To be taken aback this woman is getting DLA?

[lesley33]

Was talking at work with the receptionist about the changes to DLA and the move to PIP. I am worried about how this will negatively affect some people. However I was taken aback when the receptionist said that she would lose lower rate DLA which she got for depression.

I know she had depression a couple of years ago. But since then she has been in work every day and always seemed fine at work. I know people can be depressed and seem fine, but really if you can manage to work with depression then surely you shouldn't be getting DLA?

Just to say she is a very honest type of person and I am sure wouldn't have lied to get DLA. She hasn't been off sick. And what sticks in the throat a bit is I know there are other colleagues on low wages who have honestly struggled with mental health problems during this time such as anxiety and depression.

And I know you can work and get DLA. I just think if your disability is depression and you can work fine then you shouldn't get DLA. I am her manager so I know she has had no sick leave and there are no special measures in place to support her.

How do you know she isn't severely depressed but able to hide it? DLA is to support people in and out of work and can help people continue to work. I also highly doubt someone gets it JUST for the odd urine infection-there must be more to it-how do you know she doesn't have an underlying condition such as mild spina bifida or genetic problems? perhaps the mother doesn't want to divuldge any more info. Truth is unless you have been in their shoes, you don't know what life is like to some people. If it seems unfair that they get £50 a week then how do you think your life looks to someone in a war-torn country who is starving. Fact is life is very unfair but it could always be worse. YABVU.

No Chandellina, I stand by my assertion that in individual cases, such as the one the OP is commenting on it is no bloody business of anyone else. I am not an expert on any form of disability, and as such how can I comment on whether someone needs additional help to live a normal life? As such I vote and I pay taxes and trust the experts to do it for me.

If it's any consolation to the OP, I know at least half a dozen people who have severe depression, might be able to work more if they received DLA funding, but have been turned down for DLA.

Just because she manages to get to work doesn't mean she is coping at all outside work - it may be she only manages to work because she has a DP or a cleaner etc looking after everything else at great cost, reminding her to get up, to eat, doing the laundry...

I guess it makes me angry because I see so many people genuinely struggling to work, look after their kids and hold things together who get no real support and certainly don't get dla.

And I also see people with severe mental health problems who get no help - the type of people who actually should get more help.

OP, may I ask you a question? If your "real concern" is with all the people who are "genuinely struggling", or who have "severe mental health problems" (nice - so now depression isn't severe??), why didn't you post a thread saying:

AIBU to think that this person should be receiving more help from society?
AIBU to think that this person should be better paid for the hard work they do?
AIBU to think that it should be easier for this person to apply for the help they need?

Why do you have to make it about one person you had a chat with and have decided to judge as unworthy of her benefits? DLA isn't awarded on the basis that only a certain number of people in each area can get it.

Oh wait, could it be that you made most of everything you've said up, because you just want to have a go at benefits claimants?

'pinko, I think you link is great. but who do you assume that cos I have a response to OPs situation (that goes against the grain) , I am ergo autonmatically prejudiced against EVERYONE with SN?

'

I didn't; I specifically linked to someone working whilst claiming DLA

hugely relevant

' My friend's husband claims HR mobility. He's currently a window cleaner. Go figure. B'

unless he can;t walk or needs supervision when out it is a false claim, aka illegal

Also have a fiend shoe DLA is used to pay back the private psych placement lthey paid for with a loan when NHS could not find her a resi palce and she was so ill she thought she would die

She works in a high presure job, comes home, goes to bed and her DH does everything

'fiend' ? Sorry.

I am confused it the op the womens GP?

OP - YABU as you know nothing about why she is receiving DLA. My friend gets the lower rate which covers the cost of taxis - she is dreadfully agoraphobic and cannot cope with public transport. I run her places too and support her through panic attacks. When she eventually recovers enough to return to work it's likely she will still need this support to actually get there regardless of how she may appear once IN work. Simples.

Oh dear, i wasn't aiming to flame the op, & sorry if it came across like that.

but it makes me so frustrated to have disabled peoples basic needs judged & questioned & discredited, and there's a awful lot of this going around in the media, government, threads, & people I meet. So my post was aimed at them, not just you op!

Until I became disabled I didn't know what an awful provision there is for disabled people, & how dehumanising it is to have to become nothing but your illness for people to judge you to get a fraction of the help you need.

Disabled people are the most vulnerable people in society, & all i hear at the moment is that unless you are your disability (stay home, don't work, travel, have children, etc). Collectively it feels like a message of ' don't even think about trying to join in mainstream society, don't even try & be a person'

It's so true that the most vulnerable people can't fight an ocean of prejudice, benefit fraud scaremongering & bureaucracy. But that's what we have to do, every single day to exist. My health has crashed since I started the bureaucratic nightmare that is dla & council help, and that's with the aid of an amazing friend. Without her help I am not exaggerating but the process of getting help would have killed me. But this isn't the first thing people see about me!

Disabled people have really really hard lives & most of us still come back smiling, so When I read these threads (not just you op please!) or hear these types of comments, I just want to ask people to be just be a bit more, well, gracious of spirit... why is the question always about fraud/ deservingness?

