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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want 2 cars?

116 replies

AlexTasha · 06/02/2012 16:42

Ok, prepared to get a roasting, but I am actually more after other people's experiences.

My DP and I work in central london and drive to the train station together in the mornings for the communte and then go home together at night, we mainly do things together on the weekends, and if not we will share the car and it's not an issue at all.

I am now 24 weeks pregnant and once we have the baby DP thinks I will be able to drop him at the station every morning and pick him up after work. When I say that this might not work with the baby's routine he just says, 'well it will have to.' I have no experience with this so he might be completely in the right and it will be fine, but I was wondering if this is going to be hard, we could afford to have to cars if we needed to, but I don't want to push it, if it isnt going to be a problem....AIBU?

OP posts:
Shutupanddrive · 06/02/2012 16:44

How long does it take you to get to train station? Why can't he just take car if your at home with baby?

Sparklingbrook · 06/02/2012 16:44

YANBU. If you could afford another car then do it.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 06/02/2012 16:47

YANBU to not want to take him to station. Could he walk /cycle some days & take the car on others? Is there much to do where you live? I rarely drive now I'm on mat leave. LO & I go to baby groups within walking distance.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 06/02/2012 16:47

YANBU. If you can comfortably afford another car, then get one. If not, you could get the baby into a routine that includes dropping your dh off, and on the days you aren't feeling up to it then he can take the car and you can stay in. Or you can walk, or use public transport.

Shinyshoes1 · 06/02/2012 16:47

how far is it from the train station to home? Is it too long a journey for him to get on a bus. I don't think it's practical for him to say 'well it will have to' that would have pissed me right off and the decision would have ended there. Tosser.

Are you going back to work after the baby is born and your mat leave runs out? that's another thing to consider.

However it seems a bit over the top to buy another car just to leave it at the station all day whilst he gets on a train to work and then jump in the car to come home in if you are using the main car for the baby

squeakytoy · 06/02/2012 16:48

Why can he not walk to the station, or get a pushbike...

Although I would also say, you cant fit your lives around a babys routine either.

Shakirasma · 06/02/2012 16:51

Well, YABabitU. When you have school aged children you have to do the school run with a newborn, so you do find ways of working round it.

It's up to you and your DH to work out whether the benefits of running 2 cars outweight the costs.

Original poster
AlexTasha · 06/02/2012 16:52

Thanks for the replies, it takes about 10 minutes to drop him off and drive home (or a 20 min walk). I am more than happy for him to take the car on the days that I can't be bothered driving or don't have anywhere to be, but he doesn't want to pay for parking (£4 a day) so is insisting that I drive him every day. Ergh, I am just thinking it might be a major hassle with a newborn and he is SO against getting another car...

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 06/02/2012 16:52

In theory your DP is right. In practice it will be a complete nightmare and your baby's routine fitting around your DP's routine will be a nightmare.

squeakytoy · 06/02/2012 16:55

A 20 minute walk and he needs a lift.. he needs a kick up the bloody backside!

Make the bugger walk and get some exercise!

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 06/02/2012 16:55

20 mins? Tell the lazy fecker to walk.

Original poster
AlexTasha · 06/02/2012 16:57

All very fair points, I am happy to be told that I ABU. It does seem like a waste to leave it at the station all day and shakira pointing out that I would have to do the school run with a newborn puts it into perspective too! Ah well, I guess I will have to see how it goes in practise and go from there!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 06/02/2012 16:57

In fact, you are both a pair of lazy buggers, but I will let you off as you are pregnant at the moment Grin

I cannot believe you both drive to the station and pay approx £1000 a year for parking, when you could walk it in 20 minutes, and have good holiday out of that!

mrspepperpotty · 06/02/2012 16:58

It depends partly on what time he leaves in the morning and gets back at night - and how predictable that is. Eg if he gets to the station after you've got the baby to sleep for the night it would be an absolute pain to pick him/her up out of the cot and into the car. Shakirasma, the school run doesn't happen at 7pm!

Is he prepared to walk home if that happens? And what if he works late or goes out after work?

I've got a friend who does this and she doesn't seem to mind. I have to say I'd find it annoying though.

MarmiteMagic · 06/02/2012 16:58

Sorry but if he doesn't want to pay to park and it's only a 20 minute walk there's a fairly obvious solution.......

Original poster
AlexTasha · 06/02/2012 16:59

... he would never get up early enough to walk, although with a screaming baby he might! That might be the push he needs to get jogging to the station! haha

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByaBear · 06/02/2012 17:00

I know a woman who used to get her two children up at 5am and put themin the car in their jimjams so that she could drive her husband to work, in winter, because he did not like using his motorbike in the winter. I was always Shock at this. He subsequently went off with another woman, not that that is relevant to this situation of course.

A suggestion - could he not take the car and then you walk down with the baby later to collect it? Althought that would still incur parking charges. Cheaper than buying another car. And a 20 minute walk isn't that much.

Original poster
AlexTasha · 06/02/2012 17:02

squeaky when i didnt have my license I used to walk when he wasn't going to work, but he conveniently seems to have forgotten that!! I will just play the pregnant card as to why I'm not walking now!! :)

We leave to go to work at 7.50am and I would be picking him up around 7pm....He goes out on Tuesdays with the guys from work and doesnt get home til about 11/12 so that's something I hadn't thought about....

OP posts:
TheParanoidAndroid · 06/02/2012 17:02

YABU. What a terrible reason to buy another car, just to leave it sitting all day at the train station that is easy to walk to!

jamdonut · 06/02/2012 17:04

I've always managed to fit my babies' routines around our lives. It's just the way it is. Otherwise you get nothing done.

OccupationalHazard · 06/02/2012 17:07

You are both BU to drive to the station when you could just walk for 20 minutes.

coccyx · 06/02/2012 17:09

20 mins!!!! get him a bike

Winkly · 06/02/2012 17:10

A 20 minute walk is nothing! I live half an hour from the station and walk in all but the worst weather.

callmemrs · 06/02/2012 17:17

I think you're both bonkers! You must have to park the car at the moment, so you're choosing to spend £20 a week on parking. Plus petrol costs for frequent short journeys. That's mental when you could walk for 20 minutes.

If there is some reason why he can't walk when you've had the baby then just drive him there- good god how do you think mothers who work, or who have to get older kids to School manage? A few minutes drive and back home if you are then going to be home all day seems perfectly reasonable to me. The cost of running a second car just to avoid having to do this would be mad

amicissima · 06/02/2012 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.