To be pretty upset that ds1 has been assessed as overweight and not to find any of the 'Top Tips' relevant to us?

[lecce]

Ds1 (4.10) was weighed and measured at school and we received a letter today telling us he is on the 91st BMI centile and therefore is just into the overweight category.

Of course I am upset. I had no idea there was a problem. I suppose he does look a little more 'solid' than some children, indeed some children I see do look particularly tiny. Ds has no rolls of fat, no double chin and his tummy still sticks out a bit (only noticeable when naked) and you can see and feel his ribs.

The last time he was weighed and measured (about 2 years ago) he was on the 75th centile for height and the 50+ for weight - so longer than wide. However, now these seem to have swapped over and he isn't so tall but appears to be chunkier.

I have always considered his diet to be good. The booklet the NHS have sent is full of tips about cutting down on biscuits, crisps etc but we very rarely have these. We don't keep biscuits in the house, or crisps. He loves all fruit and mostly snacks on that or oat cakes but he doesn't snack a huge amount at all. We may put peanut butter on the oatcake, but spread it thinly. Puddings are fruit, alone or with Greek yoghurt. About once every six weeks or so we bake flapjacks or fruit muffins. We visit MacD's once every six weeks or so. Dh cooks all our meals from scratch - pasta sauces etc. I noticed today he'd put a little butter on the potatoes and carrots - should we not be doing that at all?

Among my friends, I am considered on the strict side regarding food but, in fact, nothing is off limits but it is limited, iyswim. His diet has a few 'naughty' things in it but is basically pretty good and very low on processed food. He only drinks water with the occassional glass of milk or carton drink when we are out - a couple of times a month.

He walks to school, goes to the playground for 30-40mins every day, has swimming lessons once a week, dance lesson once a week and uses his scooter, balance bike or legs both days of the weekend pretty much without fail. He is not a total whirlwind, like some boys his age, but that is just his nature and he's certainly no couch potato either.

I just feel so down about this - like we have let him down. The letter is saying about how he is likely to suffer from health problems and be overweight as an adult and I could just cry. Yet looking through the tips, we already do pretty much everything they suggest. I really didn't think young children were supposed to follow a 'low-fat' diet, I though it was about balance but we've obviously got it wrong .

Would love some suggestions from anyone about what we could do about this.

Btw, I am not overweight (slightly under) and dh is a little but he is ridiculously tall so hides it well! We all eat the same food, pretty much, though not the same portion sizes, obviously.

Chas - in my experience SS don't want to know. I referred two siblings who were morbidly obese - parents repeatedly failed to attend paed and dietician appointments - SS sided with the parents who complained they were being victimised and I ended up getting threatened and verbally abused by the father for making the referral. So everyone is scared of the family now and no one doing anything to help the children.

" the whole sorry idea would be scrapped...WHY would anyone...agree to their child being weighed when they know there is no problem?"

Because it helps everyone in the community. This programme has been running since the 1940s and has provided unique and valuable data, and this evidence is used to plan health services for the population as a whole.

And we wonder why there are anorexic 10+ year olds.

Yes but there are very few anorexic 10 year olds. There are a lot more ten year old porkers! I'm writing that as someone who is on the plump side myself now but as a child I was like an urchin. I did the usual 'put on weight gradually after Uni' thing but at least I know my weight isn't good - because I have a baseline slimness to compare it with. It worries me to see so many children who are fat because as adults they will think their obesity is somehow normal - which it isn't.

'Yes but there are very few anorexic 10 year olds. There are a lot more ten year old porkers'
true ..but it's a million times better for a 10 yr old to be plump than anorexic!

Realistically we could scrap the weighings and measurings and teachers could just write a very short list of the obese children in the school. But obviously this wouldn't go down well as it wouldn't be as objective as BMI, even though it would be a much better way of really identifying children with problems. You would need a small committee to ensure consistency in the school.

Well any 10 year olds at all with eating disorders is pretty bloody awful.

Being examined by the same nanny state that permits the sexulisation of childhood is likely to send out quite a few mixed messages, I would have thought.

Ignore the BMI - just take a look at your child. I have a number of 'chunky' kids in my class, i notice mainly when they are changing for PE. Some of them have quite a layer of fat around their middles, even if they have skinny little legs. A child could have a higher BMI but be in solid muscular shape (be a gymnast for eg) and come out as overweight - a child with little skinny legs but a fat belly could come out as OK - when clearly they're the ones who could do with doing more exercise!
I'd say, just use your common sense, look at them and be honest.
p.s I disagree with weighing them - we're a nation obsessed with weight! I think we should be obsessed with exercise instead!

I've ust put his stats into the NHS BMI calculator and he's come out as a healthy weight

These stupid letters are never going to get the parents who are really feeding their kids crap and whose kids are obese to change their eating habits and do more exercise.

All they'll do is make good parents with slightly chubby kids anxious over every spoon of yoghurt or scoop of ice cream. (And the kids)

It's nonsense.

