To think the carer of this girl with learning disabilities needs telling!

[mummy2stan]

I take my son to a activity centre a couple of times a week and there is a young woman in there all the time who is clearly mentally handicapped, whilst I have no problem at all with this I do have one with the so called carers that are with her. Two weeks ago whilst my 18 month old son was sat in a high chair having his lunch, the girl came over started pinching his cheek and saying BOO really loudly and in his face, my son is a shy boy and isn't good with strangers anyway so at first he just stared and then after about 5 BOOS started to cry, I smiled politely at the carer who was stood with the girl saying ......gently.... Gently now.... And she did nothing to stop her until he was crying his heart out at which she then pulled the girl away. And then yesterday I watched as the girl followed a 2 year old around saying ... You've been naughty .... You've been naughty... Till the 2 year old got to her mother clearly upset, then the girl proceeded to try to pick her up, pulling her away from her mother, and all the while the carer is stood beside her saying nothing!!!! Now. Whilst I understand this girl may well have the mental age of 5 she is intact at least 20 yrs old and I don't think she should be allowed to behave this way towards other children. If she knows no wrong in it, then the carers should stop it before it makes other children cry! Why should we accept it because she's disabled? I feel I may have to speak to the manager if she approaches my son again because I take him there so he can interact with other children, not be pestered and scared by another adult. Once again my problem is not with the girl as such, more the people who are supposed to be watching her. Am I wrong to complain if she upsets him?

Snap, sevenfold

Blimey, I'd be pretty shocked if I heard a health professional using the term mentally handicapped. And judging from the conversation I had with some social care professionals today it is seen a very offensive word. SO not sure where you've got the idea that it's fine.

and I have a disabled dd, and it is offensive.

I'm sure I'm way too late to reply to this thread but my db has severe learning difficulties and I would be so devastated if someone spoke about him in this way. I am sure if you spoke to the lady and her carer the outcome would be better, please try and understand that everyone deserves good quality of life and if going there is what she enjoys maybe you could find it in your heart to be a bit more forgiving.

So the professionals I work with in the field no longer use the word as it's offensive, I'm a mother who is telling you it's offensive, I have had 2 conversations in the past 2 days about terminiology, (1) with parents (2) with professionals; all have agreed it's offensive but in your head it isn't.

I met an older doctor who told me girls couldn't get autism. doesn't make him right just because he's a doctor. I corrected him, much as I would ask any doctor I came across using the term to use appropriate language.

I don't use it either as Handicapped went out with arc.
I couldn't give a monkeys arse what a doctor calls something, not all doctors are good with sn.

saintlyjimjams I once took dd to an out of hours doctor, he was shocked when I asked if she would be ok for the school trip, he actually voiced the fact that he didn't see the point of children like her going on trips!!
(my gp is lovely perhaps because he has a son with DS)

Girls don't get autism..I wish

Since when have doctors known much about LD's anyway.

I know Americans use handicapped sometimes and it isn't as offensive here, but fgs they call a bum bag a fanny pack. Mentally handicapped is not an appropriate word to use in the UK. If you used it in a meeting with professionals I can guarantee eyebrows would be raised.

Dear god sevenfold! I know my jaw did hit the floor at 'girls don't get autism you know'. He was a GP fgs!!!!

isn't as offensive there

saintlyjimjams They also use Spaz and retard , so hardly think the states is the example to follow

Yes because all people with learning disabilities are secretly violent and aggressive. My DD wouldn't hurt a fly.

Going to bed, a bit despairing at all the shite people are spouting on this thread

My post referred to pocpoc

I don't think it matters whether you as an individual don't find a word offensive. The point is that it is generally considered offensive/outdated and people therefore object to it being applied to them.

Language changes all the time and many words that were once acceptable are now inappropriate. There is nothing inherently offensive in a word - it's just a group of letters/sounds - it's not going to beat you around the head or spit in your tea. The offence comes from the fact that enough people have decided not to use it for whatever reason, so when it is used to describe someone, that person is likely to be offended because they are the target of a term that most people find inappropriate.

So when so many people are saying "I find this offensive", surely you have to accept that it is offensive?

Awful language in your post OP. I lost interest because of that and also because you need to use paragraphs when writing a loooooooong post.

Surely you accept that it IS offensive to most some people who deal day in, day out with relatives or friends with learning difficulties. I personally find it incredibly offensive - just as offensive as 'paki' or 'nigger' or 'queer'. I wouldn't expect people to use THOSE racist and homophobic words in conversation, and by the same token, I don't expect a disablist word to be used either. Altinkum, you have a different cultural idea of the words used than most English people do. I accept that in other cultures, and in America, it may be a widely accepted term, but so is 'spaz' and 'retard'. You wouldn't use those words in conversation in the UK, so why 'mentally handicapped'.

I also fully accept that for people who have been dealing with this from a time BEFORE that term was considered offensive may still use it and have no problem with it (like the poster above said about the mother caring for her 30-odd yo DD who has learning difficulties ). But those of us who have 'only' been dealing with these issues, in the UK, for the last 15 years or so, DO find it an offensive term, and no amount of nay-saying will change that. I would have found that term offensive 18 years ago when my Dbro was diagnosed with Aspergers, so I think it's fair to say that it has been seen as an offensive term for quite some time here.

I did read your post pocpoc, thanks.

You know someone who works in the field so you know better than me eh.

And nice to refer to the woman as a 'service user'. FFS

Altinkum. No-one is saying that YOU have to see it as an offensive term. What they are saying is that someone like me WILL see it as an offensive term, and that the feelings of those you are talking to should be borne in mind.