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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did schools used to be like this?

330 replies

spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 20:58

DS started school FT in January & ever since it's been a constant stream of missives, announcements, edicts & raised brow questioning from his teacher.

The first week he was there I had a constant battle with his teacher because I was sending him to school with a padded body warmer on, not a coat, every day she asked me if he 'has a coat, because we play out every day, even when it's drizzling' & yes, you do, but not WHEN IT'S PISSING DOWN. In which case his arms will get slightly damp, as will his legs & face, how would you like me to mitigate against that, full dry suit & mask?

It was warmish & sunny, biblical floods were not on the horizon .

Consequently, EVERY CHUFFING DAY it's been something, last week was battle of the drinks, they have a school issued water bottle (irritating in itself) which I sometimes put in, he has milk at break & a drink for lunch, I was taken aside twice for not giving him a drink - I had he just didn't arsing drink it, maybe they should have asked him to look in his bag again?

Would you like me to pop in a few times a day to ensure he has fulfilled his government recommended level of fluid intake - WOULD YOU?

On Friday the lovely mum that drops him off sheepishly told me teacher asked her to mention she did NOT LIKE HIS SHOES, they are difficult to do up apparently - I'm sorry, I'll get him some M&S footgloves shall I?

Today's final straw was the letter from the eco-co-ordinator that asked me to reduce waste in his lunch box & that they would be speaking to the children about waste in their lunches THEN COLLECTING & COMPARING THAT WASTE - so you'd like to make my son feel like a miscreant & social pariah because he has a Baby-bel rather than a dried up hunk of cheddar planed from a block would you???

So AIBU to want to run through the school screaming - 'I AM A FREE BORN HUMAN BEING - MY CHILDREN ARE FREE BORN HUMAN BEINGS - I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TEACH THEM MATHS, & READING & SPELLING BUT LEAVE THE REST OF IT TO ME PLEASE'

Am I ?

OP posts:
cinnamonnut · 30/01/2012 21:02

That is seriously excessive Shock
YANBU

PippiL · 30/01/2012 21:07

Do you think you are being picked on a bit? Sounds like it, though obvs not the Eco lunch, that was just bad timing.

Not liking his shoes, wtf?

Juule · 30/01/2012 21:09

yanbu

ilovesooty · 30/01/2012 21:11

The bit about the shoes does make sense to me. It's a nightmare dealing with 30 reception children changing after PE if they have shoes that are difficult to do up.

pointythings · 30/01/2012 21:11

YADNBU, I have never, never had anything like this from my DDs' school. Even their 'walk to school' requests were phrased so as not to guilt-trip us commuting parents.

As for the eco lunch thing - words fail!

cheekyseamonkey · 30/01/2012 21:12

Yanbu but THEY are

squeakytoy · 30/01/2012 21:13

YANBU and I do wish schools could do the job they are meant to do, which is teach.. not concern themselves with things that are none of their business (ffs.. nobody ever died of dehydration because they didnt have a drink every few minutes... and probably needed far less toilet breaks too!)..

What on earth is it to them whether a child has a coat on or not. We are not in Siberia.

Original poster
spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 21:14

I do think I am being picked on Pip - that obvious is it? Every day the woman has something to say to me - every day - there have been other things & he's only been there a month - even DH (who is very laid back) & the mum who drops him of were a bit taken aback.

& she always says these things very loudly, in front of all the other parents dropping off.

I really want to ask her if I've pissed her off in some way.

OP posts:
savoycabbage · 30/01/2012 21:14

Yes, but he has the shoes now. And somebody else was picking him up. The teacher could have casually mentioned over the next six months how it is easier for reception children to have Velcro or whatever so that people could get those the next time round. Seems like madness to send that message home with another person!

Pickgo · 30/01/2012 21:14

YANBU

Turn your OP in to a letter to the school?

PippiL · 30/01/2012 21:14

Must clarify, the Eco thing is unbelievable, but is a school wide thing, not just you. But honestly think the rest is a bit pointed.

They are way our of order. I would be having words.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 30/01/2012 21:15

To be honest all the school is requesting is pretty standard.
Had your DS wore a sleeved jacket and shoes that he could easily put on himself ( I am assuming he needs help to put them on), then nothing would have been said to you. It is January and winter and although I agree our children won't shrivel up in the rain I agree a sleeved coat should be worn. Who wants to wear wet clothes all afternoon?

