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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report DH's workmate for benefit fraud?

133 replies

BadDayAtTheOrifice · 02/02/2012 14:27

My DH has imparted some information to me which I now wish he hadn't because I now have some internal conflict issues going on.
He's worked with on and off with this guy (sub-contractors) for a couple of years and have become good friends. He lives with his girlfriend of 12 years and they have 3 kids, 11, 6 and 1. Last week DH tells me that his GF is on full lone parent benefits- they haven't declared that that they live together, and yet this bloke is on a decent (although not great) wage.
DH doesn't want to do anything because he's a friend. I feel I'm in a awkward position. Could you tell me what you would do in this position?

OP posts:
mojitomania · 02/02/2012 15:27

Two wrongs don't make a right Kanyo.

I'd leave it to the authorities to find out.

SensitivityChip · 02/02/2012 15:28

Surely you'd have to be pretty incompetent to set up a claim like that without questioning it, though.

Rhinestone · 02/02/2012 15:28

I think I'll stick with my view of right and wrong Notthefullshilling.

And it's not just the OP and me who think this is wrong. But whatever, hope you enjoyed your rant, I certainly did.

Kayano · 02/02/2012 15:31

Why do I always get called kanyo?

Always Kanyo HmmConfused

Well op isn't wrong so it can't be a case
Of 'two wrongs don't make a right'... It's a case of some benefit cheat doing wrong, and op reporting it rightly to make it right Wink

usualsuspect · 02/02/2012 15:31

What Notthefullshilling said

these threads are bloody doing my head in now

TotemPole · 02/02/2012 15:31

FolkGirl, oh I think I see now. He'd own the family home so the family should be able to live there?

CalmaLlamaDown · 02/02/2012 15:32

If you report it then will you be up-front about it? They will know someone squealed and might incorrectly blame a friend or family member.

mojitomania · 02/02/2012 15:32
Sudaname · 02/02/2012 15:33

Agree with moneyworries - let them know anonymously that you are onto them and unless they correct their living arrangements with the DSS you will be asking DSS to investigate.

mojitomania · 02/02/2012 15:34

Kayano Grin

TotemPole · 02/02/2012 15:35

I still can't get my head round these alleged benefit cheats who run around telling other people about it.

OP, are you sure your DH got the right end of the stick? Does his friend usually do stupid things?

samstown · 02/02/2012 15:36

You can be angry at both ends of the spectrum you know, they are not mutually exclusive. I think its disgusting the way that the government seems to turn a blind eye to big companies avoiding tax and bakers getting bonuses that are just ridiculous. However, this does not mean that I will say that illegal benefit fraud is ok because it is only a little bit and wont make any difference. What if everyone thought like that?

mojitomania · 02/02/2012 15:36

If the OP is so wonderfully moral then she should also tell the people she is sneaking on, then she can't be called a sneak can she.

samstown · 02/02/2012 15:37

*Bankers - I dont think bakers get huges bonuses!

Original poster
BadDayAtTheOrifice · 02/02/2012 15:38

Blimey! Just got back from the school run. I do genuinely want advice, I feel reporting Is the right thing to do but if I'm being really honest I'm not sure I have the balls to! I'm not the snitching sort, hence my inner conflict and indecision.

OP posts:
mojitomania · 02/02/2012 15:38

The bit that sticks in my throat is going behind the back of one of her partners friends.

Original poster
BadDayAtTheOrifice · 02/02/2012 15:39

DH is quite close with this guy, has been round to his house, knows GF and kids etc. Who knows why this guy let on though.

OP posts:
SensitivityChip · 02/02/2012 15:40

Baker's bonuses! Grin
The papers obviously haven't got hold of that one yet...

yellowraincoat · 02/02/2012 15:42

Those scrounging flour-ridden bastards.

usualsuspect · 02/02/2012 15:43

If you want to do it , then do it, just don't come on MN and whip the frothers up into a frenzy ,theres been enough of that all over the boards just lately

HTH

mojitomania · 02/02/2012 15:44

He let on because he trusted your DH.

The key words here are "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" it may all be over next month. It probably will be if you make that call.

Could also be over between you and your DH too.

Just be careful OP be very careful.

TotemPole · 02/02/2012 15:44

If you do it could mean, she gets prosecuted & benefits have to be repaid/reduced. That's reasonable.

If you're upfront about it an admit it was you, then is the friend likely to take this out on your DH?

How will your DH react to you blabbing something he told you in confidence?

ItWasABoojum · 02/02/2012 15:44

Great point samstown.

Yes, it stinks that some families feel they have to do this to make ends meet.

It also stinks that some people find themselves having to steal to pay for a drug habit, and that some people solve their disputes with physical violence because they've never learned any other way. It doesn't mean that what they're doing is right or that others are morally obliged to turn a blind eye. It's perfectly possible to sympathise without condoning.

TotemPole · 02/02/2012 15:45

Those scrounging flour-ridden bastards. Grin

usualsuspect · 02/02/2012 15:46

I bet Shiney Daves fangirls love this thread

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