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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be taken aback this woman is getting DLA?

443 replies

lesley33 · 31/01/2012 23:39

Was talking at work with the receptionist about the changes to DLA and the move to PIP. I am worried about how this will negatively affect some people. However I was taken aback when the receptionist said that she would lose lower rate DLA which she got for depression.

I know she had depression a couple of years ago. But since then she has been in work every day and always seemed fine at work. I know people can be depressed and seem fine, but really if you can manage to work with depression then surely you shouldn't be getting DLA?

Just to say she is a very honest type of person and I am sure wouldn't have lied to get DLA. She hasn't been off sick. And what sticks in the throat a bit is I know there are other colleagues on low wages who have honestly struggled with mental health problems during this time such as anxiety and depression.

And I know you can work and get DLA. I just think if your disability is depression and you can work fine then you shouldn't get DLA. I am her manager so I know she has had no sick leave and there are no special measures in place to support her.

OP posts:
foglike · 01/02/2012 00:23

There's so much wrong with the OP it's unbelievable and VU.

DLA has got nothing to do with your fitness to work.

I'd hate to have a judgey manager tut tutting and assuming they know me.

BluddyMoFo · 01/02/2012 00:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbwitch · 01/02/2012 00:29

silverbay - UTIs for children are not necessarily "having wee that stings" - they could be preliminary to kidney failure, she could have urinary reflux, she might need all sorts of other treatments - it's not "just cystitis" like an adult would have.

I also object to the OP's tone. It's none of your business and you have no idea what that DLA might mean to the person in question's depression. So butt out and stop being so judgmental!

WorraLiberty · 01/02/2012 00:33

I guess it makes me angry because I see so many people genuinely struggling to work, look after their kids and hold things together who get no real support and certainly don't get dla

Lol and yet wasn't it you who wanted to report your own friend/acquaintance to the council for selling a bit of surplus fruit and veg to help pay the rent on her allotment?

You couldn't make it up!

CardyMow · 01/02/2012 00:35

FFS. What IS it with the disabled-bashing. . I am glad you're not MY manager. Then again, I doubt you'd hire someone with uncontrolled epilepsy who may have a day off sick each week. I don't get any disability benefits. Doesn't mean I'm not disabled.

Do you know if she has panic attacks in unfamiliar places? Do you know if she can prepare a simple meal unaided? Do you know if she cannot sleep at night as insomnia is often a symptom of depression? These are all reasons why she might get DLA.

What, however, is YOUR reason for being so nosy? Why should she have to justify herself to YOU? If she has been awarded it, then I am in no doubt that she needs it, as it is so fucking hard to get DLA even when you DO have a disability! There's a 40+ page claim form, you have to submit eveidence from your GP, any consultants, any psychiatrists, any psycholigists, any carers, you often have to have a medical assessment too.

YOU try to claim DLA for depression and see how easy it is...

LineRunner · 01/02/2012 00:38

Can I say 'fuck' now? In a whole sentence?

CardyMow · 01/02/2012 00:39

So, in answer to your question AIBU, the answer is YES, YABvvvvvU.

garlicfrother · 01/02/2012 00:40

I'd say that, as she was so open about receiving DLA to a colleague who might judge her incorrectly, she probably does have mental health issues requiring support. She made herself vulnerable there, didn't she?

Have a look at this.

garlicfrother · 01/02/2012 00:42

... and be careful how you spread your malicious speculations at work. The DDA applies even if she hasn't requested special accommodations.

brdgrl · 01/02/2012 00:49

I am glad you're not MY manager.
don't worry; read upthread - that bit was a lie.

GirlWithPointyShoes · 01/02/2012 00:53

Ah-ha. Ahahaha. AHA.

Sorry, As someone on DLA for "Depression" I think it is the only thing people can say without going into exact detail about out mental illness.

I'm Bi-polar. I also have a child. I also have a DP who works.

I'm also a great mum, I care for my mother who has polio and I'm a blast to be around!

I cannot tell when I won't be well. I cannot phone up a manager and say "Hey, I won't be able to get out of bed from the 1st of February until the 15th" As I would be fired.

I use my DLA to go swimming which helps. It means I leave the house once and a while. I also use it for a local Councillor who leads me in the right direction. I used to use the money towards a basic English course so I can write with basic punctuality because I didn't want to let my son down when I /if I have to write to his teacher.

I left school when I was 14 because my hair fell out with stress due to my illness.

Would you like her to tell you all these things when meeting her? Or would that make you feel uncomfortable?

Hrmm?