However, the drinks issue they should have checked.

And I do agree with you regarding the lunch box packaging, but it is standard for most schools now.

It's the start of term, everything is just being ironed out. It will settle down. Your lo enjoying it?

PurplePidjin · 30/01/2012 21:15

Schools are there to teach them how to conform, on that yabu - he needs a coat, and the school water bottle Every Day.

As to whether that's a good idea... YANBU. Unfortunately there's a certain level of suck it up Sad

troisgarcons · 30/01/2012 21:15

Lunch - DO NOT even go there with the lunch box nazis police

Coats - exactly why do I need to buy my child a coat - I drive him to and from school - sorry eco*warriors but I have to drop him off at 7.30 to go to work .... nope he hasnt melted in the rain yet, or gone all fizzy round the edges - and break/lunch is so short that he doesnt get cold running round that the school issue fleece doesnt cope with. I live in London not frigging Siberia

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2012 21:18

I think it's all quite normal apart from the Eco thing

Kids do get uncomfortable sitting in class with damp clothes. You can't do anything about damp trousers but you can send him in a proper coat.

The drink thing..yes they should have checked his bag properly.

The shoes, well unless he can manage to do them up himself it is a massive job for the staff to help out 30 children with their shoes.

Dustinthewind · 30/01/2012 21:21

Schools didn't used to be like this. But then, neither did parents.
In my day, if you were daft enough to have an inappropriate coa,t or shoes you couldn't cope with, or a poor lunch, that was a parenting issue and the schools let you get wet and fall over your laces. Same if you fell over in the playground and bashed yourself.
But look at the number of threads now with parents complaining about all sorts of trivialities to do with school, and wonder where the pressure to change and micromanage and interfere came from.
I blame parents and the government. Mostly the government. Regardless of which political party is running the joint.

Birdsgottafly · 30/01/2012 21:22

Sorry OP but since 'integrated' working came in, schools were then part of safeguarding/wellbeing (Every Child Matters) and became concerned with the 'whole child', they don't just 'do' education any more (so pleased my youngest is 14).

They do sound ott.

Original poster
spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 21:22

Shoes - yes - he has Kickers which I bought him in the Autumn before school - they still fit & he'll be wearing them until they don't.

Coats - he has a duffel coat & water-proofs which he wears ON APPROPRIATE DAYS - the days I sent him in his body-warmer were mild, no rain on the horizon - he plays better in a body warmer - we're country people - I know how to appropriately dress a child for climatic conditions.

& there are more things she's brought up - LOUDLY.

OP posts:
ChasTittyBeltUp · 30/01/2012 21:22

I remember a teacher asking a lads Mum to change his shoes for the same reason...it IS picky. But I agree with the coat issue. A bodywarmer is not warm enough.

Dustinthewind · 30/01/2012 21:23

We also managed without constant slurping from water bottles, excessive sun lotion application and umm...

specialgun · 30/01/2012 21:24

YABU. He's at school, there are rules just get over it and follow them. Hardly a crime to ask you to provide your child with a coat.

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2012 21:26

Most schools make it clear before starting that they want the children to wear shoes that don't need doing up by an adult.

Have you checked the letter/prospectus they sent you?

ilovesooty · 30/01/2012 21:28

So are the Kickers lace ups where the assistance of an adult is needed to put them on?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/01/2012 21:29

YANBU... it's ridiculous. I'd write a short, sharp missive to the headteacher, outlining the points and ask for a copy of the schools policy on every bloody thing... then get up a petition of other ticked-off parents and descend, en masse, at the next governors' meeting.

Power to the parents, right on! Grin

Hulababy · 30/01/2012 21:29

Coat - we do ask parents to send one in as we do go outside when it is raining and when it is cold, not just when it is fine rain either, sometimes in proper rain. We try and go out in all weathers as much as possible.

Shoes - can your DS put them on and off himself with little help required? If yes, no problem, ignore them. If not, then I would suggest that the next pairs were easier for him. We have some come in laced up shoes and they can't tie their own laces. It is a bit of a pain at times tbh.

Water bottle - yes, they should have one every day just in case they do want a drink. But your DS did have one. Just remind him to take it into class with him. The teacher should be asking him that anyway.

Eco lunch - Are they are eco-school by any chance?

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