to ask if you met your soulmate?

[weddingringdilemma]

I realised with a jolt the other day at age 38, married with 4 children, that I didn't.
Eh and I get on ok, and when we first met I did think he was my One. If there is such a thing, and I still believe there us. But if it weren't for the children I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be together... He has no conversation, at least for me, though I love talking, chatting, discussing stuff. It's like getting blood out of a stone talking to him though he lights up around other people. We have little in common, he loves the outdoors, camping etc, which I don't. I'm pretty sure he finds my interests such as craft and shopping boring and shallow. Sometimes when we fight I can tell he truly dislikes me, and I feel the same way. We don't fight often, and get on well sometimes. But there's no way he's my soulmate...if he exists, I'm never going to meet him now as I would never leave my marriage and break up our family.

LeQueen I quite liked your 'sliding scale' theory until I read your definitions and realised DH and I are more around 24/25 than 1-5!

OP. I knew my 'soul mate' a long time ago. I still miss him, he's no longer with us.
However, my DH is my partner in life.

I met 'the one', friend of a friend on a night out. Trouble was, he was involved with someone else. He became the one I would compare other guys to and they always fell short.

Two years later, he looked me up. He was single, I was single and that was that.

LeQueen in that case, I agree entirely with your (genius :) ) theory.
And I will be happy with my number 25!

I think the concept of 'soul mate' is juvenile.

Sometimes I wish I could chuck him, LeQ, but unfortunately he is definitely in my top 1-3. (Roughly. I'd say he's 1, but don't want to be narrow-minded.) I just can't be doing without the man, really.

I'm not sure I believe in soul mates really. I think with me, my partner is the first person I have felt like this about... its love, but kind of assumed love too it doesn't smack me in the face every day but I subconsciously think of him in everything I do and he is automatically the first person who I think to share things with. I love him in a way I know I haven't loved before and am also much more confident and comfortable with him than others, and also completely believe he loves me. I've never had that before.

I don't know if I would say this makes us "soul mates" though. I think it just means I'm in love with him?

Marie I'd understand if you had said you find the expression 'soul mate' juvenile but the concept? :(

I have met the only man on the planet who would put up with me, yet remain assertive.

Does a soul mate agree with everything you say/do? I wouldn't agree with myself.

Bloody hell LeQueen you've just described me! :o

I believe in soulmates, but I don't believe we have just one, and I don't believe that the experiences we have with them can be pigeonholed either. Some soulmate relationships can be fraught, others easy.

I murmur a lot when he talks about work. "Ah, mmmm..." or "Oh, hhhmmm..."

If he ever asks me a question about what he's said I'm fecked.

Of course he probably does the same when I describe my ASD student's newest and most hilarious conniption...but OTOH, no. My stories are fascinating.

I mean, a five year old girl in a frenzied time out screeching "HEY! I NEED HELP OVER HERE, YOU ASSHOLE!" at a bewildered (and quite handsome) delivery man is hysterical. It just is. :o

I believe in soul mates but I don't think you only ever have one soul mate and neither do I believe that your soul mate is always your partner. They can be a very good friend who helped you during a most difficult time etc. Sometimes it's a friend you make at that specific time and then lose all contact again but their part in your life was important. Your partner, whether you get on well with them or not can be a soul mate - especially if you have children and clearly helped create a very important part of your life.

I think people are mislead by what a soul mate actually means.

However, for those that don't believe in one at all then that's obviously perfectly fine grin]

I have been married twice and the 1st time was just far, far too young and a really bad choice.

No 2 was fine, but we grew bored and started to bicker. Nothing that couldn't be fixed but I stopped having sex with him and he stopped bringing home his pay check.

10 years on from that divorce and I have never found anyone as good and he has found true love (without kids).

It's almost impossible to be happy as larry with kids around.

I always tell my disgruntled married friends that life is NOT greener on the other side. If you don't actively want to kill your OH keep at it.

I wish I had.

Ive found my soul mate, best mate, the one, whatever you want to call it. Ive known him for 12 years, been married for 7. Have two kids that are 4 and 3 and we are still very much in the honeymoon period.
I dont think anyone should settle for anything less!

I think it's quite sad how many of you seem to settle for 2nd best and trundle along in mediocre relationships.

southstar ditto. How he puts up with me I'll never know! But we are probably the most content couple of all our friendship group. I knew he was The One two years before we even started dating. Many a partner you could live with, you keep the one you can't live without.

Smug alert.

Well, trois, I can beat that! I knew I loved him before I met him!