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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report DH's workmate for benefit fraud?

133 replies

BadDayAtTheOrifice · 02/02/2012 14:27

My DH has imparted some information to me which I now wish he hadn't because I now have some internal conflict issues going on.
He's worked with on and off with this guy (sub-contractors) for a couple of years and have become good friends. He lives with his girlfriend of 12 years and they have 3 kids, 11, 6 and 1. Last week DH tells me that his GF is on full lone parent benefits- they haven't declared that that they live together, and yet this bloke is on a decent (although not great) wage.
DH doesn't want to do anything because he's a friend. I feel I'm in a awkward position. Could you tell me what you would do in this position?

OP posts:
shagmundfreud · 02/02/2012 14:59

I have a friend who's been doing this. She works but claims housing benefit and working families tax credit.

She doesn't declare that her partner is living with her because the relationship is on its knees and has been for some time. They're on the verge of separation. He is very bad about giving her money, which a few years ago resulted in her having to declare herself bankrupt: she simply couldn't cover the costs of her childcare and mortgage on her salary alone, and ran up huge debts, despite being quite frugal.

If someone dobbed my friend in to the DSS it would have devastating results.

ThePathanKhansWitch · 02/02/2012 14:59

What Notthefullshilling said.

BuggerlugsTheFirst · 02/02/2012 15:01

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

Rhinestone · 02/02/2012 15:01

All those people being 'too cool' to care about benefit fraud and telling the OP and the rest of us to 'get a life', I assume you'll be phoning up HMRC and offering to personally pay more tax in order to cover the cost of benefit fraud?

If not, may I suggest you shut up.

Of course, maybe you're all benefit cheats.

Moneyworries1234 · 02/02/2012 15:02

I know you don't all agree with me. I know its contreversial.

I understand where you are coming from - they shouldn't be claiming the money.

I just can't help but think that if they are friends, then giving them to chance to stop would the best thing to do. If they just say he has moved in, then I can't see how this would get investigated?

Obviously if they don't stop, then report them as they are grabbing, greedy ba**ds wrong.

BuggerlugsTheFirst · 02/02/2012 15:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

mojitomania · 02/02/2012 15:06

Of course, maybe you're all benefit cheats

Umm no.

I'd mind my own business if I were you OP.

No one likes a sneak.

Moneyworries1234 · 02/02/2012 15:07

Of course, maybe you're all benefit cheats

No, work very hard for all that we have, thank you very much.

ThePathanKhansWitch · 02/02/2012 15:08

That's a big jump Rhinestone Hmm.

I'd like Vodaphone to pay it's tax bill, in full. And the head of Student loans to pay more tax than his cleaner, i'd quite like nobody to feel benefit fraud was worth the risk. Will it happen. Probably not.

Rhinestone · 02/02/2012 15:08

So answer my question - when are you going to phone up HMRC and offer to pay more tax to cover the cost of benefit fraud?

Gribble · 02/02/2012 15:09

I dont know, I really dont know how I feel about it, it does annnoy me, but Im pretty two faced - I know people who claim when they shouldnt, but their circumstances (both work, kids, low wage, bag of shit car that keeps breaking down, house constantly needing repair) mean I find it very hard to feel anything but to wish them good luck if they can get away with it.

I dont think I could grass them up, mainly because theres kids involved, the repurcussions (sp?) might cause them to split or him to lose his job, I couldnt have that on my conscience.

Kayano · 02/02/2012 15:09

Op is the sneak?

Not the benefit cheat then?

YuleingFanjo · 02/02/2012 15:09

I always wonder about these threads... do the people who start them really want to follow the advice? to do what the majority of people on a forum say? Or do they just want people to validate their opinion but not really do anything about it?

SensitivityChip · 02/02/2012 15:10

Why would you tell people you were committing benefit fraud?
And then why would your husband tell you, if he knows your views on the subject?

I couldn't bring myself to report on a friend, especially not knowing their reasons or even if the gossip is true in the first place.

CalmaLlamaDown · 02/02/2012 15:12

Are you sure you know the full story? After all you only heard it second-hand, you don't actually know this family do you. You should have the courage of your convictions though.

mojitomania · 02/02/2012 15:13

To actually pick up the phone and do this to a friend of her partner.... yep, a sneak.

