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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be a bit peeved about DH taking a day off work for his best mate's bday?

111 replies

RubyWho · 06/02/2012 19:59

I probably am, but thought I'd Ask Mumsnet anyway.
DH is taking a day off this week for his best friend's birthday. Aw, lovely.
But...he didn't bother to do this with mine, even though I asked him (had a 5wk old DD and 19mo old DS at the time and some help would have been nice...)
He's pretty busy at work atm and is working late all this week to be able to take the time off.

I think I am probably really jealous. There is an evening do too, haven't been invited as I am "tied to the baby". (frIend's words, not mine)

OP posts:
JustHecate · 06/02/2012 20:03

I was going to say you are being unreasonable and if he can take a day off, why shouldn't he.

Until I read that he wouldn't do it for you.

At which point I changed my mind. That's not on at all.

Flubba · 06/02/2012 20:03

Ooh, I was all ready to say YABU, but then saw that he didn't bother for you even though you asked him to Shock

YANBU to be jealous. I'd be jealous and sad too :(

melatoon4 · 06/02/2012 20:04

I would have said YABU until I read "but he didn't bother to this for mine, even though I asked him".

YANBU I'd be a bit miffed if DH did that. Not on for you to not be invited either, you could have got a babysitter.

toddlerama · 06/02/2012 20:04

YANBU to be peeved. HAve you pointed out to him that he refused to do it for yours?

Original poster
RubyWho · 06/02/2012 20:04

I am so sad! I sound like a loser but I'd love to have him around during the week. I could nap! Amazing!

OP posts:
ABatInBunkFive · 06/02/2012 20:05

YANBU

rubyslippers · 06/02/2012 20:05

Yanbu

That would make me sad too

Original poster
RubyWho · 06/02/2012 20:06

Unfortunately, friend is right- I AM tied to DD; breastfeeds all the sodding time and won't take a bottle. Bah, humbug.

OP posts:
Original poster
RubyWho · 06/02/2012 20:08

toddlerama I did point it out, he said "But we couldn't have done much anyway, what with the kids..."

HEADDESK. I don't begrudge him time with his friends at all, but I'm a Sad Panda all the same.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 06/02/2012 20:09

yanbu

Flubba · 06/02/2012 20:11

He's selfish.

DodieSmith · 06/02/2012 20:11

YANBU

Yeahthatsnotgonnahappen · 06/02/2012 20:14

Well that was just a shitty thing to say. "ah cheers hon, so rather than you helping me out on my bday I'll just slog it out on my own on my bday

Grrr....

toddlerama · 06/02/2012 20:14

I would be sad too. It's not about whether you could 'do anything', he could have improved your day by being there. Him taking a day off for his mate's birthday is all about him having a fun day with his mate isn't it, not liking his mate more or wanting to give his mate a special day. Both decisions are entirely selfish.

AnyFucker · 06/02/2012 20:16

is he 15yo ?

OffMeTrolley · 06/02/2012 20:17

tbh wouldnt be much of a treat to do it for yours would it, he would just be expected to do chores as you say

at least with his mates birthday he will have some fun :)

Original poster
RubyWho · 06/02/2012 20:17

He wishes! Late 30s.

OP posts:
DorothyGherkins · 06/02/2012 20:17

Do you know who this friend is?

Original poster
RubyWho · 06/02/2012 20:18

If you call spending time with your wife and DCs for the day a chore...

OP posts:
Original poster
RubyWho · 06/02/2012 20:20

Yes. He is the DC's godfather, him and DH have known each other for donkeys years. This will be the first time DH has ever taken a day off for him.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 06/02/2012 20:23

It's the lack of parity which is galling

It would wind me up too

You are right to be peeved when y have 2 young children and your H won't take time on your birthday but he will to his best mate

AnyFucker · 06/02/2012 20:23

what are they planning to do with this unprecedented, fun-filled, bromantic day then ?

DorothyGherkins · 06/02/2012 20:23

And The Godfather really rather you didnt join in the celebrations?

tardisjumper · 06/02/2012 20:24

He is a wanker. I was thinking about posting a bromance thread in aibu recently too.

Is he under pressure for his friend to do this? I have had probs in the past with DP agreeing to unreasonable requests by friends but not agreeing to similar (though obv not unreasonable as I am GF) things with me, as he can talk to me about why he doesn't want to do it and 'I'll understand.
Is he a softie or is he taking the piss? That is the question!

Original poster
RubyWho · 06/02/2012 20:25

Christ knows. Spooning and watching Desperate Housewives? Oh no, wait, thats what I wanted to do ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I think something involving The Great Outdoors. Or cars. Dunno.

OP posts: