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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with dd1 teacher.

558 replies

lisad123 · 10/02/2012 17:03

I know this is likely to kick off because it's about religion, but hopefully it won't.

We a family we don't celebrate Xmas or birthdays ect. Both dds have been brought up this way and it's never been an issue to anyone (beside PIL but that's another thread)!

Dd1 is 9 and at Xmas her teacher kept making comments about Xmas being the most wonderful time ever, if you don't celebrate your missing out on something special and wonderful and no child should miss xmas. I let it wash as we were taking girls away over Xmas so dd1 wasn't fussed.

Yesterday, someone in her class was giving out birthday sweets. Dd1 refused as she knows we don't join in celebrating bdays. It's never been an issue, we have plently of sweets. Her teacher made a comment and told her it was ok, she should have one and I would never know! Shock dd1 still refused and told me what teacher had said.
When she came out today she told me her teacher had put sweets in her tray, and told her they weren't bday sweets so she could eat them.
Now Friday is the only day we have sweets because she is a sugar addict and gets ratty and obsessive if we allow too many sweets.

So I spoke to the teacher and he said he felt sorry for her and didn't think it was fair. I explained that I understand that but this is our choice and he told me in future he would try not to say anything but he did feel sorry for her Hmm
She wants for nothing and I'm very proud of her for standing up so well to her beliefs.

I'm wondering if she was a religion that didn't eat meat if he would have such a problem.

So am I unreasonable to be upset with him?

OP posts:
PattiMayor · 11/02/2012 14:30

GossipMonger: Is it not true that they thought the world was going to end in 1914, 1925, and 1975? Is that not making things up? Or is it just reading things into the bible that aren't actually there?

GossipMonger · 11/02/2012 14:35

I think that people were doing some maths and got it wrong but it was NEVER JW headquarters that said the world would end in 1975!

Dunno about the 1925 or 1914.

God had a purpose in the beginning when he created the earth.

Adam and Eve sinned against God and sin came into the world.

God's purpose has not changed. He still wants people to live forever on earth and all that JW's do is want to help people realise this.

I dont think they should be constantly criticised esp on Mumsnet.

DavidaCottonmouth · 11/02/2012 14:37

It's a cult, gossip. Everyone in orthodox Christianity knows this.

That's why they have such fearful doctrine.

Original poster
lisad123 · 11/02/2012 14:44

1914 was predicted to be a change point in the world, which it was! Start of wars like never seen before
Thank you for your kind offer, but don't need help to leave, because I don't want to.

As for things like rules ect. Everything is decided by the bible, where ever possible. If there is no clear guidelines, it's up to you to decide personally with study and prayer.

Your right I shouldn't have asked on here about religious decision, but that's not what i posted about! Also why I didn't include my. Beliefs in op, because I have met enough rude and unkind people in my life.

Some home educate, some don't. For those that say we cut yourself off, how is it that we go and knock on doors? If we were an included cult as some suggested, why would we be openingly offering to share our beliefs with others.

OP posts:
misdee · 11/02/2012 14:44

jw's always get the hardhest reaction on here

Feminine · 11/02/2012 14:50

I have SO much to say on this matter, unfortunately I can't.

I will say that the pain the JW 'doctrine' has left on my husband(a non-witness) is truly heartbreaking.

I have researched the teachings of the WATCHTOWER for many, many, years.

Your average witness has no idea of what goes on.

gossip if you really knew anything about JWs you would know that even posting here (especially in this way) is frowned upon. Posting here would bring reproach on Jehovah...and I agree Davida that is why they are 'discouraged' from reading anything other than Witness publications...

Fearful is right.

GossipMonger · 11/02/2012 14:52

All the JW kids at our school are great!

Christmas stuff - do snow pictures

Easter - spring chicks or lambs

Not a big deal at all. They do not mind not going to religious assemblies and actually most do not mind about birthdays. They are always clean and tidy with good supportive parents and want for nothing. They usually have one or two present days per year. They celebrate anniversaries and weddings and have loads of parties and get to gethers.

Completely normal!

Feminine · 11/02/2012 14:53

op please do some reading.

Some reading, that has not come, hot off the press from Brooklyn.

GossipMonger · 11/02/2012 14:54

Why would posting on here bring reproach upon Jehovah?

What utter tosh!