Would you then come out and tell them it was you who did it? Ummm no you wouldn't

Yep, a sneak.

AppleShaped · 02/02/2012 15:14

I'd leave it,don't get involved.

Laws catch flies but let hornets go free.

squeakytoy · 02/02/2012 15:15

All those who say it doesnt matter... of course it bloody matters.. it is one of the reasons that this country is at it's sodding knees at the moment. Not the only reason, but a very big chunk of the reason.

The money that is being given that shouldnt be could be put to good use.. subsidised nurserys for single mothers, so that women who want to work can afford to without having to get a highly paid job.

The benefits system is an absolute shambles with loopholes and fiddles, and the people who GENUINELY are in need of benefits end up feeling like shit because they are lumped in with the grabbing thieves who are stealing from the benefits agency, and ultimately from us, because the more cuts in services there are due to finance problems, the more it affects everyone.

Notthefullshilling · 02/02/2012 15:21

Rhinestone who appointed you my or any one else's moral conscience, or for that matter the arbiter of right and wrong. Bring me proof that you have any right what so ever to tell me what I should think or why, until then I beg leave to suggust you STFU as well.

See I blame mumsnet HQ this is the what 8th 8th thread like this an as many days and it gets us no where, why let it continue unless to continuously poke away at a festering sore. People like the OP and Rhinstone want us all to be outraged at some poor woman who is allegedly fiddling the dole, for what less than 20k per year. I could not give a rats arshole about that. No I am wrong I could give a fucking huge rats arsehole if others were not being paid stupid amounts of money to kick a ball, sing shite, be slebs with no talent apart from having fake tits and a drink/drugs habit. I also give a massive smelly shit about being told "we are all in this together" by the same people who ask these fucking stupid questions but then they never get off their comfy backsides to protest about inequality, poverty, injustice, they just sit there and say "that's the way it is!" Well right back at you benefit fraud nis what you get for not caring about anything that is further away from you than the end of your nose. People steal and cheat because of what they see around them and what the society they live in defines as the norm. Bankers getting huge bonuses for fucking up, yea well 20k sounds like a better deal. Country run by millionaires who never will know what its like to live in damp mould ridden houses, who suggest the way out of that situation is to BUY the house, aye right let me just lie about who lives here for HB purposes. Companies employing people illegally less than min wage in order to save money and cause unemployment to many thousands, create social disharmony, and rob the tax system of it's due, hell tea I will knock 20% of my take home pay to get extra tax credit.

Now see I was in a good mood, nurse the screens and a bed pan STAT!

Gribble · 02/02/2012 15:21

I'll be honest, I wish I had the balls to do it sometimes. When I go back to work after mat leave all of my pay will be eaten up by nursery fees, well all is an exaggeration, maybe I'll have about £40 left over.

TotemPole · 02/02/2012 15:21

its also in the HB regs that even if Mr & Mrs Smith were in fact seperated that HB wouldnt be paid as Mr Smith has a legal obligation towards his children.

Which would be paid as maintenance. Isn't maintenance disregarded now for benefits & HB?

TroublesomeEx · 02/02/2012 15:21

I never cease to be amazed!

Are there honestly people on here who think the OP would be more in the wrong for reporting a crime that the person who is fraudulently claiming benefits?

Unbelievable!

samstown · 02/02/2012 15:21

Ah, only on mumsnet could someone who reports a benefit fraudster be called a sneak, whilst the person who is actually stealing money they are not entitled to is defended to the last.

FlightRisk · 02/02/2012 15:22

I like sneaks op if it means real cheats get found out.

Shagmundfraud I feel for your friend I really do but she needs to kick her fella out if the realtionship is so bad. Having a crap relationship where he's shitty financially doesn't condone benefit fraud.

When my delighful ex was living was with me he only gave me £20 a week!! It lasted for 6months after DS was born he moved out then he didn't pay a penny until 5 years later!! We've all had to struggle but we don't all commit benefit fraud to make things easier.

For those who are saying this boring why don't you all fuck off and read a different thread then!!

TroublesomeEx · 02/02/2012 15:23

I think the point was that some people claim to be single parents when they are not really and give the name of their OH as the landlord and claim benefits that way. Without declaring that Mr Smith is the father. Not that they are receiving maintenance from an NRP.