with this the recipient is obliged to spend the money and time whether they really want to or not. I would never give anyone an experience as a present without consulting them first in case it was something they really didn't want to do, even if it cost them nothing.

Who would have paid for your meals on the City Break you seem to have set your heart on? That surely would have been just B & B too???

You have had 9 months to save up for a spa treatment each. If you are guests at the hotel, you can avail yourself of swimming pool, sauna, steamroom, etc. Gorgeous showers, lovely bath products, lush bathrobes to wear and slippers.
Surely it would have been possible the last 9 months to save £10 (£2.50 per week) for a least one spa treatment each? In the day time, go for walks, find a nice country pub, or fish and chips for your meals. Bring fruit and youghurt in to the room for a picnic in bed. This is what we do when we go on weekend trips, we never eat in any hotel (as it is farking expensive) other than the breakfast.

I think you are lacking in imagination, the opposite of pro-active about this, and quite frankly sound spoilt and ungrateful.

I will take the break off your hands. If money is an issue, I can pay you a tenner or two?

And not to mention use of the GYM!!!

Bogeyface - have I missed a post - where does the Op say their budget is stripped to the bone? As far as i can see she says they would rather save the money?

She didnt, I was illustrating my point that receiving a gift that means you have to spend money may not be much of a gift at all if you are skint.

Very ungrateful