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AIBU?

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Original poster

The relationship section of MN makes my blood boil.

868 replies

aaaaaaaaargh · 30/01/2012 19:42

I will never set virtual foot in there again. I have imprints on my forehead of the keyboard from where I have been banging my head against it. It makes no SENSE!!! I have a jaw like Jacob Marley. There are so many threads like this:

OP: The other day I was a miserable cow, kids were stressing me. He came home to a complete shithole and then proceeded to clean up. I could sense he was a bit miffed at the state of the house so I told him to cook his own fucking dinner. He wanted to tell me about a problem with work, but I was pissed off and told him I wasn't interested, tell someone who gives a shit. He then shouted that I didn't give a toss about him and stomped upstairs. I can't live like this anymore.

Reply: He cleaned up?? How controlling is he? He then tried to make you listen to his work problems? What about YOUR problems?

Reply: He's emotionally abusive, but you know this don't you.

Reply: Definitely controlling, he doesn't care about what you want. He wanted to make you clean up and listen to his problems. Why the fuck are you cooking his dinner?

Reply: He shouted at you? This is abusive behaviour. You don't have to put up with this, you need to really think about how to proceed. Has he shouted before? This isn't normal.

Reply: Well actually, you weren't too pleasant to him. Perhaps you should look at YOUR behaviour.

Reply (to above poster): Great support there, this woman lives with an emotional abuser. Don't speak if you haven't got anything constructive to say. Don't listen to that poster OP.

Etc, etc....

I know that a lot of people in seriously abusive or violent situations have been helped in this section, and that that is an extremely good thing, before you point that out to me.

But some of the replies on other threads!!! Madness.

OP posts:
MitchieInge · 31/01/2012 14:50

are you seriously more offended by someone identifying as a regular on MN acting as ambassador than by the freaks on that site lying?

though offence isn't really the word is it

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2012 14:55

I don't think anyone has said they are 'more offended' Mitch

But they are certainly encouraging the posters over there.

That in itself makes me wonder if that MNetter has their own agenda.

The whole 'This board V that board' is pathetic and it's a shame they decided to stoop to the other board poster's level and encourage them.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 31/01/2012 14:55

Hmm... let me see? I don't want any poster on MN speaking for me. If they have the time, inclination and questionable agenda enough to go an post on such a horrible site.. well good, perhaps they'll enjoy it so much they'll stay there.

It's perfectly possible to ignore that site - I didn't even know about it until it was posted here. To what purpose I still don't know. To go and prod them seems self-serving attention-seeking to me. To pretend to be doing it for any useful reason... beyond stupid.

Freak is as freak does... in other words, the company you keep.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 31/01/2012 14:56

YY Worra... troll is as troll does... Grin

AnyFucker · 31/01/2012 14:58

lying you need to be a bit careful here

a couple of posts back you were saying that people didn't need to name-call, harangue posters as being "stupid" etc

and you just did that

it's ok after all, then ?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 31/01/2012 15:00

Whom did I name call? Point the poster out please.

Truckulentagain · 31/01/2012 15:01

I don't understand the need to link to a tiny thread, on an obscure website.
Why give it the attention?

And if there are threads with a title about anal sex they are going to attract attention, a bit naive to think otherwise.

AnyFucker · 31/01/2012 15:23

lying my apologies

I think I have misunderstood you

I thought you were calling caramelwaffle stupid for posting that link on here

I have gone back and re-read your post of 14:55 and I see now you are talking about the person who posted there not the person who linked it here

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 31/01/2012 15:31

No problem, AF.

AnyFucker · 31/01/2012 15:32
Smile
OrmIrian · 31/01/2012 15:47

Actually, I think I can see what OP means. There are times when I am left reeling at some of the initial responses to what seems like a bit of a spat, or a some slightly nasty behaviour from the partner. The sort of thing that most relationships suffer from time to time with no ill effects.

But as the thread goes on it tends to become clear that the particular incident is the tip of the iceberg. And there is a great deal more to it than initially appears to be the case. Few people would post about something so intimate than their significant relationship failing unless they really felt at the end of their rope.

And no-one is forced to take he advice, or even read the thread...

