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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did schools used to be like this?

330 replies

spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 20:58

DS started school FT in January & ever since it's been a constant stream of missives, announcements, edicts & raised brow questioning from his teacher.

The first week he was there I had a constant battle with his teacher because I was sending him to school with a padded body warmer on, not a coat, every day she asked me if he 'has a coat, because we play out every day, even when it's drizzling' & yes, you do, but not WHEN IT'S PISSING DOWN. In which case his arms will get slightly damp, as will his legs & face, how would you like me to mitigate against that, full dry suit & mask?

It was warmish & sunny, biblical floods were not on the horizon .

Consequently, EVERY CHUFFING DAY it's been something, last week was battle of the drinks, they have a school issued water bottle (irritating in itself) which I sometimes put in, he has milk at break & a drink for lunch, I was taken aside twice for not giving him a drink - I had he just didn't arsing drink it, maybe they should have asked him to look in his bag again?

Would you like me to pop in a few times a day to ensure he has fulfilled his government recommended level of fluid intake - WOULD YOU?

On Friday the lovely mum that drops him off sheepishly told me teacher asked her to mention she did NOT LIKE HIS SHOES, they are difficult to do up apparently - I'm sorry, I'll get him some M&S footgloves shall I?

Today's final straw was the letter from the eco-co-ordinator that asked me to reduce waste in his lunch box & that they would be speaking to the children about waste in their lunches THEN COLLECTING & COMPARING THAT WASTE - so you'd like to make my son feel like a miscreant & social pariah because he has a Baby-bel rather than a dried up hunk of cheddar planed from a block would you???

So AIBU to want to run through the school screaming - 'I AM A FREE BORN HUMAN BEING - MY CHILDREN ARE FREE BORN HUMAN BEINGS - I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TEACH THEM MATHS, & READING & SPELLING BUT LEAVE THE REST OF IT TO ME PLEASE'

Am I ?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 30/01/2012 22:28

I do think it's your responsibility to have taught him to tie his laces before sending him in with them on.

No teacher has the time to tie 30 pairs of laces.

If he can't do it, you need to get Velcro ones.

Original poster
spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 22:36

OK maybe, maybe you're right about the laces (capitulates slightly), but he had the shoes.

I just think the whole thing's too much - the constant edicts, missives & general nonsense - I've been invited to six events in school time so far this term - do we have to gaze upon their every proclamation & fart with joy?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/01/2012 22:39

You can fart with joy

Or just clap your hands like normal people

Grin
LaurieFairyCake · 30/01/2012 22:40

Oh yeah, sounds rubbish. I wouldn't give a monkeys about babybels for example - we get through 24 a week here.

Im guessing you're spending this week teaching him how to tie his laces so you don't have to buy more shoes. Grin

TrinityRhino · 30/01/2012 22:40

sometimes I think we need to pull back and think how hard it must be to try and be a teacher to so many children and therefore have to have a relationship with so many different parenting styles

gecko came home today and said she does;t want to wear tights to school anymore as it takes to long at p.e\fair enough, I told her I'll get her some trousers instead as I don't mind her not wanting to wear tights but a dress or skirt with only sock in this weather will not be warm enough

I thnk the teacher may have said something to her but I don't mind, it must be hell to try and get 25 odd kids changed twice and do p.e in a finite time

cricketballs · 30/01/2012 22:47

and some parents wonder why teachers are tearing their hair out Grin

olgaga · 30/01/2012 22:51

Does he need help with his shoes? If so YABU.

Why not just tell him to wear his coat, because the school expects it? YABU.

He needs to have his own water bottle during the day - it's good for him. Why do you think teachers should check your child's bag if he doesn't think he has any? You should make sure he knows whether he has it or not. YABU.

Babybels were banned at my DD's school because kids chucked the wax on the floor rather than bin it or take it home in their lunchbox. It made a godawful mess, caused slips and stained the flooring. Fruitbars were banned due to the amount of wrappers all over the playground.

What's the problem with schools trying to cut down on the amount of packaging and waste they have to deal with because some kids are unfamiliar with the need to dispose of their crap properly? YABU.

It may sound unreasonable to you, but they have more than just your DS to deal with.

If you give attitude when reminded about these things it probably has marked you out - as a pain in the arse. Why is complying with these simple requests such a problem for you?

Original poster
spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 23:02

Olgaga 'Babybels were banned at my DD's school' - I can see why - they are akin to crack cocaine aren't they? I would ban anything that, that....ahh just fucking ANYTHING.

BAN IT ALL.

Mould the fuckers - they're just future eco-bots anyway aren't they?

They're not people - they're just small eco-minded future consumers with bad grammar (& suitable shoes).

