to wonder why you don't see as many handsome men with plain women...

[salamanda]

as you do plain men with pretty women?

And when you do, do you wonder what he is doing with her and secretly think there is something odd about it?

I have noticed that American films and sitcoms often show frankly unpleasant looking men going out with model types.

Just generally, they are not playing rich men.

Like in seinfield. The little overweight one was always going out with pretty women whom he found fault it. they were always waaaaaaaay out his league and noone seemed to notice

They did the same in Shallow Hal. Jack Black may be funny but he aint no Denziel Washington is he? He played some deadbeat with a crap personality in that but always had beautiful girlfriends.

Do you think that is because the shows are made by men? Perhaps? Maybe?

Here is a question I've often wondered. Of course, attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, and I believe is really linked to personality (for example I have a friend who you wouldn't call attractive but as soon as she talks she lights up the room, so everyone loves and fancies her). But say you're not the hottest person in the world - you know you probably can't get with someone really hot, so do you just naturally fancy other unhot people? Or do you fancy hot people but know you'll never get with them?

Like in seinfield. The little overweight one was always going out with pretty women whom he found fault it. they were always waaaaaaaay out his league and noone seemed to notice

Yeah, that was pretty much the whole point wasn't it, that was the joke!

Well yes paranoid but how did he get them in the first place?

WHY didnt anyone say 'how the hell do you get those women to go out with you when you is soooooo ugly?'

All the girlfriends in those shows and films look like models whilst the men look like - well - charlie sheen [bluegh].

The only remotely normal looking women are the quirky, funny, 'friends'.

I don't really watch american sitcoms apart from the simspons but i agree that homer scored above his weight with marge as well and I know the simpsons is written by a man.

MrsDeVere I kind of fancy Charlie Sheen

I think the phenomenon you describe stems from the fact that yes, the shows are made by men so they depict situations they like to see, and, what's worse, they only hire very attractive women to act in their shows - doesn't matter whether or not they can act, they just have to look good in tight clothes.

Agincourt

And Marge isn't a natural blue.

PushyDad is that your genuine opinion or are you just speaking in cliches?

An opinion based on listening to Guy Talk down at the pub. When was the last time you heard a guy go - 'Cor! Look at her funny personality. I wouldn't mind having a bit of that' :)

kickingking

I could write almost everything you just said in your post...

...except Im 26

I think it was Coco Chanel who said there is no such thing as an ugly woman - only a lazy one. Mind you, I don't think she'd ever seen the Jezza Kyle Show.

Overall I think it's true that women do make a lot more effort to beautify themselves and improve their appearance. Although there are exceptions, most men aren't really big into preening. Hence, it's usually the woman in the partnership that looks better.

I think many women also prefer a sense of humour over good looks. So if there iso an obvious looks discrepancy, I think he's either rich or a funny fucker.

My DH is DDG....but he's shy and can be dull. I'm very plain but fucking amazing in bed and look after him very well. It works for us, we are nauseatingly happy!

yellowRainCoat I do believe, based on my hazy memory of studying the psychology of love and attraction at uni, that people are mostly attracted to people who have a similar level of attractiveness as themselves, or, while being able to identify people who are very attractive, and fancying them (e.g pin up stars) they usually choose to have relationships with people of equal attractiveness, and these are the relationships that last longer.

I do think, sometimes, a very attractive woman might be with a plainer man because she has low self esteem and doesn't realise that she has looks, so she is attracted to men who she thinks are in the same league as her looks-wise, and maybe the reason you see less men with plainer partners is because not as many men have low self-esteem with regard to their looks and are more accurate at placing themselves in the right league.

Studies have found that most women rate themselves less attractive than people of the opposite sex rate them, and most men rate themselves as more attractive than people of the opposite sex rate them.

Very interesting.

Based on this thread, overmydeadbody there are plenty of MNers who consider themselves hotter than their husbands

I do think, sometimes, a very attractive woman might be with a plainer man because she has low self esteem and doesn't realise that she has looks, so she is attracted to men who she thinks are in the same league as her looks-wise, and maybe the reason you see less men with plainer partners is because not as many men have low self-esteem with regard to their looks and are more accurate at placing themselves in the right league

^^ that.

flywiththecrows same as me and mine.

I will always think of you as flywithcocks in future though

My husband is tall, dark, attractive and very fit. I, on the other hand, am a short, round, plain couch potato.

We make each other laugh. I cook him dinner and he buys me shoes. A match made in heaven. :o

It depends on age too though. DH was a bit funny looking when we met at university but I was gorgeous. Now he has really grown into his looks and is very striking, me not so much.

"women are attracted by personality first and then looks. Just my opinion."
No, pushy dad, those are the men you say you "like just as a friend".
The good looking ones are the ones you are instantly attracted by. A man can win you over with "a good personality" but it's not usually the first thing that attracts.

I'm with you on the short guys yellowraincoat. I actively enjoy a shorty.

Maybe they just like each other ?

My very stunning friend is engaged to a bloke with a face like a gnarled turnip, she has a god job in a solicitors....he's a taxi driver. They've known each other since school, had a baby last year and utterly worship each other.

Quite sweet really.

Also, men age better than women, I think, for a lot of men, they are far more attractive in their 30s and 40 than they were in their teens of twenties (that is, if they haven't got fat)

My OH is v.good looking.

I think that by the time we are in our 60s I will be better looking than him.

More options you see - hair salons, make up etc.

I am going to be a very glam granny. Not in a TOWIE way. I mean all shampoo and sets and smart frocks.

I am looking forward to it

University beauty, sat at the bar one day, you know the sort, really long hair, constantly being flicked in a 'notice me' manner, legs up to armpits, continually being crossed and uncrossed. Says, very loudly to bar manager, what on earth is he (points at dh) going out with her for?

Dh without even looking up, said because when she's lost her looks, she'll still be funny and clever.
I loves Dh, I does, 20 years later, here we are.