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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be taken aback this woman is getting DLA?

443 replies

lesley33 · 31/01/2012 23:39

Was talking at work with the receptionist about the changes to DLA and the move to PIP. I am worried about how this will negatively affect some people. However I was taken aback when the receptionist said that she would lose lower rate DLA which she got for depression.

I know she had depression a couple of years ago. But since then she has been in work every day and always seemed fine at work. I know people can be depressed and seem fine, but really if you can manage to work with depression then surely you shouldn't be getting DLA?

Just to say she is a very honest type of person and I am sure wouldn't have lied to get DLA. She hasn't been off sick. And what sticks in the throat a bit is I know there are other colleagues on low wages who have honestly struggled with mental health problems during this time such as anxiety and depression.

And I know you can work and get DLA. I just think if your disability is depression and you can work fine then you shouldn't get DLA. I am her manager so I know she has had no sick leave and there are no special measures in place to support her.

OP posts:
GashInTheAttic · 31/01/2012 23:48

I think you should mind your own business.

ecclesvet · 31/01/2012 23:52

Perhaps the only thing keeping her going to work is the help she's receiving through the therapy sessions she's paying for with the DLA?

blameitonthecaffeine · 31/01/2012 23:52

I don't think you can get DLA if you don't need it? It's pretty tightly controlled.

I think you can get it for a wide range of conditions though. Technically, I think I could claim it for my dd1 if I needed to and she's anorexic not disabled at all!

WibblyBibble · 31/01/2012 23:54

I think you don't understand what DLA is for. The two basic components are for care and mobility. Care is mainly based on if you can prepare a meal for yourself on a regular basis without supervision/reminding. Mobility is if you can't get a certain distance outside without support, or need help on unfamiliar journeys. For all you know she is unable to cook (I have known people who were in work but paranoid about using cookers as they feared they would burn down the house/kill someone/whatever- it was clearly a delusional belief that made it impossible for them to cook but not for them to work in the particular job they had). For all you know she needs to take a carer if she has to go somewhere unfamiliar because otherwise she'd have panic attacks. To get DLA she would need to have her GP and a carer verify this. They know a hell of a lot better than you whether she needs it or not!

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 31/01/2012 23:55

From speaking to friends that claim DLA for themselves or their DC, it is bloody difficult to claim for, even with a very severe physically debilitating condition. I would be surprised if she is getting it for "just" depression. Maybe she has another medical condition she gets it for which she doesn't want to divulge?

aldiwhore · 31/01/2012 23:55

You're her manager? You should have a tighter control over your broadcasting in my view.

YANBU to be 'taken aback' because you shouldn't have to know everything about your staff.

I hope you see this as an example that people don't tell everyone everything and even as manager you cannot know everything about everyone.

I don't know the ins and outs of DLA, but maybe her DLA allows her to work and not take time off sick?

squeakytoy · 31/01/2012 23:56

Hmmmmmm....

Fireandashes · 31/01/2012 23:56

It is not, and will never be, your place to judge this lady or how she manages her life and her condition.

You clearly have no idea how depression can affect people, or of the criteria that needs to be satisfied to successfully claim DLA. I hope for your sake you never do discover the former in particular, as it would mean you or someone you loved was in the grip of the most awful, pernicious, insidious, debilitating conditions known to the human race.

Just count your blessings you have your mental health and let her get on with her own business.

Original poster
lesley33 · 31/01/2012 23:57

Yes perhaps it is only therapy keeping her going. But you know there are many many people struggling on a daily basis with difficult lives only managing because of support from families, partners or counsellors. imo DLA is not for this. It is for people with severe mental health problems who need much much more support than the average struggling person.

I guess it makes me angry because I see so many people genuinely struggling to work, look after their kids and hold things together who get no real support and certainly don't get dla.

And I also see people with severe mental health problems who get no help - the type of people who actually should get more help.

