to wonder why you don't see as many handsome men with plain women...

[salamanda]

as you do plain men with pretty women?

And when you do, do you wonder what he is doing with her and secretly think there is something odd about it?

There are more rich plain men than rich plain women?

That doesn't quite explain it. None of my acquaintance are rich in the slightest, but there are plenty of average looking men with hot women among them, and only one couple where the man is far more attractive than the woman.

I see loads of good looking men with women I think are meh!
Usually, the women are sort of attractive, but really boring looking.
Happens aaall the time.

That isn't my experience. My husband was a total hottie when we got together (in student day) but I am distinctly average - albeit with a lively personality and dress sense that somewhat masks by 'meh'ness in the looks department.

In my lovely husband's case, he lacks self confidence, poor guy! However we have been together nearly 20 years because in the end it is personality that counts.

I've known a fair few plain women who have married very good looking men. The 2 that spring to mind were both very forceful personalities.

I would suspect that most of those stunning women look just as average as anyone else when they are stripped down to no make up, no fake lashes, no hair extensions...

Women are often described as the fairer sex, so if generally we are better looking than men there is bound to be mismatches. I think women make more effort as well...I know some girls who look stunning dressed up and with make-up on, but quite scary in a morning! We can change our looks more easily where it's harder for men.

Where can I find a total hottie with low self esteem..?

I'm not sure really but on a different note...

I've noticed lately how many young couples there are (under 25) who have babies/toddlers and the girl/woman is massively overweight, whereas the boy/man is not.

I don't just mean a few extra pounds from pregnancy, but hugely fat. I noticed this last summer when I went to a caravan camp for a week and I found it just very strange.

Of course I wouldn't know if they were overweight before pregnancy or if it was due to it, but it was much rarer years ago to see such a big difference in a young couple.

My dh was a rugby playing total hottie, 7 years younger than me when we married.

Shall I ask him?

squeaky it's a theory but I still think it's more common to see genuinely pretty women with plain men than the other way around. None of my friends go in for fake lashes/tans/extensions and I am basing my thinking on them.

My friend's beautiful, beautiful son (model/film actor standard) has been dating a plain-ish woman much older than him for ages. She is quite glamorous, but not particularly pretty - rather mean-faced. She definitely fits SarahS's theory about forceful personalities though.

DH thinks it is because women are less arsed about physical attractiveness than men. I'm not sure about that, as physical attraction has always been important to me. Actually, I would probably consider DH to be the more attractive one of us.

Pag, only ask him if you're a minger

I'm pretty, my DH is plain.

But my DH has a massive cock

I think attractiveness is still considered much more of a defining characteristic for women than it is for men.

Random example off the top of my head: sports personalities. Much more attention is paid to say Serena Williams's appearance than to Andy Murray's despite the fact that both are top level tennis players.

But physical attraction is partly about a (mostly unconscious) desire to find a partner who is able to provide for any children is it not?

DP is hot. But then, so am I. Does that help at all?

I shall ask him first thing tomorrow morning. Before my cup of coffee.

Ooh, I've got a forceful personality!

flywiththecrows

maybe most people just aren't so shallow interested in looks as they are in the rest of the package?

I think calling someone plain is not very nice

I'm not sure it is, Callisto. I am attracted to men with dark red hair and slightly wonky teeth. All of my serious boyfriends have been ginger and gappy-toothed. How on earth does that go with providing for anything?

Even more so, my friend's son. He is still in his 20s and is with a woman who is of an age where conception would be difficult.

I know the answer to this.

Because it is very very easy to make yourself look passably attractive, as a woman.

If you looked at men and women in their 'natural state', I reckon the attractiveness ratios would be like, 50:50.

But what we have is men more or less in their natural state (limited access to different/flattering clothes, don't tend to dye their hair, cannot accentuate good body bits as well as women, rarely if ever are able to cover spots etc.), and women in a far more enhanced state - heels, good bras, highlights, makeup, had their colours done, etc. etc.

That is my theory, it is mine, and it is correct.

Scarlett I think you're right! I am hideous in my 'natural state'.