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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report DH's workmate for benefit fraud?

133 replies

BadDayAtTheOrifice · 02/02/2012 14:27

My DH has imparted some information to me which I now wish he hadn't because I now have some internal conflict issues going on.
He's worked with on and off with this guy (sub-contractors) for a couple of years and have become good friends. He lives with his girlfriend of 12 years and they have 3 kids, 11, 6 and 1. Last week DH tells me that his GF is on full lone parent benefits- they haven't declared that that they live together, and yet this bloke is on a decent (although not great) wage.
DH doesn't want to do anything because he's a friend. I feel I'm in a awkward position. Could you tell me what you would do in this position?

OP posts:
ABatInBunkFive · 02/02/2012 15:46

I've been on the other end of this we were reported for benefit fraud when in reality had done nothing wrong, it caused us no end of grief so i'd be very hesitant to do the same to someone else, especially someone i considered a friend.

Laquitar · 02/02/2012 15:49

I never understood how this is done.
If he gives that address to inland revenue then sooner or later he will be cought up and if they have the luxury of using another address for his correspondence (how?) then nothing can be proven?

JimmyChooChoo · 02/02/2012 15:52

OP I understand your predicament.I know 3 seperate women who are doing just this(pretending to be lone parents while their OH's are on a very comfortable salary).And I was Shock that they were so open about it to me..infact almost smug and feeling quite clever about it.Btw these are even my friends!One is my (ex)hairdresser,the other her sister and the other is a new mum pal I met and she told me everything about herself after 5 mins!My DH was Angryat me for not reporting them...I kept on thinking if I did then A)what if their dc are seperated from them they have to go prison etc(although I know prison is unlikely) and B)I'm sure they'd know it was me and I've enough stresses in my life at the moment without making enemies.

JimmyChooChoo · 02/02/2012 15:53

btw these are not* even my friendsBlush

TotemPole · 02/02/2012 15:53

Laquitar, some people use a parents or other family member's address as their official residence. They're on the electoral roll there, use it for all tax/banking/correspondence etc.

GoingForGoalWeight · 02/02/2012 15:55

Just what MN needs another benefit thread Grin What took ya?

Grass if you must but be prepared for it to be glaringly obvious to DH when he asks you, if you did the deed. I'm not sure I could do that but I do not know until in that situation.

Laquitar · 02/02/2012 15:58

Totem, then a) this affects their parents i.e. council tax, any benefit entlitement and b) then the fraud team will find it difficult to prove anything, no?

Ahhhtetley · 02/02/2012 16:01

I can completely understand why you'd feel nervous for reporting her? After all she's not a mass murderer or swindling millions out of a pension fund.

What I don't get though, is those people who think 'you' are in the wrong for wanting to tell the authorities. Makes me wonder what else they'd happily turn a blind eye to. Drunk driving, internet fraud, muggings, stabbings etc etc? They are all crimes, but fraud is also a crime. Just because she's a parent, or mother, or having relationship problems or not stabbing people, doesn't mean she's not breaking the law. Where do you draw the line? Is it ok to rob a bank if you've just been made redundant. Or is it ok to mug an old granny out of her pension because she's got more money in her bank than you do?

TotemPole · 02/02/2012 16:07

Laquitar, if they claim to be living somewhere with two or more adults then there wouldnt' be the single person discount for CT.

If the other household is claiming any means tested benefits then it would affect those. Presumably, people pick an address that wouldn't cause any problems.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 02/02/2012 16:16

Report it.

Even if your dh does find out it was you and is angry about it, you would still be more in the right than him. He wouldnt get to be on some moral high ground while he condones fraud! You would be the one who had done the right thing, and if he couldn't see that then his opinion isn't worth much.

You would have every right (as you already do) to be equally pissed off with him for thinking its ok to do nothing.

mrsscoob · 02/02/2012 16:35

Its up to you whether you report it or not, but you should tell your partner if you do decide to. Otherwise he may find out and be upset with you, unless you decide to lie to him which I am sure you wouldn't want to do.

Laquitar · 02/02/2012 16:46

Thanks Totem

Laquitar · 02/02/2012 16:49

(this sounded like i'm looking for ideas Blush. I 'm not, just curious because i've read many threads on it) Grin

Idratherbemuckingout · 02/02/2012 17:49

If you go and ask her to stop, because you know she is doing it, HOW are you going to know whether she has or not? She can TELL you that she has, and keep quiet about it in future, but for all you know she could very well keep on claiming it.

keepingupwiththejoneses · 02/02/2012 18:04

You can report them anonymously on this number 0800 854 440

SensitivityChip · 02/02/2012 18:10

I've been under a different sort of investigation abat. We were reported to SS after an accident ds had at home. Obviously it was an accident, we had nothing to hide and the case was closed as soon as it was opened and I understood the whole "better safe than sorry" approach etc etc. But it didn't stop me from suffering crippling anxiety as a result and ruining the first year of dc2's life for me. As a result I would think twice about reporting anyone for anything unless I had solid proof of wrongdoing. I wouldn't put anyone through it unless I had.

DuchessofMalfi · 02/02/2012 18:18

YANBU, but I wouldn't want to be the one who did the reporting. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night through worry that someone would know I'd done it.

RuleBritannia · 02/02/2012 19:49

DuchessofMalfi

So you and the others with similar opinions would be happy for benefit fraudsters (that's what they are) to steal money from you? That's what they are doing. They are stealing from people who pay the taxes that keep them when they are too feckless to live within their means or tell lies to live off other people.

TotemPole · 02/02/2012 21:08

Laquitar, I actually should have said... could affect means tested benefits.

Tortington · 02/02/2012 21:15

i know for a fact that you get free sky tv when you sign on, Also after a year they let you have your council house for nothing and you can then sell it

littlemisssarcastic · 02/02/2012 21:44

Yeah, but the sky tv is only the basic sky + Custy. You still have to pay for HD!! Sad

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 02/02/2012 22:36

I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago, a colleague told me very matter of fact that her partner was claiming JSA while working cash in hand as a labourer for a local company. I had considered reporting him but my dilemma was that the only way I could get enough details to do so, address etc, was to take them from our systems at work where he was a client and this broke every rule in the employee confidentiality rules so I knew if it was traced back to me the shit would hit the fan. She has since broken up with him so I sometimes wonder if he is still at it and getting away with it.

troisgarcons · 02/02/2012 22:53

Well. Something I didn't know. And I take it as 'fact' from a solictor I met socially.

The aforementioned solicor and his wife "separated" - remained in the same house but maintained separate bedrooms and bank accounts. > cough< The tax credits the wife was allowed to claim as a LP paid for their children to go to uni.

Apparently you can separate and still live in the same house provided you live independently.

they reconcided when child no 4 graduated.

Laquitar · 02/02/2012 23:15

Smile Totem.

So, they can't be as many as people here often say because they must
a) have parents or other family alive and in this country
b) have excellent relationship with them and huge trust
c) their family willing to participate in this and lie
d) their family to be more than one person so that they don't lose on council tax deduction
e) their family to be 100% sure that they will not need any benefits themselves

And maybe there are more points too. So it is not as easy as people here make it.

OP i wouldn't phone. You never know what is going on in the family and i wouldn't like to cause pain to anyone.

Laquitar · 02/02/2012 23:18

Oh i've just read trois post.

Ok then. I didn't know that you can do it living in the same house, ignore my previous post.