To think the carer of this girl with learning disabilities needs telling!

[mummy2stan]

I take my son to a activity centre a couple of times a week and there is a young woman in there all the time who is clearly mentally handicapped, whilst I have no problem at all with this I do have one with the so called carers that are with her. Two weeks ago whilst my 18 month old son was sat in a high chair having his lunch, the girl came over started pinching his cheek and saying BOO really loudly and in his face, my son is a shy boy and isn't good with strangers anyway so at first he just stared and then after about 5 BOOS started to cry, I smiled politely at the carer who was stood with the girl saying ......gently.... Gently now.... And she did nothing to stop her until he was crying his heart out at which she then pulled the girl away. And then yesterday I watched as the girl followed a 2 year old around saying ... You've been naughty .... You've been naughty... Till the 2 year old got to her mother clearly upset, then the girl proceeded to try to pick her up, pulling her away from her mother, and all the while the carer is stood beside her saying nothing!!!! Now. Whilst I understand this girl may well have the mental age of 5 she is intact at least 20 yrs old and I don't think she should be allowed to behave this way towards other children. If she knows no wrong in it, then the carers should stop it before it makes other children cry! Why should we accept it because she's disabled? I feel I may have to speak to the manager if she approaches my son again because I take him there so he can interact with other children, not be pestered and scared by another adult. Once again my problem is not with the girl as such, more the people who are supposed to be watching her. Am I wrong to complain if she upsets him?

Don't despair Fanjo, I think there is a lot of good to come from this thread too. At least one person is now aware that certain words are offensive, that can only be a good thing.

I do find it sad that there are people who feel the need to be scared of those with LDs though, but take heart that not everyone thinks like that. People just need to realise that everyone really does have something to offer others in this life, SN or not, severe or not.

And, I have to say - the lack of care from the carer in the OP's post is exactly the reason why I am worried about what will happen to my two dc with Autism when I die.

Ok, now I'm confused!

I thought 'service user' was well accepted, and it's a term I frequently hear many disabled people use.

I would probably not have used the same wording as the OP but reading through this post now i still have no idea what wording i would or should be using. My aunt always called herself "handicapped" but she was in her 90s when she died a few months ago so perhaps this is why, she didnt seem to find that insulting at all.

With the original incident i probably would have reacted by firstly saying something alng the lines of "i dont think he likes that" if that didnt work i woudl pick the baby up and move away. I have to say though i would have been pretty annoyed to be he mother of the two year old if the woman had tried to take her out of my arms though, i would have said something to the carer if it got to that point.

I know people are probably reading this thinking i am an awful person but if i am honest i woukd have reacted exactly as above. I dont care if she woman goes to soft play i dont care if she wants to talk to my children but i still would have no idea how to react to the situaiton other than as i would if anyone pinched or tried to pull at my baby?

Service user only applies to people using a service. The clue is in the name.

Pocpoc..accepted yes, but a bit dehumanising to define someone as that when you aren't talking in a professional capacity.

Tell your friend what you like. Don't brandish the NHS at me thinking it will make me capitulate to your argument.

Why is this thread still revolving about definitions and correct terms? The accepted UK term is learning disabilities. Self advocacy groups, parents etc are reasonably happy with it.

Mentally handicapped went out with the ark and any health professional still using it is 30 years behind.

The ignorance and plain misunderstandings around people with learning disabilities on this thread has astonished me. No wonder life expectancy and quality of life for people with learning disabilities is so poor when their interactions with people around them in society is a hotbed of false assumptions and fear.

Look at the 6 lives report. People are dying because of attitudes such as these. This sounds like an exaggeration. It isn't.

Correct schmorrect, we are not talking in a professional capacity here but discussing a woman, a person, not a 'service user'

I doubt if the carer/PA calls the person service user when talking to the, most likely calls them their name.

The Carer who takes my DD out doesn't call her her 'service user'...she calls her....wait for it....

HER NAME

I see we are posting the same thing at same time again Sevenfold

This adult is making babies cry because her behaviour is scary for them. This behavour is inappropriate. It is hateful disablism to recognise this, those evil prejudiced babies and their vile mothers who don't delight in adult sized strangers charging toward them.

Reading this thread I can certainly understand why many posters are unwelcome in public areas.

I get that, I wouldn't want people discussing my dd using her real name,
not that I mind now as she is in a secure environment, but I hate all the stuff I see on places like this where cares and people who work with people with sn seem to discuss their service users.

A small boy once came over to my premature daughter and put his finger in her mouth. I asked the boy not to and gently removed his hand.

Should all 5year old boys be banned from public places?

Get some perspective! All people with learning disabilities are not baby pinchers.

Reading this thread I can certainly understand why many posters are unwelcome in public areas.

what an odd thing to say

It can be scary when someone can be physically aggressive, hence where my post was coming from, which seems to have went overlooked:

I haven't read all the posts, however why don't you have a word with the carers, work with them on what is acceptable for you and what you don't want the young lady to do. After all we are supposed to be more intergrated and accepting. It may be that the carer was doing what was best for the lady, by staying calm, keeping a distance and watching. Maybe you could of removed your child with an excuse given before he was too upset. By doing this the lady still gets to interact and it's on your terms iyswim. By telling the manager of the activity centre you may be jeapordising the only social setting the lady may accept.

Yes, shocking that people who think it acceptable to charge after other peoples kids, pinch their cheeks, shout in their face could possibly behave or allow their children to behave in such an anti social manner.

the person in the op had a disability did you not see that?

Pocpoc, the lady discussed on this thread is not your 'service user' nor your friend's, so need to bandy the word around in pompous manner

Bobble dunk, I can't work out whether your posts stem from ignorance or rudeness, or just wanting a bunfight