To think the carer of this girl with learning disabilities needs telling!

[mummy2stan]

I take my son to a activity centre a couple of times a week and there is a young woman in there all the time who is clearly mentally handicapped, whilst I have no problem at all with this I do have one with the so called carers that are with her. Two weeks ago whilst my 18 month old son was sat in a high chair having his lunch, the girl came over started pinching his cheek and saying BOO really loudly and in his face, my son is a shy boy and isn't good with strangers anyway so at first he just stared and then after about 5 BOOS started to cry, I smiled politely at the carer who was stood with the girl saying ......gently.... Gently now.... And she did nothing to stop her until he was crying his heart out at which she then pulled the girl away. And then yesterday I watched as the girl followed a 2 year old around saying ... You've been naughty .... You've been naughty... Till the 2 year old got to her mother clearly upset, then the girl proceeded to try to pick her up, pulling her away from her mother, and all the while the carer is stood beside her saying nothing!!!! Now. Whilst I understand this girl may well have the mental age of 5 she is intact at least 20 yrs old and I don't think she should be allowed to behave this way towards other children. If she knows no wrong in it, then the carers should stop it before it makes other children cry! Why should we accept it because she's disabled? I feel I may have to speak to the manager if she approaches my son again because I take him there so he can interact with other children, not be pestered and scared by another adult. Once again my problem is not with the girl as such, more the people who are supposed to be watching her. Am I wrong to complain if she upsets him?

I think all of those Fanjo

sevenfold if someone has a sn child, instead of asking "whatever wrong with them" what would he Tue correct way for me to word the question? What is their condition? Is that ok?

hey bobble, it's not a choice

nailak why would you ask?
If I choose to tell people I will,
if they ask what is wrong with her I will say nothing.

sorry nailak sounded sharp there, jsut don't understand why anyone would ask.

Where have people said it's ok to chase after children, pick them up and shout in their face? If a 5 year old did it, or an adult with LD's did it my response would be the same. It's really not rocket science.

Well said SaintlyJimjams.

Pocpoc, yes I just am annoyed because you corrected me, not because you can't see why there are nicer ways to refer to a woman who isn't your 'service use'. Grow up. Clearly you are just thinking from the bunfight POV and not a real considered one.

Bobbledunk - attitudes like yours are why my friend turned up at my house in TEARS yesterday. Because she had had to endure an entire bus journey listening to two women muttering about how a 'spaz' shouldn't be allowed out. About how a 'retard' should be kept locked away from everyone - after all, you never know, they could just flip and kill you.

Yes, she has learning difficulties. But she is just a woman like you and me. She enjoys popping round for a cuppa, a chat and sitting down with DS3 and playing with his toys!

WHY do you think it is wrong for people with learning difficulties or other disabilities to be integrated fully into society. And that doesn't necessarily mean that they will conform to societal norms. It means that society needs to be ACCEPTING OF THEIR DIFFERENCES.

So if my 8yo DS2 runs up to you and licks your cashmere jumper, please don't be alarmed. He has sensory issues due to his Autism. It is normal to him, even if it isn't to you.

nailak- I don't mind what terms people ask, providing they ask nicely and with a smile.

I've recently had 'if you don't mind me asking what's wrong, well not wrong, what does your child have'. The person asking was struggling how to phrase it, but was asking in an interested and kindly way. So I explained. No problem.

Oh sigh, they're not like cute animals to coo at.

sevenfold recently I met a woman at the children's centre who started talking ti me about how lonely she wad and how hard it was for her to get out, and I was interested in engaging her, seeing if there wad anyway I could help her etc, and part of that being interested in her life is asking about her dd? Just like people ask me about my kids?

nailak - I replied a few posts up. Just ask in the way people ask about your kids. You can't go wrong if you are interested and friendly really.

nailak, is that an offer, I could do with some help, I have mine 24/7 since he can't access school due to his needs and I can't get out as he is so uncontrollable. Which means I am stuck in for most of it. On top of that due to his needs he has to have constant supervision, meaning no housework till hubby gets in, he's demanding, i'm tired and now i'm ill, how am I gonna cope?

You are so patronising it's untrue

Not me, will leave you to your icky 'I saw some lovely sweet people with learning difficulties at work and let one of them lick me like a dog..I wasn't scared as his carer was holding him back, aren't I tolerant and fucking amazing' tosh

Oh yawn

I have one too, It's called dontgiveafuckitis. Night night