Are you scared of Social Workers?

[JugsyMalone]

I watched something on TV last night about social workers. I thought they were perfectly reasonable people trying to do a hard job. However, there was this nagging voice in my head saying "if they saw the house right now...." Laundry overflowing (far too much school uniform, a one use towel habit in the house and the dog's muddy paws in winter), mucky carpet (dog/winter/hoover needs replaced), we are all messy people and the toilet seat is broken, again. I desperately need to redecorate.

We sometimes have takeaways or good M&S ready meals and I smoke fags now and then in the garden. Sometimes I get pissed on a Friday with my mates. Sometimes their kids and mine are upstairs playing on xbox and eating chocolate and pizza whilst we get pissed and do kaeroke (sp?) dowstairs. I also hate getting up early on the weekend and let the kids watch (slightly) over age films, with me.

I have had 2 contacts with SWs ever, one to get DS2 into a special nursery (years ago). They were really kind and nice. Another (even more years ago) to get help with points to get a council house due to poor living conditions in a horrible flat, again really helpful.

But an unscheduled visit? OMG - have done laundry and kitchen and hoovering after watching TV.

I know IABU but wondered if anyone else felt this way?

Someone is bumping old SS threads today.

Bashing social workers? Must be Friday.

I am a bit nervous but I am going to phone SS to ask for help.

I am worried because our house is a complete hovel (that is the main reason we are asking for help - we are struggling with our health and can't manage even the bare minimum) but I know they will see how much we love our DCs.

In fact I am more worried that they will see we are just about managing the most important things (the DCs are fed, clothed and walked to school on time) and say we can't get any help!

Oops didn't see this was an old thread. An interesting debate nonetheless.

As a foster carer I have worked with, and got to know loads of SWs. They are just like us. They eat, poo, yell at their dc and have takeaways
to save on washing up. They do a very difficult, stressfull job which you couldn't pay me enough to do.

thisisreallife

Why not start a thread and copy and paste that post into your OP?

I mean rather than pissing everyone off with the thread bumping.

www.false-allegations.org.uk/false-allegations.html have a look at this instead

Most of the SWs I come into contact with through my job (police) are nice, normal people that do a very difficult job working with some fucking awful people who don't give a single tiny little shite about their children and are impossible to help. I wouldn't do their job for the world - especially in children's services.

I also find it helpful to bear in mind in these "social services stole my baby" scenarios that bad parents seldom take kindly to it being pointed out.

I was absolutely petrified tonight when one turned up on my door.

Luckily she had a bottle of wine with her and demanded we have a night out

And did you
I have two friends who are ex social workers both meant well but couldn't stand the system. The easy work popping around to investigate somebody's over flowing dustbin seemed to always be allocated to the same people whilst the younger less experience staff got to visit num on crack with newborn but you must so much as pick the baby up even though it stinks of poo cases. Both had a break down and left.

A mother?s fight to see her children

Published on Saturday 21 July 2012 09:45

ON A day like any other last May a Boston woman got her children up and ready, dropped her eldest son at school and took her youngest son to the hospital.

By the end of the day both of her children had been taken away from her and placed into care. They have not been home since, and every day she has had to face the fact she may never see her boys again.

More than a year on, the 28-year-old has vowed she will do whatever it takes to get her children back with her ? even if it means fighting social services all the way to the Royal Courts of Justice.

She told The Standard: ?These are my babies and I will fight this every step of the way.?

When the boys were originally taken into care, the woman, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, was told that doctors had been under the impression that the younger boy had been absued. He had bruises on his back and an injury to the inside of his bottom lip.

However, The Standard has been shown letters from a consultant stating that, in his medical opinion, the injury could have been caused by the toddler falling on to his face. The boys? mother said she told the doctors at the time that the toddler, who has been classified as ?a difficult child?, had a habit of head banging.

There was no evidence of mistreatment with the older child, and documents show he was put into care because it was believed he may face emotional issues in later life.

Last month, following a total of 14 court hearings, Lincolnshire County Council was granted full care orders by the court for both the boys, and given permission by a judge to seek adoption placements for them.

The woman said she is currently working on an appeal against the order, and if she is not successful, she will carry the case through as far as is necessary.

She said: ?Through the whole case, nothing has been proven. There?s no evidence and no consistency. It?s all based on opinion.

?They are my kids. I would never do anything to hurt them.?

Since the boys were removed from her care last May, the woman has been able to have regular contact with them, but with the full care order in place, she can see them only once a fortnight.

After November, that will be reduced to once every two months for her younger son, and then, if suitable adoption placements are found, she could never see them again.

The woman is part of several online groups supporting parents with similar stories, including an organisation called Parents Against Injustice (PAIN), a voluntary group helping to raise awareness of people in this situation.

She will speak at PAIN?s annual conference in Skegness later this year.

Stuart Carlton, assistant director of Children?s Services for Lincolnshire County Council, said: ?We are unable to comment on any individual cases, but together with our partners, the safety and welfare of children is a top priority.

?These type of decisions on where children should live are taken through a legal process with the best interests of children at heart. All parties are independently represented, including the children and young people involved.

?We will continue to do all we can to ensure children and young people are safe and well cared for.?

