...to be a bit peeved about DH taking a day off work for his best mate's bday?

[RubyWho]

I probably am, but thought I'd Ask Mumsnet anyway.
DH is taking a day off this week for his best friend's birthday. Aw, lovely.
But...he didn't bother to do this with mine, even though I asked him (had a 5wk old DD and 19mo old DS at the time and some help would have been nice...)
He's pretty busy at work atm and is working late all this week to be able to take the time off.

I think I am probably really jealous. There is an evening do too, haven't been invited as I am "tied to the baby". (frIend's words, not mine)

The OP makes no mention of her partner refusing to look after the kids while she goes out with her girlfriends.

What the OP does post is that the mate wasn't too keen on her attending. Maybe the mates wants a Boys Night. Maybe ... Maybe. But that is for a AIBU for expecting to be invited thread.

PushyDad are you serious? You don't take time off to spend with your wife? Your time is your own?

OP YANBU.

Well she can't go out with her girlfriends, can she Pushydad as her DP is out every evening until late, working so he can take a day off to have fun.

Pushydad, you wouldn't want to help your wife with chores so that she could have a nice day on her birthday? What kind of partner does that make you?

I LOVE a good sisterhood BITCH FEST.

DH has friends who want Bromances with him but they're not getting very far as he won't reply to texts/emails...I have to organise his social life get him the fuck out of the house to play some golf

OP seriously - yanbu. Time off IS precious when you work and contrary to what chat PushyPERSON said upthread you weren't asking him to take time off on any old day but on your birthday etc etc. It would hurt my feelings too if DH prioritised his mancrush.

This will be the first time DH has ever taken a day off for him.

If he regularly took time off to see his mate then I can perhaps understand why you are peeved and want to bitch about the guy with a bunch of strangers but it is his first time.

"PushyDad are you serious? You don't take time off to spend with your wife?"

I take time off for birthdays, DC's assemblies, DC's Sports Day etc etc I don't take time off if MrsPD is bored being at home. If that makes me an arsehole then arsehole be I [probably not grammatically correct but it is midnight]

• hides Pushydads timemachine -

Dude, it was her birthday.

OP, please take note of DorothyGherkins posts, that would be hilarious!

YANBU, I promise I will never give out about my wonderful DH again! He's one in a million.

Why celebrate on a weekday? I don't understand taking time off for either birthday tbh.

Let the record show that I have not been out with my friends since October 2009.

pity party, anyone?

Pushydad, you sound lovely and understanding. Thanks.

"Pushydad, you sound lovely and understanding. Thanks."

I've been trying to get the MN Webmaster to do a Sarcasm emoticon for ages. It sounds like I have another signature for my petition :)

You've said in different posts that DH is generally a nice guy and that whenever he takes time off for family holidays he does extra hours to make up for it. So its not like he is some corporate drone with 5 weeks paid leave a year and won't take one off for your birthday. That would make him a prat in my books.

You are complaining about looking after the kids in the evening so that he can do enough O/T to go out with the mate. Dunno about you but it doesn't make sense to me that you look after the kids on your own in the evening while he does enough O/T to enable him to take a day off, to help you look after the kids on your birthday.

You mention that you haven't been out on a girl's night in ages. If DH won't babysit while you go out then again that would make him a selfish guy and I'll be among those who posted dump the bastard but that isn't what you are posting.

It sounds like economically the guy needs to run, just to stay even. If that is the case, why begrudge the guy a night out with a mate. As you have said several times, he is a nice guy and this is the first time he has taken a day off to be with his mate. So why don' t you cut the guy some slack, Jack and stop bitching about the guy with a bunch of strangers.

As an aside do these posters have these comments saved on Word and they merely cut and past as and when required?

I can imagine these posters going ....

My DH won't bring me tea in bed. AIBU?

a) Dump the bastard
b) He is an arsehole
c) You deserved better (Optional: and dump the bastard)

Hmmm. Which one shall I choose for this post? :o

PushyDad, you'd better hope "MrsPD" doesn't ever post on MN for advice about her arrogant and entitled husband

No chance of that. She thinks it for bored housewives who got too much time on their hands (she went back to work last year) :)

As you can see, MrsPD and I were made for each other :o

Oh, I dunno about that PD, who knows what she chats to her workmates about ?

PushyDad - I think the issue the OP has is that on her birthday she was dealing with a very young baby (5 weeks) and a toddler and it must have been very very hard. Having her husband at home for one extra day would have been a godsend to her. She didn't ask for a big diamond, or a car she asked for some of his time so she could have one day, on her birthday, where she could get some rest and recharge her batteries. To someone dealing with two small kids that kind of extra help is worth its weight in gold, and her DH must have realised that. He said no. He wouldn't go to the extra effort to give her a bit of respite on her birthday. Yet, when it came to his friend he actually suggested he take the day off and worked OT, which meant the OP had to pick up the slack, in order to take the day off. I'm sure you can see how that would make the OP feel a bit shit?

Callindana, you've hit the nail on the head!

If I were in your shoes Ruby, I'd book a day out sometime soon, on your own, and tell your DH that he has to take the day off for it. Or book it on his usual day off if that's easier for you. Either way, you definitely deserve a full day out on your own after he's pulled this stunt.

i still think yabu. he may have had a good reason for not doing it on your birthday and he is entitled to take whatever dayhe likes off anyway.

RubyWho - I say again, does it make sense that he works O/T thus putting you in a position where you look after the kids on your own in the evenings, so that he can take a day off to help you with the kids on your birthday?

Maybe its because I'm just a guy and I therefore don't get it but it doesn't make any sense to me.

And for the record, because freelance work is unpredictable I have spent periods of months as a househusband while MrsPD went out to work so I know what SAHMs/SAHDs go through.

YANBU,day off for his mates birthday, how old is he 10?

Pushydad I have to take exception to your comment about her DH 'babysitting' while she goes out. Just FYI you dont babysit your own children.

Pushydad I have to take exception to your comment about her DH 'babysitting' while she goes out. Just FYI you dont babysit your own children

You are crushing my nuts because I used the word 'babysitting'? Can I see your Word Police badge please? And can I expect you to give the 'dump the bastard' posters a similar hard time for their profanity? I guess not.

oh give over