OP posts:
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 31/01/2012 23:59

Why do you describe colleagues that have depression and are not claiming it as "honestly" struggling. Does it mean the lady getting the DLA is dishonest? Hmm I'm sure the others are perfectly at liberty to put in a claim if they wish to.

GashInTheAttic · 31/01/2012 23:59

And I also see people with severe mental health problems who get no help - the type of people who actually should get more help.

How do you know they get no help.

Do you ask everyone about their financial situation?

Fireandashes · 31/01/2012 23:59

Hex: my husband receives DLA for depression, or bipolar disorder to be strictly accurate. It is unusual but not unheard of (and indicative of just how crippling mental illness can be).

ecclesvet · 01/02/2012 00:00

"imo DLA is not for this."

Fortunately, it's not a matter of opinion. It's a matter of fact, and the fact is that she is entitled to it.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 01/02/2012 00:00

Don't let it make you angry, honestly there are far bigger things to get angry about than someone getting 50 quid a week

Original poster
lesley33 · 01/02/2012 00:00

fire - My partners has bipolar - I actaally do know a lot about severe mental health problems.

aldiwhore - Okay I admit I am not her manager - I'm not that stupid to post that here. I have changed identifying details. But I was just trying to make the point that I do know she hasn't hjad time off sick, got any special support measures in place at work, and manages in a stressful job. I can't actually say how I know these things as it might identify her.

OP posts:
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 01/02/2012 00:01

Glad to hear your husband qualifies, Fireandashes. I have suffered severe long term depression in the past and it is totally debilitating.

GashInTheAttic · 01/02/2012 00:01

Find something else to get narked about.

Try P&C parking or those dreadful people on benefits with huge plasma tellys.

LineRunner · 01/02/2012 00:03

So you are making this up?

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 01/02/2012 00:03

Perhaps OP's colleague has a plasma telly? Paid for with her DLA Grin

keepingupwiththejoneses · 01/02/2012 00:03

DLA does not mean you can not work, OP. Definition of disability is; a mental or physical impairment that has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on the person?s ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities. Just because she seems fine to you, doesn't mean she is.

GashInTheAttic · 01/02/2012 00:05

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer Grin

aldiwhore · 01/02/2012 00:06

Look, life's unfairness and injustices are not this woman's fault okay?

Maybe she should get it, maybe its her lifeline, maybe she'd be dead without it?

That doesn't mean she's at fault because others aren't getting what they need.

Whatever role you play in this woman's life, butt out. Be angry about what others DON'T get by all means, I'll be angry with you (FIL with Alzheimers, comes under mental health until he forgets how to feed himself and as its mental health, isn't taken very seriously.) I'll petition with you for better care for those with any disability, mental, physical or inbetween (and mostly its that in between that are forgotten) but FGS don't cast your venom on this lady.

If you think she's conning the system, report her. I won't think much of you as you seem to think she's decent enough and open enough to be legit. If you're angry at the system, shout at it, not her.

silverbay · 01/02/2012 00:06

There are some funny claims out there. Friend says she gets £400 a month because her 6 year old daughter gets urinary tract infections. She's not the lying type, I was a bit taken aback as the girl seems 100% fine.

£400 seems a lot for having a child who, once in a while, says her wee stings.

Fireandashes · 01/02/2012 00:07

If you have direct experience of such conditions, OP, then that just makes it all the more shocking and distasteful of you to be setting yourself up in judgement.

Bloody well done to her - I am in full admiration of the coping strategies she must have carefully constructed to allow her to function so well. I hope to God she doesn't find out that you are blabbing your misjudged view of her personal circumstances for the delectation of strangers on an internet forum.

Prforone · 01/02/2012 00:10

Can I just say, although not claiming DLA for it, I am currently being treated for severe depression AND working full-time. Purely because it gives me a reason to get up in the morning and is currently the only "constant" in my life. Sometimes things like going to work can give you a sense of normality in what can seem like an otherwise horrible world.

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