GirlWithPointyShoes · 01/02/2012 01:00

I cannot believe I'm actually crying! I'm a name changer and have been on MN for 3 years. I should be used to this.

brdgrl · 01/02/2012 01:09

girl, i actually found it quite a relief when i read this thread - i think the majority have quite sensibly reacted with disgust and impatience. that's quite good, really! :)

(you should be very proud of yourself, by the way.)

brdgrl · 01/02/2012 01:09

three "quites" in that last post - sorry.

georgethecat · 01/02/2012 04:03

Yawn, more benefits drama

TanteRose · 01/02/2012 04:16

everyone who thinks like the OP should read The Spoon Theory

its on a web site called "But You Don't Look Sick"

hugs to GirlwithPointyShoes

HungryHelga · 01/02/2012 04:33

I do think DLA does go to far too many people. Not saying there's nothing wrong with them, but it should not be the governments job be throwing money around willy nilly that in the past, and in most other countries in the world, would just get on with things, live normal lives and not think of themselves as being disabled.

Thumbwitch · 01/02/2012 04:39

Nope, can't even be bothered to answer the astounding ignorance in the last post. Was going to try but it just isn't worth it.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 01/02/2012 04:41

GirlWithPointyShoes don't let the ignorant minority get you down, it isn't worth it.

TanteRose · 01/02/2012 04:43

also just found this excellent article

its from 2010 but explains DLA.
I guess it will be out of date soon...

ExpatAgain · 01/02/2012 04:44

god, i think the poor OP raised a perfectly valid question! She's talking about someone she sees at work, who gets this benefit and is wondering..She is a taxpayer and has that right!

That is NOT to say that those of you on here who get it, shouldn't, nor that depression is not disabling..

Girlwiht pointyshoes - sounds like you have a lot on your plate, esp being a carer also. I do however know several people who get nothing at all towards health/life-enhancing things such as sport/s, counselling, adult ed classes who live with depression of varying degress of severity.

Many with depression and other disabilities have to pay their way entirely so it IS valid to ask why some people get certain benefits and some don't - practice does seem to be inconsistent and gov needs to rectify this. This is not a personal attack on anyone here, just a citizen/taxpayer asking the question.

It's a tough one, there is not a bottomless pot of money

ExpatAgain · 01/02/2012 04:50

Thumbwitch, why "ignorance" rather than "alternative point of view of the last post"? Isn't MN all about debate, DIFFERENT viewpoints?

I'm living in a developing country, currently and I see how many/most people live with disabilities without support. I am definitely NOT saying that is a good thing, there should always be support of the vulnerable in society but the system should always be evaluated, be value for money, be going to the right people, be supported by its citizens and therefore be up for discussion!

Breitling · 01/02/2012 05:28

i think the OP has a point in wondering aloud why someone who has suffered depression 2 years ago is working full time and claiming the dla.
Reasonable thought to ponder.
They are going to cut back on the DLA and other benefits as there is simply not enough money in the pot anymore due to the huge rise in claimants over recent years.
From what I see in her post she is not 'disabled bashing'. She is not saying other people should not claim, just surpised that you can claim it for depression you may have had 2 years back.
It is unfortunate but a reality that there is not enough money to go round everyone who wishes/needs to claim.
So therefore, she finds it strange, and I am sure many others who read but do not dare to post for fear of being called a benefit/disabled basher can be claiming. No we do not know the full story of this woman. But she does have presumably a reasonable income, which is a bit different to someone who needs a full time carer but cannot get one, or needs specialist equipment but cannot get it, or respite and cannot get it.
I think this is what the OP is getting at. And I have to stick my neck out on the line and agree with her.

Breitling · 01/02/2012 05:34

II am now prepared for a flaming, but before I am, I would ask those who are going to flame me in explaining how one can pluck money from thin air.

I listened on the radio yesterday to a lovely lady who is blind, has ms and has been in a wheelchair for years. She spends her days in the wheelchair, dark glasses on, head in a support listening to Talking Books. Her talking books are to be removed due to cutbacks.

I felt so moved to tears because she said although shesuffers and is in such immense pain, she can lose herself in these talking books and forget about her illnesses.

The cost? 82 quid per year. This womans sole enjoyment in her day to day life is being removed.

aybe is is stories like this that the OP has heard about.

ExpatAgain · 01/02/2012 05:42

i'm with you on that, i've worked around some severely physically disabled people who didn't get enough support.

however, things like "talking books" have been superceded by iplayer, audiobooks etc, all available for free/cheaper so it makes sense to cut back on this providing there is a viable alternative in place.