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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

The relationship section of MN makes my blood boil.

868 replies

aaaaaaaaargh · 30/01/2012 19:42

I will never set virtual foot in there again. I have imprints on my forehead of the keyboard from where I have been banging my head against it. It makes no SENSE!!! I have a jaw like Jacob Marley. There are so many threads like this:

OP: The other day I was a miserable cow, kids were stressing me. He came home to a complete shithole and then proceeded to clean up. I could sense he was a bit miffed at the state of the house so I told him to cook his own fucking dinner. He wanted to tell me about a problem with work, but I was pissed off and told him I wasn't interested, tell someone who gives a shit. He then shouted that I didn't give a toss about him and stomped upstairs. I can't live like this anymore.

Reply: He cleaned up?? How controlling is he? He then tried to make you listen to his work problems? What about YOUR problems?

Reply: He's emotionally abusive, but you know this don't you.

Reply: Definitely controlling, he doesn't care about what you want. He wanted to make you clean up and listen to his problems. Why the fuck are you cooking his dinner?

Reply: He shouted at you? This is abusive behaviour. You don't have to put up with this, you need to really think about how to proceed. Has he shouted before? This isn't normal.

Reply: Well actually, you weren't too pleasant to him. Perhaps you should look at YOUR behaviour.

Reply (to above poster): Great support there, this woman lives with an emotional abuser. Don't speak if you haven't got anything constructive to say. Don't listen to that poster OP.

Etc, etc....

I know that a lot of people in seriously abusive or violent situations have been helped in this section, and that that is an extremely good thing, before you point that out to me.

But some of the replies on other threads!!! Madness.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 01/02/2012 21:05

ah, you do have a specific beef then, OP

why don't you just tell us who are you, who upset you and we can clear all this up in 2 minutes flat

notfluffyatall · 01/02/2012 21:05

Oops, forgot the other favourites,

Fluffy is obviously very lucky to have no real understanding of DV. I have a pretty good understanding of DV, it's just that more often than not there is little or no evidence from the OP that there is DV involved. One OP had to actually stress NO HE'S NOT ABUSING ME, they then went on for a while attempting to convince her he is.

AnyFucker · 01/02/2012 21:05

you can pm me if you like

my inbox is open to you

bejeezus · 01/02/2012 21:08

Maybe there is lots of help given, but it can't be a coincidence that nearly all of the threads I've been on or viewed turned really shitty

haha...no, maybe it isnt coincidence

Irishchic · 01/02/2012 21:09

Aaaaaaargh - Why are you persisting with this thread?

You made a good point. Some people dont like the point you made, some agree with it, and there you have it.

It must be doing your head in to keep bashing your head off the brick wall, why not just agree to differ with all these posters, they are never going to agree with you at this stage.

notfluffyatall · 01/02/2012 21:10

Yes, and then the immature sarcastic remarks, they're nice.

Smellythesockpuppet · 01/02/2012 21:11

Slinking I don't know what you mean!!!!

I am just here to defend the op who I have already said I agree with 110%!!!

She has so much common sence do you not think so??!!

Whatmeworry · 01/02/2012 21:13

It must be doing your head in to keep bashing your head off the brick wall, why not just agree to differ with all these posters, they are never going to agree with you at this stage.

I agree, its all been said now, and judging by this thread the worst offenders are the very ones unable to see the problem, so you are never going to get agreement.

Maybe its time the relationship section had more people going on it, ignoring the shit thrown at them, just so the OPs get a more balanced view.

aaaaaaargh · 01/02/2012 21:13

#ah, you do have a specific beef then, OP

No.

Smellythesockpuppet · 01/02/2012 21:13

beejezus I dont know how can u SAY that, thats so mean and exactly what sort of thing the op is talking about!!!

UnlikelyAmazonian · 01/02/2012 21:15

namechanger namechanger.

I only posted something about garibaldi biscuits ffs and it was deleted? Men eh? they can't forget a custard cream.

bejeezus · 01/02/2012 21:16

it isnt mean. and it isnt the sort of thing the OP is talking about either

AnyFucker · 01/02/2012 21:16

aaaaaaargh Wed 01-Feb-12 21:01:27
#I was told to fuck off several times, had my own relationship ridiculed, was bated and bated mercilessly. By grown women.

Join the club.

--------

that sounds very much like a specific beef to me

aaaaaaargh · 01/02/2012 21:19

#why don't you just tell us who are you, who upset you and we can clear all this up in 2 minutes flat

I am the person who started this thread, who has posted throughout. These are my opinions. That's all.

It's been an interesting debate, when all's said and done. That was all I wanted to achieve, not to stir, or upset. I've taken a lot of stick on here, but that's fine.

LeBOF · 01/02/2012 21:22

I don't think it was that interesting. Or much of a debate. Unless 'yes it is, no it's not' counts as stimulating.

notfluffyatall · 01/02/2012 21:22

"...not to stir, or upset. I've taken a lot of stick on here, but that's fine."

This is what I mean, it's embarrassing. Voicing your opinion should not result in being ridiculed, told to fuck off, called names or any type of schoolyard behaviour. We are grown women.

aaaaaaargh · 01/02/2012 21:23

#that sounds very much like a specific beef to me

I can't remember the usernames, I don't often notice. I know yours because you're everywhere, but you weren't on the threads I got stick on

Even if I did have a gripe with a specific poster, I wouldn't take it up with them personally.

aaaaaaargh · 01/02/2012 21:26

#It must be doing your head in to keep bashing your head off the brick wall

I know, but they keep going ON.

aaaaaaargh · 01/02/2012 21:27

#I don't think it was that interesting. Or much of a debate. Unless 'yes it is, no it's not' counts as stimulating.

Be stimulated on another board??

UnlikelyAmazonian · 01/02/2012 21:33

eh?

think you are losing your way a bit now aaaa x umpteen.

But you have raised many interesting issues.

I for one shall never visit the relationships board again as it is unholy rubbish. You have convinced me.

[now pass that packet of garibaldis]

UnlikelyAmazonian · 01/02/2012 21:39

I am going to start a garibaldi thread on the biscuit board.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh will be nomptynimptynooo by then posting on Chat.

bejeezus · 01/02/2012 21:41

I know, but they keep going ON

thats the trouble with these wimen on 'ere...they go on and on and on and on. You cant have a proper conversation with them, they get all emotional and irrational. No wonder so many of them have problems in their marriages

LeBOF · 01/02/2012 21:42

I think the nicest thing to come from this thread is the burgeoning love between notfluffyatall and aaaaargh. They are playing it a bit gruff and tough for now, in an 'alright mate' sorta way, but soon, inevitably, there love of precise quoting and mutual despair at the 'misandry' on mumsnet will weld them together in a sweet bromance. I am going to buy a hat.

aaaaaaargh · 01/02/2012 21:43

Such a try hard. Sweet.

notfluffyatall · 01/02/2012 21:44

Bitching! So soon? I've hardly even settled in.

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