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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want 2 cars?

116 replies

AlexTasha · 06/02/2012 16:42

Ok, prepared to get a roasting, but I am actually more after other people's experiences.

My DP and I work in central london and drive to the train station together in the mornings for the communte and then go home together at night, we mainly do things together on the weekends, and if not we will share the car and it's not an issue at all.

I am now 24 weeks pregnant and once we have the baby DP thinks I will be able to drop him at the station every morning and pick him up after work. When I say that this might not work with the baby's routine he just says, 'well it will have to.' I have no experience with this so he might be completely in the right and it will be fine, but I was wondering if this is going to be hard, we could afford to have to cars if we needed to, but I don't want to push it, if it isnt going to be a problem....AIBU?

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 06/02/2012 17:18

What do you expect to need a car for? Is doctors, sure start, swimming pool etc within walking distance?

Laquitar · 06/02/2012 17:20

Blimey! You live in Central London and you need 2 cars? And you have to commute together every day and take the car to the station?? Shock

You both sound precious but your dh wins the prize! 20 min walk! In Central London!!

startail · 06/02/2012 17:21

I suspect mornings may be ok babies tend to wake up earlier than humans.
Evenings may be a total Pita baby may well be grizzly and want to do nothing, but feed. This is especially true if you are trying to cook or eat. Driving in London traffic with grumpy baby is not good.
Warmer lighter evenings are coming, legs are good.
Address the two car problem in the Autumn, when baby is more settled and you have some idea what activities you want to do.
In the future you may well need two cars whether to get to toddlers etc as a SAHM or to get to nursery and work.
Life changes totally with a new baby, two cars is expensive, wait until you know exactly what your needs are.

everlong · 06/02/2012 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AlexTasha · 06/02/2012 17:24

Thanks everyone. I know we probably should walk, but I get up at 6.45am as it is (then get DP up to get ready) and don't get home until 7.30pm so am just too knackered to get up earlier / get home later. I know it's a waste really, but it makes life easier.

I do agree that if he doesnt want to walk I should drive him as I will have to drive the (future) kids to school with a newborn. It will save us money and shouldn't be too much hassle.

I just really wanted to get options about whether it would really be hard with a newborn, but it seems like I shouldnt plan my routine around them anyway from what you have said. So driving to the station and back shouldnt be too much of an issue :)

OP posts:
lynniep · 06/02/2012 17:25

good lord. a 20 minute walk?! he should WALK or get a BIKE.

Its completely unrealistic to expect you to cart a newborn to the station every morning just so he doesnt have to drive. Its not an impossible feat - of course its not - people do it, but in your situation ie 20 minutes walk from the station, its just crazy. Its fair enough now and again, but to say from the outset 'you must drop me off and collect me every day ' is just daft. You will find this out.

You have NO idea what the baby will be like till its here. What if he/she has been up ALL night and you've just fallen asleep and he's nudging you awake to get a lift. How reasonable is that?

And its exceptionally silly to buy another car when the one you've got is sitting unused and costing money in a station car park.

Laquitar · 06/02/2012 17:25

You don't even need a first car, let alone a second one.

NoWuckingFurries · 06/02/2012 17:26

Also Confused at the need to drive for a 20 min walk. Nothing else to add as too Shock except wait until the baby is born. The. Your DH will see what an arse he's being Grin

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 06/02/2012 17:28

Um, don't want to panic you or anything, but you know you might need to get up earlier with a baby...?

Takeresponsibility · 06/02/2012 17:28

I know we probably should walk, but I get up at 6.45am as it is (then get DP up to get ready)

WTF? - you are going to end up mothering both of them. His baby just as much as yours - he walks or cycles, if weather is exceptionally bad you will take him or he can get a taxi.

Original poster
AlexTasha · 06/02/2012 17:29

ATruth I will need the car to get to my baby classes as they arent walking distance and to go to the shops which are quite far away...but wont need the car every day.

The main thing is I know my DP wont walk, there is no way he will walk. So that isnt even an option unfortunately. He has point blank refused.

So the reason I was posting was becuase I was wondering if driving will disrupt the baby...

OP posts:
everlong · 06/02/2012 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blu · 06/02/2012 17:32

Bike.

Sparklingbrook · 06/02/2012 17:32

When we only had one car which DH took to work also a twenty minute walk away, I used to walk down and get the car with the baby asleep in the pram mid-morning and bring the car back to go out and about. Then pick him up in the evening. Not every day, but it was a good compromise and I got rid of some of the baby blubber. Grin

everlong · 06/02/2012 17:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

callmemrs · 06/02/2012 17:34

You get up at 6.45. Sorry but thats hardly early. I suggest you both adjust to new routines if you're going to be able to cope. You both seem to have quite low coping thresholds If I might say so

squeakytoy · 06/02/2012 17:38

"The main thing is I know my DP wont walk, there is no way he will walk"

Car issues are the least of your worries if that is his attitude.

Takeresponsibility · 06/02/2012 17:38

Stop being such a doormat. He won't walk, he won't countenance getting another car, he won't get himself up in the morning.....

He needs to grow up and you need to grow a pair.

Grumpla · 06/02/2012 17:38

TWENTY MINUTES?!?!

He's being pretty daft if he doesn't think he's going to have to be getting up more than twenty minutes earlier anyway.

I'd compromise and agree to drive him in the rain / snow, but otherwise he walks / cycles. A twenty minute walk would be what, five minutes on a bike?

didldidi · 06/02/2012 17:39

Yes what happens if you refuse point blank to drive him?

Laquitar · 06/02/2012 17:39

OP does he work in an office? Baby aside he should stretch his legs and get fresh air (ok i know the air is not so fresh in central london). If i spend all day in office and commute door to door by car/train i will go mad, my head will explode and i will be moody.
Everybody i know walks 20min minimum in london.

suburbandream · 06/02/2012 17:41

You are both being unreasonable not walking in the first place! Being pregnant doesn't stop you walking 20 minutes, and unless there's a good reason not to it'd probably be good for you.

learningtofly · 06/02/2012 17:41

Ah this thread has taken me back to my childhood when it was normal to only have one car! My dad biked to the station on the oldest bike known to man but the excitement when we used to wait up to see him cycle down the road - happy memories.

But ultimately running two cars is expensive so you need to weigh up whether its actually worth while - take into account MOT, tyres, running costs, fuel - it soon adds up vs the mileage you're anticipating. If its only doing a small mileage a week it might not be worth it.

squeakytoy · 06/02/2012 17:42

I have to say, I am Shock and Hmm at reading an able bodied young man is too bone idle to walk for 20 minutes to get his train, as well as needs to be got out of bed by his partner.

I think a new baby is going to come as a bit of a shock to his little pampered world...

You need to start sorting this out before the baby is born OP, or you will be lumbered with 2 babies to deal with..

Original poster
AlexTasha · 06/02/2012 17:44

He walks about 10 minutes to work when we get to central london, i walk for 35 mins to get to my work so I am not that lazy as I do have to walk in the mornings once I get into central london. We both work in offices.

He has said he wants to get up earlier so he can help with the baby and look after them while I have a shower or whatever, but he just doesn't want to walk to the station for some reason. Maybe he will once summer comes (I hope!).

OP posts:
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