I JUST WANT YOU TO TEACH THEM HOW TO DO SUMS.

In fact, don't bother, I do a better job of it myself.

OP posts:
BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 30/01/2012 23:10

I agree whole heartedly olgaga.

You're starting to sound a bit deranged op.

Feminine · 30/01/2012 23:17

I think this 'going to school' thing has shocked you a bit.Wink

Its like that these days.

you must learn to chill, or home educate!

MajorBumsore · 30/01/2012 23:20

Infants piss on the floor in the toilets, then drag their undone laces through the piss. After a little while, they ask you to tie their laces. This is why I only teach upper juniors.

Bunbaker · 30/01/2012 23:28

"Coats - exactly why do I need to buy my child a coat"

Because, unless it is raining, the children get kicked outside at breaktimes and lunchtime in freezing temperatures in winter. I think it is a bit mean to send your child to school without a coat in cold weather.

TrinityRhino · 30/01/2012 23:30

wow, take a chill pill
do you work?
do you not have to conform to some rules that you think are annoying or stupid but you UNDERSTAND that some things go on for the greater good

your ds isn't going to become an eco bot just because he falls in and goes with the rules that are set out to make schooling shitloads of kids easier

and this coming from the woman who sometimes, wears knickers in her hair, gets angry that you can only buy what in 'fashion' in the shops, drives barefoot, has worn jambes bottoms in tesco, teaches her kids that of someone does\t like you cause you have the 'wrong' bag/shoes/coat (delete as appropriate), got an asbo on her car, allowed d1 to wear odd socks cause she liked it (even though ss were watching us and it caused me problems)

I am no eco bot or robot or anything

sometimes you just to realise that what your trying to do (individualism etc) isn't as fragile as you think

you don't have to fight everything

its a mindset, personality thing that isn't going to be changed by 'conforming' to some rules that the school have in place to make school life easier

and why can't he have a coat?

olgaga · 30/01/2012 23:30

Are you on some kind of personal crusade against authority? I think you're storing up a lot of trouble for yourself if your son starts to follow your example. He has been at school for less than a month, and it doesn't sound like you're being much help to him.

You're right, schools didn't used to be like this. There was a time when schools didn't really give a rat's arse about the kids in their care as long as they could do their "sums". But that's changed. Get used to it, because you've got years of this ahead of you.

Seriously, get a grip.

TrinityRhino · 30/01/2012 23:31

teaches her kids that of someone does\t like you cause you have the 'wrong' bag/shoes/coat (delete as appropriate)....then they aren't worth having as friends..... I meant

Original poster
spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 23:48

He does have a coat - as I said earlier - he has three coats, a duffle, a waterproof & a body-warmer.

& yes, maybe I am on a crusade against authority, but only the type of authority that speaks nonsense for no reason - I like my children to respect authority - I teach them much - the world is full of wonders, if you can't listen to a teacher, you will never learn that.

There is much to learn, & without discipline you can't learn anything, but to fill children's heads with spurious concerns & worries is specious & wrong.

OP posts:
ChasTittyBeltUp · 30/01/2012 23:56

Well if he has 3 coats why in the name of chilly arms don't you put one on him??

WetAugust · 30/01/2012 23:58

YANBU

Water bottles? WTF? What's wrong with tap water?

TrinityRhino · 31/01/2012 00:02

wetaugust, there is nothing wrong with tap water, they mean a bottle to fill with tap water at school

they don't mean bottled water.......

Feminine · 31/01/2012 00:02

But all the concerns you listed, are very valid and seem boringly useful.

I found it a shock too, but your child is not the most important one there.

I mean that nicely, schools function for everyone.

Bunbaker · 31/01/2012 00:02

It takes too long for the children to get some tap water if they already have a bottle filled with some at their disposal. It causes too much disruption in the class as well.

I used to fill DD's bottle with tap water. she takes a bottle of tap water to high school as well.

Dustinthewind · 31/01/2012 00:02

Nothing wrong with tap water.
Except parents don't like the idea of children sharing cups that haven't been thoroughly washed and cleaned, don't remember to give their children a container to fill up with said tap water, allow their children to block the water fountains in the playground with all sorts.
So, a clean bucket and a pack of straws then?
But what about body fluids like spit?
How would you sort it out?

TrinityRhino · 31/01/2012 00:02

I agree with chastittybeltup

blackeyedsusan · 31/01/2012 00:05

actually dust in the wind we didn't manage without suncream. we got horribly and painfully burnt oh and My cancer risk has increased because of sunburn as a child. great.

pissing bloody 70's schools.

we had a drinking fountain. much easier. and a hell of a lot more fun.

Feminine · 31/01/2012 00:06

Do schools in the UK still have water fountains?