Mum on the run: Pregnant teen flees to Ireland to escape social workers she fears will take her baby
By NEIL SEARS
UPDATED: 08:12, 1 September 2008
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Far from home: Sam Thomas has fled to Ireland to have her baby
A mother-to-be has fled to Ireland because she fears social services are planning to seize her newborn child and have it adopted.
Sam Thomas, 19, left Britain alone, despite being heavily pregnant.
She discovered that her social worker had told the local hospital not to let her leave the maternity ward with her child - a girl - without social services being involved.
The county council has not obtained a court order giving it authority to keep Miss Thomas in the hospital, and she has no history of being a danger to children - yet social workers appear convinced she is unfit to care for her baby.
Last night an MP who is campaigning against local authorities' power to remove children from their parents and have them adopted said he was aware of the case.
Liberal Democrat John Hemming claimed that the local authority had been heavy-handed.
In some cases, he said, fearful parents feel they have no option other than to flee to Ireland or Sweden, where it is difficult for councils to take children away from them.
'Miss Thomas is right to worry that if the new baby is taken into care after birth she might end up getting adopted,' he said.
Miss Thomas, staying in bed and breakfast accommodation in Ireland, said: 'All I want is the opportunity to prove I can be a fit mother - but I feel like I'm on the run.
'It's the only way to make sure I can have my baby girl and be with her in peace.'
She had been living in Yeovil, Somerset, with her mother Carol Hughes and looking forward to the birth of her first child.
She became concerned, however, at Somerset County Council's growing interest in the birth, due in early October - and says it soon became clear that there was a risk she would not be able to keep her child.
Miss Thomas accepts that she has harmed herself and taken an overdose in the past, but insists she has not been troubled by problems related to depression for two years.
Yet council documents show her past difficulties are still considered serious.
There is a further issue surrounding claims that she has failed to take medication for a health condition related to blood-clotting.
She feared a child protection conference arranged for today would result in her child being taken from her.
A letter sent by Somerset County Council social worker Carly Barrett to Yeovil District Hospital earlier this month instructed that after the birth 'under no circumstances must Miss Thomas be discharged without Children's Social Care involvement'.
Miss Thomas fled to Wexford last week, where she is signed up with a GP and is in contact with Irish social services. She plans to name her daughter Ellie-Jay.
She said: 'I don't want to be here - but I feel I have no choice.
'Social services have made me out to be an unfit mother but everything in their reports is either wrong, or out of context. They're not listening to anything I've got to say.'
Miss Thomas's mother Carol is supporting her emotionally and financially from back home in Yeovil.
Somerset County Council said it could not discuss individual cases.

Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1051180/Mum-run-Pregnant-teen-flees-Ireland-escape-social-workers-fears-baby.html#ixzz2AV62VwXu
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Would have been rude not to

They do a lot of good and we need them, just like we need the police. But there are some who are not so good and tell lies, but maybe they think they are doing good by doing this who knows.

We adopted 3 children and now losing them due to their issues. SS have stopped and rejected any therapy for our daughter (sever attachment disorder) and our son has recently been sexually exploited by a man. So the result is that SS get a psychological evaluation of ourselves, before they take all 3 children!
We need serious help!

With our 3 children, we thought SS did a good job, but now us after 8 years. Where does it end? Think of what its doing to the kids!

Absolutely fucking terrified of them. I'm too scared to answer the door when I'm not expecting someone in case it's sw and they find me lacking. I also get panic attacks when my house isn't show home perfect and am too scared to let anyone else see it in case they call sw and complain about me.

Not particularly afraid, but wouldn't want to have any dealings with them.

Zombie thread

Reading this thread again, I'm baffled at the show home comments. Dog shit mashed into the carpets and days old mouldy food in a burnt pan is a problem. Overflowing laundry, toys everywhere, dishes from the last few days is normal. There is a difference between a trip hazard of piles of lego (normal) and spikes coming out of the floor (obv not normal).

My friend needed to have some dealings with sw due to her son's illness. Sw wrote in her report: "mother presents a bad impression as she always dresses in dark clothes and wears age-inappropriate make up...."
REALLY? ffs

I have been scared of them, but unreasonably, I think. The scare stories got to me, and I thought that because I'm a fairly young mum, living away from family, and earlier in the pregnancy I expressed an interest in relinquishing the baby for adoption (she's two weeks old now and I wouldn't be without her for the world), I'd automatically be a target for social workers and they'd take my baby away and that was that. It was a very strong fear, to the extent of having crippling nightmares for most of the pregnancy about social workers taking the baby away - but the resource create by mumsnetters (I can't remember who exactly or the name of it, but it's brilliant and I hope it's already been posted somewhere, I haven't RTFT sorry)

The resource helped me to see it rationally, and I know deep down - why would they exist to take babies away? Why would they go out of their way to create extra work, to require extra money for the court processes, just to meet fictional adoption targets?

Ahh.. perhaps if I had RTFT I'd have seen it's a zombie.

I think it's quite important to remember that mess and chaos does automatically equal neglect. I had a friend in school who had a beautiful house, lovely clothes and toys, a nice bedroom etc. and it wasn't until we were adults that she admitted the terrible childhood she had and the reason she left home at 16 and never went back.