OrmIrian · 31/01/2012 15:49

Oh. Dear Hmm

BasilRathbone · 31/01/2012 16:46

I think that link was probably posted in order to let some posters who may be unaware, what sort of woman-hating scum invade MN on a regular basis in order to give advice to women, to just be doormats.

Some of them hang around for weeks pretending to be real posters and other posters, who are genuine but misguided, are then backed up by men whose real agenda is to ensure that women don't step out of line because frankly, they hate us. All this bollocks about misandry being attributed to women who recognise and call abuse when they see it, should be put into the context of men like those on that site, who really do genuinely hate all of us here because we are women. Or bored cumbuckets, if you prefer.

It's useful for people to know, that there are men out there with agendas like this and that they come here regularly and some of them are slightly less stupid than the others and manage to blend in a bit better.

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2012 16:52

I can kind of see your point Basil but really anyone who uses the internet knows that not everyone is necessarily who they appear to be....and that would include the regs here too obviously.

All that link did imo was give the other posters on that board the attention they crave.

Like Lying I'd never even heard of that board til I clicked the link and with MN being as big and as popular as it is, that's not a bad little bit of advertising for them.

As for the person who went to the trouble of actually registering an account to let them know "We can't wait either"...well that makes that person almost as bad as them imo.

OriginalJamie · 31/01/2012 17:26

I totally agree with you, Orm. It is, very often, a tip of the iceberg thing. Not always, but very often. I had no idea what other women put up with til I came on MN

BasilRathbone · 31/01/2012 17:34

Yes I think it's a good point, on the whole, women who have just had a row with their usually perfectly reasonable and decent husband who is currently being a big PITA, don't tend to post on the relationship threads. By the time many women post, things have escalated to a point where they feel really quite desperate and unhappy.

Not always of course, but often. And that's why on further discussion, it turns out that there's a hell of a lot more shit going on, than the original post.

aaaaaaargh · 31/01/2012 18:15

What was the purpose of linking to that other site?

BasilRathbone · 31/01/2012 18:17

Oh you're back.

See my post of 1646 for one possible answer to that question.

AltShiftDelete · 31/01/2012 18:20

I am so blown away by the link to Petrol Heads. I am genuinely shocked. What a fucked up lot they are.

BasilRathbone · 31/01/2012 18:29

I think people need to know that there are a section of men out there who think like this.

Women have no idea just how much some men hate us.

Even though they kill 2 of us a week and subject 1 in 4 of us to rape or sexual abuse and 25% of us to ongoing DV.

Most women are still oblivious to the hatred. They're too busy looking out for so called misandry, which appears to be the belief that men are full adult human beings with brains and hearts, who are capable of feeling and thinking and considering other human beings and taking responsibility for their own behaviour. That's man-hating apparently. People should take a look at woman-hating and see it for what it is. There are tons of sites on the internet like this one. Tons of them. No so-called misandrist has ever used language like this about men.

aaaaaaargh · 31/01/2012 18:32

Ok. But it doesn't have relevance to this thread. Misogyny exists, I've experienced it myself. I have friends that have lived with it.

Linking to a misogynistic site? For what. It still doesn't make misandry ok.

aaaaaaargh · 31/01/2012 18:35

#No so-called misandrist has ever used language like this about men

How on earth do you KNOW this? The internet and world are big places filled with all sorts of views.

BasilRathbone · 31/01/2012 18:36

It has massive relevance to this thread.

Those sort of men come over here regularly and pretend to be posters. They post advice which advises women that abusive behaviour is not abusive and that they should put up with shit.

As I said, some of them deliberately blend in and hang about for weeks.

WillCrossThatBridge · 31/01/2012 18:36

Wow, Basil, just wow!

aaaaaaargh · 31/01/2012 18:37

#Most women are still oblivious to the hatred. They're too busy looking out for so called misandry, which appears to be the belief that men are full adult human beings with brains and hearts, who are capable of feeling and thinking and considering other human beings and taking responsibility for their own behaviour. That's man-hating apparently. People should take a look at woman-hating and see it for what it is. There are tons of sites on the internet like this one. Tons of them. No so-called misandrist has ever used language like this about men.

Doing yourself no favours here.

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