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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did schools used to be like this?

330 replies

spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 20:58

DS started school FT in January & ever since it's been a constant stream of missives, announcements, edicts & raised brow questioning from his teacher.

The first week he was there I had a constant battle with his teacher because I was sending him to school with a padded body warmer on, not a coat, every day she asked me if he 'has a coat, because we play out every day, even when it's drizzling' & yes, you do, but not WHEN IT'S PISSING DOWN. In which case his arms will get slightly damp, as will his legs & face, how would you like me to mitigate against that, full dry suit & mask?

It was warmish & sunny, biblical floods were not on the horizon .

Consequently, EVERY CHUFFING DAY it's been something, last week was battle of the drinks, they have a school issued water bottle (irritating in itself) which I sometimes put in, he has milk at break & a drink for lunch, I was taken aside twice for not giving him a drink - I had he just didn't arsing drink it, maybe they should have asked him to look in his bag again?

Would you like me to pop in a few times a day to ensure he has fulfilled his government recommended level of fluid intake - WOULD YOU?

On Friday the lovely mum that drops him off sheepishly told me teacher asked her to mention she did NOT LIKE HIS SHOES, they are difficult to do up apparently - I'm sorry, I'll get him some M&S footgloves shall I?

Today's final straw was the letter from the eco-co-ordinator that asked me to reduce waste in his lunch box & that they would be speaking to the children about waste in their lunches THEN COLLECTING & COMPARING THAT WASTE - so you'd like to make my son feel like a miscreant & social pariah because he has a Baby-bel rather than a dried up hunk of cheddar planed from a block would you???

So AIBU to want to run through the school screaming - 'I AM A FREE BORN HUMAN BEING - MY CHILDREN ARE FREE BORN HUMAN BEINGS - I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TEACH THEM MATHS, & READING & SPELLING BUT LEAVE THE REST OF IT TO ME PLEASE'

Am I ?

OP posts:
Original poster
spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 21:59

I can feel them lifting.

OP posts:
Dustinthewind · 30/01/2012 22:00

I think it is odd that you all seem to believe that the teachers enjoy all the crap and rules and fussing. It was imposed upon us, and there are enough people watching our every move, waiting to pounce and complain.
Parents, SMT, OFSTED, the Press.
If you dislike it, campaign for change. But you will achieve it over the shrieks of the mummies worried about their PFB, and Ofsted ready to fail a school who has the wrong sort of fence.

Dustinthewind · 30/01/2012 22:01

'I feel a passive/aggressive, sweetly smiled "Goodness, when do you ever get time to actually teach?" coming at the teacher/s. No, scrub that. I don't feel it coming on, it's arrived, singing, dancing and screaming and it would be asked!'

Many teachers are asking the same thing.

Hulababy · 30/01/2012 22:01

Children were taught to do laces up and buckles ime of the past. I remember being shown and shown how to do it. And I was little. But it does take practise.

If a child is going to wear lace up shoes they must be taught how to tie them. OK, to start with they may come loose, but persist, It is possible. DD wears a tie for school and she was able to tie her tie (not too disimilar than laces really) within the first 3 or 4 weeks of school, if not sooner.

These days most people don;t bother as their children have velcro I guess. I remember with DD making a big effort to teach her at 6y when I realised she couldn't do laces.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 30/01/2012 22:03

So can your lo fasten his laces op?

Dustinthewind · 30/01/2012 22:04

So you got no material about starting school whatsoever, no pack of information, there's nothing on the school website. No introductory meeting setting out the expectations of the school and the partnership you were embarking on.
You started on the first day with nothing. That is very unusual.

Original poster
spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 22:05

Dust - I really don't think it's all teachers - I don't, just this particular teacher has obviously embraced all edicts, fully & to her bosom, tbh I think she must be the type of person who loves a rule - & her life is happier now.

But schools, government & the rest have quite happily taken on this mantle - not individuals - it's just that some individual are more than happy to embrace them.

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 30/01/2012 22:07

Have you thought about Home Schooling - the rules are so much clearer :)

Original poster
spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 22:07

Re laces - we are working on it - I am hoping he will not be sporting Ecco shoes as a 40 year old (as all ye velcro wearer's son's will be).