And he's still there, for one night only, on my profile, to prove it. My clinically obese son when he was 16.

I do agree about the exercise, Kites.

Why are Headteachers in this country being permitted to ban pupils from cycling to school?

Why is the motoring lobby so very powerful in rubbishing shared space?

Why are school lunchtimes now restricted to 20-30 minutes thus denying kids a good 30 minutes of running around time like we used to have?

And why is any muscular development in sporty kids measured as fat?

differentname this is exactly why BMI can be a load of old rubbish! Your son looks fit, athletic and incredibly healthy!

I personally think ALL primary school kids should be made to do 30 mins of running every morning around the field! I lived in Oz for a while, and that's what the local school there did. Not ONE slightly chubby/obese kid to be seen!

My DS's school day (state school) is ridiculously short.

8.30am start. Sit on arse for 30 mins in registration or assembly.

Various lessons. PE only once a week.

30 minutes lunch break, spent queuing for food which includes a choice of chips, burgers, pizzas as well as (limp) salads and (cold) vegetables.

2.30pm. Finish.

I arrange and mostly pay for my DS to do the sporty after-school clubs. I don't think that sending a 'BMI alert' horror letter is going to change anything for the sedentary genuinely fat kids.

The whole bloody school day doesn't make any sense any more.

diffrentname how come they weighed him at age 16? I thought they weighed in reception and Y6. My 17 yo and his peers were certainly never weighed at secondary school.

wow - 2.30pm finish?! that's crazy. I'm a teacher - I actually work everynight til 6pm at school anyways (and quite often at home, but that's another story!)...i actually think that kids should be in school til at least 4 pm. My school finishes at 3.15am. I'd be quite happy to have more time - it feels like I'm rushing a huge syllabus struggling to get everything covered.

Dandelionss - It was part of an academic study iirc - the GCSE kids were measured against bmi charts

lecce - DS1 was exactly the same as your DS. I asked a paediatrician about it and she said just feed him a healthy diet, dont attempt to make him lose weight and it will right itself. At that age kids just grow in odd ways.

It turns out DS1 barely put on any weight until age 7 as he ran about so much at school and he just stretched out and and is now bang on the 50th percentile age 12.

I know, Kite. Bloody crazy. They do afterschool sports clubs but they are voluntary and charged for - whereas they should be part of the school day and free.

It's quite common.

But in furball link this boy is overweight.Look at his chubby arms and look at the size of the trousers he is wearing !I think that proves the crux of the problem is parents don't recognise an overweight child when they see one!!

Yes, parents won't necessarily see it, but at the end of the day, is a letter from school, with no other support/help, really going to help parents who are in denial and not seeing it?

Personally, I don't think so

Gahhh! I hate these letters, you manage to give up the HV twisting your view of a perfectly healthy child and the you get one of these letters.
Poor you, you have my sympathy.
I think your detail on diet says it all, such a good balanced mix of food groups.
I bet he will have a huge growth spurt any time now, from the other posts, all our kids do it.
Big Hugs, sounds like you are doing good to me

Agree that the state could actually do more to ensure healthier eating and more activity in school. Does any child in this day and age need a pudding every day? They don't get one at home - at least not in our house, not even a yogurt - but they do get one at school every single day and usually of the rib-sticking sort (banana sponge and custard....). Maybe in the 50s with no heating at home and lots of playing outside in the street but most 21st century lifestyles just don't require this.

.

And at my daughter's new build school there is no outside space. Just playdecks which are partially covered and do not provide the space I grew up with to spend hours practising cartwheels or playing hey presto (and I was not an active child but I seem to recall spending hours doing this or elastics or something active). And in the morning while waiting for the bell to ring, the teacher on duty asks the children to stop running around because they might knock someone over. So with the curriculum crammed and only an hour a week for PE at my daughter's age, and people not willing to shell out the tax money necessary to safeguard or even provide school playing fields, what do people expect but that children will get bigger?

Children who are very under- or overweight don't (or shouldn't!) just get the standard NCMP letter home though.

Their growth chart is also reviewed by a school nurse and if necessary they may have a visit with the nurse and the parents, possibly a referral to a dietitian or paediatrician, or access to a MEND programme or even a CAMHS referral.

DON'T cut back on fats or protein!! If you want to cut back on anything in his diet then it should be sugar and starch. Having said that, I'm pretty sure that BMI for children is nonsense.

Yes..can confirm kids not allowed to do handstands, cartwheels etc at school or run around (dangerous, could slip etc). Not my personal opinion that it's the right thing at all....blame the nanny state we now live in who would sue the school if their child were injured!

Definitely agree that kids of the 70's/80's etc did a lot more exercise in general - walking/cycling to school, lots and lots of running around.gymnastics etc at break and lunchtimes and at least 3 PE sessions a week.

My kids at school get 2 hrs of PE a week. That includes getting changed etc...so consider it more like 90 mins if they're lucky! NOT enough to keep anyones child fit and healthy.