Understand we are not the other, with labels on & a funny walk ... ok, i so have one of those at the mo, but thats not the point :)

we can be your receptionist, your dad, your friend, your child, and unfortuneately, even yourself if you get unlucky, & alot of people don't feel able to understand that (I think you do op btw).

Maybe a better way of looking at it is:

Disabled people are allowed to work (!), & a right to be part of society, but because they are disabled, they need a bit of practical help to do so... So why grudge them this?

So congratulations to your colleague that you didn't know she got dla, being viewed just like everyone else may well be a great achievement for her, it would be for me.

Isn't that a better discourse than judging on inner assumptions of what disabled people should look & behave like?

My cousin gets DLA (Higher rate) and ESA totalling about £700 a month due to having severe MH problems. He gets it fortnightly and uses it to buy drugs, alcohol (which exacerbate the MH probs) and cigarettes and to buy rounds for friends who are conveniently absent when the money runs out.

The money is gone in 2 days. He spends the next 12 days getting loans from Wonga and the like (currently £4k in debt and rising) and 'borrowing' money from his 70 year old mother who lives alone on a state pension and often forgoes heating to support her son.

There is no structure to his life and he is using his benefits to slowly kill himself. His personal hygiene is neglected as he has no need to present himself well. Undoubtedly, most people use DLA for its intended purposes but there are those who simply don't help themselves and it's horrible for families to see it happening.

My cousin needs structure, counselling and proper help, not to have money thrown at the problem. We all try to help but he feels so entitled to this money and has no plans to go to college/ get a job/ do voluntary work all of which would do him a lot more good. I spend a few hours a week researching jobs/ courses etc for him and voluntary opportunities but he's not interested.

I know DLA is an in work benefit but I'm just saying, it can be misused. DC would still get DLA in work but perhaps a lower rate and would be a happier person with structure and purpose.

I don't think the lady in OP's post getting lower rate is a concern. She's helping herself by working and as many have pointed out, probably pays in tax what she gets back in DLA.

^My sister's DLA is paid into my Mum's account to help her.^ Is there noone in the family who could perform this function for your cousin to stop him being exploited like this? The procedure to do so is pretty siimple.

YANBU.

I also suffer from chronic depression- severe enough to warrant weekly day;-hosp appts and fortnightly meetings with my CC, but I don;'t claim DLA and nor would it occur to me to do so. IMO DLA is for the additionals expenses occured by your disability e.g. taxis if you can't walk, hearing-aids/special glasses, alterations to your home etc. Depression doesn't need special equipment or cost any extra, so I don't really understand what the DLA is for.

oh dear, so because you don't claim it, no one else with MH issues should
ffs

Yep, that's pretty much my opinion in a nutshell actually.

Why does it affect you OP?
Unhoik those judgey pants please.

That's not always true thepeoples

If paying for a childminder twice a week meant someone could have their kids remain with them that would be valid and plausible with MH difficutlties

if paying for a taxi got someone with agoraphobia (something I had as part of depression) out of the house that would be valid

If paying for a counsellor helped you cope that would be valid (our local GP's one ahs been on long term sick for two eyars now!)

if using the internet gets you in touch with people and communicating that would be valid.

We enver claimed i for DH but I can see why someone would. Most of the DLA I get for my boy's autism goes on things that are not specialist equipment but they need it nonetheless.

MillOn

Those are the cases where it should be easier for someone to get the DLA for the claimant imo

Pinko - re my friend's husband's claim - yes fraudulent now definitely because he hasn't advised them of his improved mobility. He was in a wheelchair for sometime (he fell through a roof) and was probably given a lifetime award when such a thing existed. He doesn't meet the HRM criteria now.

I would (and do) jump to the defence of anyone rightly claming DLA. It's a bloody nightmare but it does feel a bit of a smack in the face when you are jumping through hoops again to get DLA for your child (as I am, for probably the 6th time in her lifetime).

It is not easy to get DLA. They don't give it to just anyobe. There are medical file checks and sometimes their own medicals. If you don't think she lied then what is your issue? She obviously needs it.

Mind your own business. You have no idea what she hasn't told you. Depression may not be the only ailment.

DryRot- I know, two of mine have DLA and the fact that ds1's c;laim is up again in December haunts me already! More-severe ds3 has a claim until he is 16 but that is a form of luck (if you can call being that severe luck!)

DLA is Hellish. We need it, or would not claim. We could perhaps get LR for our last child, also ASD, but frankly drinking cyanide seems a more fun option!

well dont worry OP, the Govt is currently overturning all the amendments voted in by the Lords so those pesky disabled people will get less money. Then you can unhoik your judgey knickers as they lose jobs, starve and die.

peoples Many people with depression (like yourself) don't claim DLA because they don't need it. Fair enough. However, it is completely valid to need to claim DLA for depression so don't condemn it out of hand. As I said upthread I myself would likely qualify for DLA to cover the higher cost of prepared food due to the fact that I am currently unable to cook and prepare meals due to my depression and anxiety, and that's just one example. Pinkos example of the childminder is another good one, and difficulties with transport can also be a huge issue.

Pinko - we have the joys of claiming under the adult criteria now. Currently awaiting a reconsideration but if it's a no I don't think I have stomach for appeal. Especially as she really only qualifies for LRM now, which I'm obviously thankful for but which will be gone under the new rules anyway.

Pass the cyanide!