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 30/01/2012 22:07

At least they aren't teaching your dc diplomacy Wink

DioneTheDiabolist · 30/01/2012 22:09

Ask the teacher for a meeting and sort it out. You sound frustrated and this will rub off on your DC. Best to get the information pack and lay down some ground rules for communication now.

Hulababy · 30/01/2012 22:09

It's the tying up of wet soggy laces I really don't like, esp on dry days. Because why are they then wet?

Original poster
spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 22:10

Chipping I thought long & hard about it - I'm going indie next year.

OP posts:
BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 30/01/2012 22:13

Couldn't agree with you more op Hmm

My children will never be able to tie laces because I send our five year old to school with Velcro shoes Hmm

foglike · 30/01/2012 22:13

I honestly can't even remember my mum in the school yard when I was at school.

Nowadays kids come home with loads of letters and announcements.

Things have definitely changed.

Miette · 30/01/2012 22:13

He doesn't need a full dry suit & mask. He just needs a coat with sleeves in January. You don't need to pop in a few times a day to ensure he has fulfilled his government recommended level of fluid intake, you just need to ask him to remember to get his drink out of his bag and put it where the bottles are supposed to go, so he can access it easily. He doesn't need M&S footgloves. He needs shoes he can do up himself as they have 30 kids in the class. Surely the letter about waste in lunchboxes was a general one to all parents and not the dinner lady picking on your child's particular lunch box? Surely the dinner lady and teacher aren't both picking on him? I just think they are trying to make sure he has what he needs in school, rather than trying to make your life difficult. What could they have to gain from that?

Original poster
spiderslegs · 30/01/2012 22:13

ivy I am a natural diplomat.

OP posts:
MotherAbigail · 30/01/2012 22:14

At my DDs school, they do not play outside in hot sun (too dangerous), snow (ditto), ice or frost (ditto), wind (ditto) or if the floor is wet - never mind drizzle, they have indoor play if it 'looks like it might rain'.

Some of my best (only?) school memories are of trying to fly with your coat over your head in the wind, having epic snowball battles in the winter and of having a reading lesson outside on the playing field on a hot summers day. These are things my DD will not experience.

Out of interest, what happens when these children grow up and get jobs - do they think they don't have to leave the house in adverse weather conditions, because they have never learnt how to be outside in them, so can have a day off?

Probably IABU. I think children should be encouraged to be out in all weathers. Maybe I was a drill instructor in a former life....

Hulababy · 30/01/2012 22:17

What a shame for your DD and her friends MotherAbigail. Most of the schools round here have an "out all the time" thing for play time. Now when I am duty I am not keen, but there you go. We go out come rain or shine.

And last year in all the snow was great fun. We had a whole lesson on builbing snowmen and got thoroughly wet through!

ivykaty44 · 30/01/2012 22:18

spiderslegs, thats good cause the teacher aint

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 30/01/2012 22:20

Mother-I was under the impression children HAD to have X amount of time outdoors every day? I could be wrong....

startail · 30/01/2012 22:23

UANBU
We had a massive fuss at the beginning of the year about water not squash in drink bottles.
DD2, who won't drink water, said the HT could fuck off.
In all honesty, having told her off for swearing, I had to agree with her.
I have been trying to get DD2 to drink water for the past 9 years. Had he suggested this in a July heatwave he might have stood a chance, but in Sept. DD2 will happily go all day with out a drink.
I just get the crap mood when she gets home.

Of course like most edicts from school it was forgotten a week later.

MotherAbigail · 30/01/2012 22:24

sounds like my kind of school Hulababy! We haven't had a sports day in three years, and an inter-class football match on a warm sunny day was cancelled because a short shower in the morning may have made the grass a bit slippy.

Luckily, DD sees it all for the nonsense it is and has a healthy disregard for H&S nonsense. Within reason, obviously, I don't have her mountain climbing or swimming rapids or anything. Or God forbid, going to school in a body warmer instead of a coat Wink.

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2012 22:26

They don't have to drink the water, the school just wants them to have a supply of it.

OP re your DS 'working on' doing up his own laces...can you imagine having a class of 30 children 'working on' doing theirs up too?

PE would literally take up most of the morning or afternoon and that doesn't leave much time for teaching.

MotherAbigail · 30/01/2012 22:27

BoysBoysBoysandMe - I would have thought that was the case too. Maybe I should climb down off my soapbox and be a bit more proactive. Although for a 40 year old, I am surprisingly nervous about challenging a HT Blush