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 11/02/2012 14:56

I'm an orthodox Christian (unless I mis-understand what this means, I am CofE) I don't know that JW is a cult. How could I when I don't know enough about it? I also don't know that there is a God, I believe that there is, but I don't know

Feminine · 11/02/2012 14:56

gossip I agree.

Most witnesses do deal with B'days.

My own Mother (JW) sends me something on mine.

The children do not lead deprived lives, but their hearts can be truly messed up as adults...

Feminine · 11/02/2012 14:57

gossip anything like this is taught that it will do.

How much do you know about JW's?

Family members?

misdee · 11/02/2012 15:02

no it isnt.

stop spouting such nonsense. there are a few jw's on here.

Feminine · 11/02/2012 15:05

What isn't?

GossipMonger · 11/02/2012 15:09

I know what I need to know and I know that a lot of nonsense is said about JW on here.

misdee · 11/02/2012 15:10

that posting on here qwould bring reprouch upon jehovah.

lisad123 didnt state her religion in the OP, for a reason. she wanted views on the situation.

Feminine · 11/02/2012 15:15

op didn't need to state her religion.

It was bloody obvious.Confused

This is not a question one takes to a secular site.

Gossip well nothing I have said is nonsense. I know my stuff on this-believe me!

Feminine · 11/02/2012 15:17

Oh, and Gossip, what you "need to know" is quite frankly, not enough.

Go read...

GossipMonger · 11/02/2012 15:18

'Your average witness has no idea of what goes on.'

What does that even mean?

misdee · 11/02/2012 15:23

oh its all secrecy gossip.

tbh most witnesses are lovely, and can make up their own mind about religion. why do u think you can fall away?

there are some right nutters in there, same as any other religion, and some use it as an excuse to do as they please etc etc. but its not that bad.

its not for me, hasnt been for a while, but i respect it and peoples choices to follow it as i do any other religion

featherbag · 11/02/2012 15:24

My parents became JWs when I was 2, my dad was made an elder when I was about 9. I left the faith at 14 as I couldn't reconcile my ambitions for life with the faith. I never thought JWs' beliefs were wrong, cruel, evil or any of the other words used on this thread to describe them, but they weren't for me.

I have my own DS now, and while I maintain the JW lifestyle isn't for me and my family, I entirely understand why my parents thought they were doing the right thing - I would do anything to protect my child, and they genuinely believed that living life as JWs was the best thing they could do for me. So, I disagree with what they did, but not why they did it. I bear them no resentment at all, and while I was bullied mercilessly at school, my memories of a JW childhood are happy ones, as part of loving and safe community with plenty of celebration and activities.

Coral, you sound like you have 'issues' with Jehovah's Witnesses bordering on bigotry. They are not cruel, or evil, they honestly and genuinely believe they are doing what is best for their children, both now and for eternity. I disagree with all organised religion, especially when foisted upon children - but I disagree with them all equally. I don't think a child should have any beliefs forced upon them, but I don't think that how acceptable those beliefs are to wider society should come into it. I would have just as much of a problem with a child being raised as staunch Catholic as I would with JW, Muslim or any other faith. I think a major life decision such as choosing a religion can only be done properly by an informed adult.

Having said that, I would defend anyone's right to practise whatever religion they choose to without persecution from others.

Feminine · 11/02/2012 15:25

Again Gossip go and read up.

I have no idea how much you associate with Jw's?

op should have taken her concern to an Elder or maybe a sister...

op knows how it works when she asks her children to opt out, she knows why she does it....the answer is already there.

The only thing she can do (if this is what she believes) is to reinforce it at home.

There are support groups for ex-witnesses for a reason.

I must say, I still have many family members who are still in the truth'and I love them very much. They are not bad people at all, just misinformed.

GossipMonger · 11/02/2012 15:29

Am really not sure what you want me to read up on!

Original poster
lisad123 · 11/02/2012 15:40

I did plenty of reading while away from
JW, visited other churches ect.
I am neither brainwashed or in a cult. My girls are fine, polite and kind.
They will make their own choices when old enough. While they are young I will raise them in a way that I feel is right and instilled good moral values an respect for others.
I have tried to answer most peoples questions but some have an issue with my faith. That is their choice.

OP posts:
Original poster
lisad123 · 11/02/2012 15:42

And thank you gossip and misdee.
I'm pretty sure of these comments had been said about any other religion that there would be major outrage.

OP posts:
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